EVERYTHING
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A few months back, I went to see “Troy” starring Brad Pitt. If you’ve ever seen Brad Pitt without a shirt on, you understand why my girlfriends and I were really, really looking forward to this movie. Now, I don’t get much time to myself, with single parenting and work and all. So going to this movie was a big deal. Just the idea of sitting in one spot without moving for a few hours (I think it’s called relaxing), eating hot, buttery popcorn which should be its own food group and escaping into a story some other overworked writer had written tilted my happiness meter. No sooner had the Greeks clashed with the Trojans when… “Whaaaaaaa!” A child cried out of nowhere. I’m not a history buff, but I’m fairly certain children weren’t allowed on the battlefield in Greek mythology. This was definitely an inside job. Indeed. It was a young girl, around 2, sitting with her parents in the front row, her continuous wails drawing more attention than Brad’s brawn. Honestly, there should be bouncers in theaters. The crowd squirmed and mumbled. We waited for these parents to do the right thing and take this obviously unhappy child to the lobby. But they were indifferent and didn’t budge. And my blood started to boil. People, what are you thinking, bringing kids to R-rated movies? You should have your parenting license yanked! Not only is it inconsiderate and rude (especially during Brad’s love scenes) to everyone else who did the right thing and hired babysitters so they could relax, without kids, at an adult movie. But it’s child abuse! Children should be at home sleeping peacefully at 9 p.m., not watching Greeks and Trojans shish-kebab one another with swords. My disgust for these parents is visceral. I have the same feeling when I pull up alongside another car and see children jumping around in the back seat without seat belts on. I’m tempted to scream out the window to the negligent parent, “WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?” Last week at a comedy club, I was shocked to see a boy, about 10, in the audience. The comedian made reference to almost every body part imaginable, peppered with profanity. And this young pup was riveted. Why would his parents expose him to such trash? What were THEY thinking? My friend attempted a lame explanation, “Kids are exposed to a lot worse on TV.” Isn’t that precisely the point? Aren’t parents being derelict in their duty if they’re letting kids watch MTV, listen to adult humor, ride in the car without seat belts or go to R-rated movies? Parents, next time you decide to save a few babysitting bucks and expose us to your children’s untimely tantrums, and worse, subject them to the graphic sex and violence of an R-rated movie, ask yourself the big question, “What AM I thinking?” Senior Writer Lynn Armitage has programmed Child Protective Services into her speed dial. |
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