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April 21-27 is “TV Turn-Off Week.” If your response to that news is, “No kidding!” you’re definitely not alone. If you have a child in school, you’ve no doubt received more than enough “turn off your TV” letters aimed at parents.

Don’t get me wrong. There’s nothing wrong with turning off the old tube for a week and focusing on other things. We’ve all seen the studies on the number of murders a child will see on television before he turns 18. We’ve heard how today’s children are out of shape because they spend too much time on the couch. And, most telling, we’ve seen the effects of too much television ourselves. One mom I know calls it “the zombie” – the look that comes over her 7-year-old when he watches too many Saturday-morning cartoons.

According to research from the University of Michigan, in a typical American home, the TV is on for more than 7 hours per day. The average child spends more time watching TV than he spends in school. And children see an average of 1,000 to 2,000 television ads for alcohol each year.

The shows our kids love to watch
According to Nielsen Media Research, 2 of the 10 most-watched shows by children ages 2 through 11 are “Survivor” and “The Simpsons.” (Happily, “Desperate Housewives,” a former favorite of the younger set, is no longer on the Top 10 list, according to Nielsen.)

But we know, too, that the picture isn’t all that bad. And many of us are trying to find a balance in our family’s TV viewing that will last all year – not just for a week in April. Fortunately, singing, dancing and ice-skating have recently made their way into children’s evening viewing habits. Nielsen reports that “American Idol,” “Skating with Celebrities” and “Dancing with the Stars” are current childhood favorites.

As with most things, moderation is the key. In fact, if we use it wisely, television can open up exciting, new worlds for our kids. Marguerite Kelly, a parenting-advice columnist, best-selling author of “The Mother’s Almanac” (Doubleday) and the mother of 4 grown children, has some helpful words on this subject:

Q: We hear so much about how TV is bad for kids. What’s the best thing about it?
A: Television can inspire. It can make a kid curious. It can also be a great bonding time for parents and kids. But, parents have to make sure that happens. Watch with your kids. In a subtle way, you can use a show as a springboard for family discussions.

Q: How much TV should children watch?
A: I think 5 to 7 hours per week is plenty for kids under 7. For older kids, 8 to 10 hours seems about right. Have your kids look through the television schedule and mark their shows for the week. It certainly helps to build their negotiation skills.

Q: How important is it for parents to set a good example when it comes to TV viewing?
A: It’s very important. Kids pay much more attention to what we do than to what we say. Make sure your kids see you doing lots of enjoyable things other than watching TV: reading books, enjoying hobbies, even just getting out of the house for a walk.

Q: My child is afraid of some of the things on the 6 o’clock news. Frankly, so am I! How do I handle this?
A: More and more parents are not allowing their 6-, 7- and 8-year-olds to watch television news, and I think that’s wise. The murder rate in this country is way down, but you wouldn’t know it from watching the news. If you feel your kids are mature enough, watch it with them and emphasize that murders, etc., are shown because they’re unusual.

Q: What about dealing with the “arsenic hour,” when everyone is tired and cranky and parents are trying to get dinner on the table?
A: Beware of former primetime shows that are shown during the dinner hour as reruns. For example, “Seinfeld” is a terrific show, but obviously it’s not appropriate for young children. The problem is, it appears all over the country now in dinner-hour reruns. As always, you have to monitor what your kids are watching. As an alternative, borrow videos from the library. A few suggestions: “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory,” “Harriet the Spy,” “Beauty and the Beast.” Allow the kids to watch 1 for 20 or 30 minutes each night.

Q: How can we make our kids more critical viewers?
A: Laugh at TV! Make fun of it. Make your child feel like he’s in on the joke when you explain how dumb some shows are. Parents don’t realize how much influence they have with their children. Make your child feel accepted on your intellectual level when you’re discussing the merits of a show. Ask her opinion.

Q: What’s your strongest piece of advice to parents?
A: Never have a television in a child’s bedroom. This tears the fabric of the family because it puts parents and children on a different track. And it separates the family: Everyone goes into his or her cell after feeding hour!

Q: What’s a tried-and-true way to turn TV viewing into an ongoing family experience?
A: Have a weekly family hang-out night. Parents can designate 1 night each week when the family sits down to watch a show that everyone’s agreed on. Watch the same show each week. Make popcorn or a snack the kids can prepare on their own, or with your help. Don’t answer the phone. Afterward, families can read together or play a game or take a walk. Everyone will look forward to the ritual and the shared time together.

Q: What’s the best way for parents to judge a TV show?
A: If the characters on the show came to your front door, would you let them in? If not, change the channel!


Kathy Sena is a freelance journalist who frequently covers parenting issues and is the mother of a 12-year-old boy. Visit her parenting blog at parenttalktoday.com.