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Easy does it Is your child (and family) doing too much? By Kerri S. MabeePublished: May, 2007

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With today's competitive global economy, it is imperative that our kids have every opportunity to gain ground, get an edge and achieve. Right? For some families, this can mean the pursuit of every educational enhancement possible. Piano lessons. Foreign language and martial arts classes. Cheer and dance. Baseball and private coaching. The list goes on and on. And, frankly, so does your day.  Despite the hectic schedule, many parents and educators insist that there are benefits to keeping children involved in as many activities as possible. One such advantage is the independence they gain. And, with so many pressing commitments packed into the day, there is little time for an idle youth to find his way to trouble. These kids are moving in a positive direction. They have a focus. They have goals. But, before you whip out your checkbook for another hobby, another lesson, another league, consider this: A 2006 KidsHealth KidsPoll found that "of the 882 kids ages 9-13 who were polled, 41% reported feeling stressed 'most of the time' or 'always' because they have too much to do." A whopping 77% of those same young respondents indicated that they wished they had more free time.  How do you know if your kids are doing too much? The child health experts at KidsHealth.org say the following telltale signs may mean your kids is doing too much if they:  • Leave homework unfinished or complete it late at night because there's not enough time in the day.  • Rush through meals to go somewhere.  • Complain about having to go to practice, games or lessons.  • Are not getting to bed on time.  • Report stomachaches, headaches and other anxious feelings.  • Demonstrate emotional behavior because of a busy schedule. Another very important aspect to consider is how you are feeling. If you are unable to fulfill your own obligations at work and at home because of the overwhelming demands of the child's activities, that is a big indication that you all may be doing too much. If you think your children are overscheduled, overworked and being stretched beyond their limits, read on for tips on ways to address the issue logically and responsibly:  • Prioritize the day according to the needs and values of the family. Brainstorm some ways that the activities and responsibilities on the list can either be scaled back or rearranged for healthier, happier living.  • Keep the lines of communication open so your kids will feel comfortable in coming to you for help. You might even want to step back and examine your own hectic schedule. Are you being a good role model for your youngster with a calendar that is just as crazy?  • Provide nutritious meals, snacks and plenty of water to help maintain healthy stamina throughout the day.  • Re-evaluate household chores as a way of lightening the load. It may be that reassigning a chore to a different day or shelving it altogether may be helpful.  • Provide opportunities for some "down time" by planning a family game night or an evening stroll as a way of releasing tension.  • Finally, if grades are falling and tempers are rising, reconsider the absolute necessity of your kids' activities. It may be that one or more will need to be eliminated for the sake of everyone's sanity!  Ultimately, by assuming additional commitments, children acquire the essential life skills of the 21st century - teamwork, responsibility, multi-tasking and time management. However, the best lesson we can impart to this very driven, high-powered generation is that moderation is the key to a healthy and fulfilling life.  Kerri Mabee of Temecula is a regular contributor to OC Family Magazine.  RESOURCES  "The Hurried Child: Growing Up Too Fast Too Soon," by David Elkind, Perseus Books, 2001, $16.50.  "Family Guide to Emotional Wellness," edited by Patrick Fanning and Matthew McKay, New Harbinger, 2000, $24.95.  "The Over-Scheduled Child: Avoiding the Hyper-Parenting Trap," by Alvin Rosenfeld, M.D., and Nicole Wise, Griffin Trade Paperback, 2001, $13.95.

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