What Dad Thinks

Some 100 national awards and 120 issues into this experiment of OC Family Magazine (a few less years and issues for sister publication Inland Empire Family Magazine), and I’m still not sure where dads stand.

That may not be the most concise of 10th-anniversary statements. And you might wonder, since I’ve been at this for all that time, why I shouldn’t be giving direction, rather than seek an answer.

The work in this magazine has been honored, embraced and deservedly read. I’m just not sure my contributions, as an editor who happens to be a dad, have resonated with the millions of people who have at least taken a look. I’ve tried every tack – from the emotion of sports to the dangers of the Internet. Often, and I suspect it’s because of the gender of the byline, the words have been answered with silence.

The gig hasn’t put me on any national boards, or led to an appearance on “Oprah.” KPPC hasn’t called for a radio interview to ask what my experience and research has uncovered about the American parent or, even specifically, the dad of this era.

I’ve written a book, “On the Run: Lessons in Fatherhood,” that I believe captures some of the angst many of us feel, where the only refuge at times seems to be on a Little League field. Where we truly have a voice.

It’s tough to be a dad, and moms know it. So, in this fabulous remake of our classic magazine, you’ll have to understand that this column won’t be where you park your eyes to read about how I’m helping out around the house by folding the laundry. I’ve already done that for years, and besides, I have never been a proponent of a tick list that defines a dad by such tasks.

They are important, but so is building a fence, which I will do the weekend that I write this, or building a treehouse, which I did (with lots of dad helpers) some years back.

I’ve never believed in the “us vs. them” thing in a household. Mom and dad need to work in coordination, not as opposites. What’s more, I’ve always been an opponent to being the “them” in that equation.

It’s demeaning. And, frankly, it ought to stop.

To read my blog about dads, go to, and direct your husbands to, ocfamily.com. Let’s move the conversation about a father’s role in the family into a 2-way mode. At least 1 dad who is studying life’s daily effects would appreciate it.

Craig Reem is the executive editor for OC Family Magazine.