EVERYTHING
FOR YOUR FAMILY
KID
QUIPS
During last July’s 5.8 earthquake, 3-year-old Bronwyn told her 1-year-old sister, “We’re going for a wiggle.” READ MORE
Teen Years
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Ah, parents are wonderful people. They make sacrifices every day for my sister and me. They give us unconditional protection and care and do everything in their power to provide for us, make us happy and ensure that we grow up to be upstanding members of the community. I know this and I love them for it. It seems only logical, then, that as a sign of our love and gratitude, we in return fulfill certain expectations and uphold certain responsibilities in appreciation of their immeasurable parental efforts. But let's be realistic. There comes a point when parents just expect too much from us. I can only speak from personal experience, but it seems that especially among a growing portion of high-achieving students, parent expectations have become outrageous and sometimes even destructive. Now, I am not talking about disagreements about how many chores we should do or how clean our rooms should be or how nice we should be to our sisters. Here, parents have free reign and rightly so. I am referring to achievement expectations. In this increasingly competitive age, it is becoming more common that parents are pushing their kids to the brink, both in athletic and academic arenas. Here's a quiz to see if your parents fall into that category. When you aren't playing well in athletics, your parents: A. Yell at you constantly from the sidelines and, after the game, lecture you in the car all the way home about all the mistakes you made. B. Shout a few brief words of encouragement from the sidelines and after the game, point out specific plays where you could have made better decisions. C. Smile complacently the entire time and afterwards tell you how snazzy you looked in your uniform. When you bring home a bad grade, your parents: D. Go ballistic and say how all their efforts have been wasted because now you won't be able to get into a respectable college E. Sit down with you, discuss what resulted in the low grade and strategize steps to prevent it from happening again. F. Give you $40 to help you overcome your grief by spending some time at the mall. After all, they don't want to hurt your sensitive feelings. When your parents see that other students have much more accomplished extracurricular and academic activities than your own, they: G. Become frantic and then belittle you by evaluating your achievements in comparison to those of other students. H. Independently weigh your abilities and strengths and then decide whether or not they should impose rules to push you into becoming more involved or academically focused. I. Tell you that it doesn't matter because you are better-looking than everyone else anyway. If you came up with A, D, or G answer choices, it is time to have a serious discussion with your parents. The first step is to plan out in your head what your concerns are and how you will voice them. Allot some family time after dinner without any interruptions and be sure to approach the situation with a clear and open mind. The more mature you act and responsibility you accept, the better chance you have of making a connection with them and forming a mutual understanding. If you act like a blameless victim or an all-knowing prodigy, you can hope to only exacerbate the situation. Your parents want the best for you; whether they know what's best for you or not is an entirely different issue. Rajiv Bhuta is a student at Troy High School in Fullerton. |
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