EVERYTHING
FOR YOUR FAMILY
Single Parenthood
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Oh, the love of money. We never seem to get enough of it, especially single parents. After the dust from divorce settles, there are dreams to tweak, financial adjustments to make. The word “downsize” looms large as we learn to live with less. A woman’s standard of living after divorce drops 45 percent, says Divorce.com. Trips to Wal-Mart replace sprees at Nordstrom. Going to the movies means renting from Blockbuster. Even ordering pizza seems extravagant. But honestly, isn’t all this penny-pinching worth it? While money doesn’t buy happiness, giving up the need for it does. When I was married, I was a pampered, stay-at-home mom with sweater sets and a tennis club membership. Life was good. But I was miserable. Now, post-divorce, my children and I live in a smaller house on a tighter budget, and we couldn’t be happier. While I’m still dependent on support payments, I’m working toward that day when I won’t have to be. But I’d better step on it. This year, part of my support package runs out. When I’m done hyperventilating, I plan to take action. The operative word being “plan,” says Kathleen Stayberg, a financial representative with Northwestern Mutual Financial Network. A single mom herself, she strongly urges other single parents to “be as financially independent as possible. Any income from child or spousal support is never guaranteed and subject to change.” The frightening reality is, many single parents depend on child support every month “just to get by.” Some would be homeless without it. That’s why a contingency plan is vital. But making more money translates to longer work hours and less time with your children. Therein lies the conundrum and a major source of inertia. And what about the future? Life insurance, retirement plans, college expenses, living trusts. Staying in a loveless marriage doesn’t seem so bad in retrospect, does it? But before you do something you’ll regret, like reuniting with the ex, take a money management class. It puts life in perspective and helps organize priorities. I’ve taken the same class twice (it’s free!), “Smart Women Finish Rich,” based on David Bach’s best-selling book, taught by Pamela Adams, a financial consultant with A.G. Edwards and Sons in Irvine. Adams says, “Learn to live on less than you make and you’ll be able to pay yourself first.” The good news is, there really is enough money. It’s just “finding out what matters most and aligning financial behaviors to it.” What really matters is giving my kids opportunities I didn’t have. But to be a junior tennis champion or play Carnegie Hall costs a bundle in lessons. Money’s tight and sometimes potential goes unrealized. That makes me sad. “Don’t let guilt cause you to spend money on things you can’t afford,” Adams says. “The greatest gift we can give our kids is our love and our time.” Look around, gather perspective. You already have so much: food, shelter, and the love of your children, family and friends. These are life’s real essentials. Lynn Armitage feels like the richest woman in the world with two wonderful, healthy children. |
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