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During last July’s 5.8 earthquake, 3-year-old Bronwyn told her 1-year-old sister, “We’re going for a wiggle.” READ MORE
Single Parenthood
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By a show of hands, how many single parents out there live within a budget? Uh-huh, just as I thought. Money is the root of much anxiety, so we’d rather not think about it, let alone plan for it, right? As long as the child-support checks come in, we’re just happy to get through another day with enough money for gas and a hot meal for our kids. Fortunately, by the grace of God, we’ve made it this far on an I-still-have-checks-so-I-can’t-be-broke mentality. But now it’s time to get real. Time to face an aspect of single parenthood even more frightening than cranky family law judges and lonely Saturday nights: Living within our means. Even though our lives have been turned upside down by divorce, and change has been forced upon us in many ways, single parents don’t want to face the reality that money isn’t going to be flowing in like it used to when we were married. So we continue to overspend. Denial is a dangerous mindset; it’s one of the biggest mistakes single parents make, says Violet Woodhouse, a family law attorney in Newport Beach and expert in the financial and tax aspects of divorce. “People have had a significant change in their relationship, but they don’t want to change anything else. They’re unwilling to adjust their lifestyle and spending patterns.” So, we get into debt very quickly. We run up credit cards and gobble up savings. (“Oh, I’ll reimburse that account later.” Sound familiar?) We even take out equity lines of credit. A big – yet common – mistake, says Woodhouse: “It’s scary when you start eating up your own wealth just to maintain your lifestyle.” OK, we’ve licked our divorce wounds long enough and commiserated with friends over one too many expensive lattes. It’s time to get real about our new life and create a budget – priority No. 1 according to Woodhouse. “Get a handle on your expenses. Don’t underestimate them. And don’t forget the small things,” such as auto repairs, medical costs and child care. Once you’ve added up your expenses, subtract that from your income AFTER taxes. That number staring at you, however large or small, is what you have left every month to spend as you please. Can you really afford another latte? Then there’s child support. Yes, most single parents would be homeless without it. But it’s a false sense of security. If the ex lost his job or became disabled, the checks would stop immediately. Woodhouse says the sooner we can become less dependent on child support, the better. “That level of dependency puts you at risk. Whenever you’re financially connected (to the ex), you’re at risk.” As for investments, Woodhouse has these words of wisdom: “Don’t take care of the future until you take care of today.” Once you have six months of monthly expenses saved up, she says, only then should you look toward the future and consider investing. Violet Woodhouse can be reached at 949.640.8861 or by e-mail: Violet@vpwlaw.com. Senior Writer Lynn Armitage has some serious numbers to crunch. |
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