Say ‘I love you’
Without speaking a word

Sometimes people complain that their spouse doesn’t say “I love you” often enough. That got me thinking: “Does a partner always have to say the words aloud to show love and affection?” I think not! And it’s easier to do than you might imagine.        
Here are nine ways to tell your spouse you love him, without saying a word:

1. Use your eyes. It’s easy when you’re busy and distracted to literally lose focus on your partner. When your partner speaks, even if it isn’t directly at you, look at him or her. And if the mood is right, you can use your eyes to flirt, too!

2. Use your hands. Touch is the most underrated form of communication. Make an agreement with your partner to share touch for the sake of touch. Then use simple touch, like putting your hand on your partner’s for reassurance, to express love.

3. Have a signal. When you’re at that endless kiddy party together, things will seem much brighter if you have a hand signal to say, “I love you.” You could point a finger to your heart from across the room, give a “thumbs up” sign or have a funny wave. A hand signal is a quick, easy, nonverbal way to let your partner know you’re thinking about him.

4. Thoughts of forgiveness. Everybody makes mistakes. Unfortunately, when the person you love makes a blunder, he can be the hardest one to forgive. Try to have compassion for your partner. Think “forgiveness,” instead of “resentment.”

5. Send a gift. Does your partner like a certain kind of Hawaiian coffee? Peppermint taffy? A special author? Go online to purchase and send a gift. There’s no need to put in a card – let your partner guess who bought it. Hopefully, he’ll know right away that it’s you!

6. Buy a treat. Next time you go to the market, the drugstore or the coffee shop, buy your partner a treat. A bottle of wine, a new mug, a coveted magazine or a fragrant lotion can be great ways to speak love, without a word.

7. Do a favor. Pick up the dry cleaning. Take the car through the car wash. Buy a birthday card for his mother. Do this without mention for extra bonus points.

8. Donate. Pledge time, money or involvement to a cause you both believe in to bring you closer in a completely different way.

9. Sleep. Let your partner snooze in bed for an extra hour or two. Make coffee. Put out reading material with a breakfast treat. Now that’s love!


Pucker up!
7 greatkisses

> Inside a sleeping bag
> Outside in a rainstorm
> Smooch for one minute
> On the neck, from behind
> Share a strawberry, lip to lip
> Try it while slow-dancing
> By candlelight

Dr. Stephanie Buehler is a licensed psychologist, sex therapist and relationship expert. She is director of the Buehler Institute in Irvine. Learn more at thebuehlerinstitute.com.