Most men are sweet fellows who just want to please. Like women, they
want to know that they are loved and appreciated. And they want to
express their feelings, as well. It’s just that men don’t have a lot of
outlets for expression. Physical intimacy is one of them. Take that
away from a man, and if you are a woman, you may miss out on being on
the receiving end of that loving. Not that men shouldn’t develop other
ways of expressing their feelings. It’s just that it isn’t fair to
accuse a man of always having selfish motives, rather than seeing that
he wants his woman to feel his desire to be close.
What of
the other myths: sloppiness, lying and cheating? Well, for nearly every
woman who makes this complaint, there is a man saying much the same
about a woman. Bad behavior isn’t the exclusive domain of one sex or
the other. It’s a question of individual character. And it’s unfair to
take a single instance or two and use it to put an entire group in a
negative light.
This month is Father’s Day. It’s time to notice the good men in your life, and notice the good they do, as well.
• > Appreciate him: focus on the good
How
boring life would be if we were all alike! Here are a few tips on how
to blend your unique qualities to form a strong partnership:
Emphasize his strengths Take inventory of your mate’s good qualities and let him know you appreciate what he brings to the relationship.
Share a project Select
a project that you can work on together (home improvements or
gardening, for example) and work together from start to finish.
Accomplish something you can both enjoy as a couple.
Ask his advice Tap
into his perspective on a situation you are struggling with. He will
appreciate you asking for his thoughts, and you’ll get to see his
thoughtful side.
Dr. Stephanie Buehler is a psychologist, sex therapist and relationship expert. She is director of the Buehler Institute, in Irvine.