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History tells us that young children were raised to work. They toiled in kitchens and fields and factories. They cooked and sewed, hauled water and slop jars. And they were expected to care for their younger brothers and sisters without question or fanfare. Today’s realities are a different story altogether. Our own hectic work schedules demand an elevated sort of maturity and independence of our children. But, are they ready for it? There are circumstances in which using an older sibling to babysit is not a healthy option. Dr. Gayle Peterson, author of “An Easier Childbirth, Birthing Normally” and “Making Healthy Families,” cautions that a child who is given too much responsibility “may be much more likely to be abusive or neglectful, if he resents the responsibility he is shouldering.” And, let’s not forget the younger kids. They too can feel resentful of the authority wielded over them by one of their peers. Such division can create a wedge between siblings. Therefore, great care must be taken in determining whether or not your circumstances are right for using a sibling sitter. How can you determine if your children are ready for the job? The following are some helpful suggestions for ensuring a successful “sitting” experience: Enlist the full cooperation of all involved. Peterson suggests that if the younger ones resent the authority of the older child, it is “more likely that rebellion or chaos will break out.” Conduct short practice runs as a way of testing the waters. Start with a 20-minute absence and then work your way up to a longer period away. Be accessible! Equip your youngsters with current phone numbers of family and friends. Be sure that all of your backups are located within a short, come-to-the-rescue distance. Alert trusted neighbors to your absence and ask for their help in keeping a distant but watchful eye on your house. Make sure they have a phone number to reach you. Consider the ages and maturity levels of the sitter and the kids. If your eldest child is likely to engage in childish battles and pranks with his siblings, he may not be ready for the burden of authority. Likewise, if the younger children show signs of defiance, consider other options. Review all the necessary rules of safety. What should they do if a stranger comes to the door? How much information should they reveal to a caller? What are the best exit routes in the event of fire? Consult your pediatrician if you have any real concerns about any one of your children. An objective, well-informed opinion can help you determine if your kids are ready for the responsibilities entrusted to them. Moderation and common sense are the keys to the success of any venture. Ultimately, the lessons our children take away from such an experience will serve them well in the workplace and on the home front for years to come. Kerri S. Mabee of Temecula is a freelance writer and mother to three children. Babysitter checklist Still not sure? Consider this checklist before hiring a babysitter: ** Meet the sitter and check references in advance. ** Be certain the sitter has had first-aid training and knows CPR. ** Be sure the babysitter is at least 13 years old and mature enough to handle common emergencies. ** Have the sitter meet the children and learn their routines. ** Show the sitter around the house. Point out fire escape routes and potential problem areas. ** Discuss feeding, bathing and sleeping arrangements with your children. ** Tell you sitter of any allergies or specific needs your children have. ** Have emergency supplies available, including a flashlight, first-aid chart, and first-aid supplies. ** Tell the sitter where you will be and when you will return. ** Post your address, phone number and emergency numbers near the phone. |
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