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After being awakened by a call from her mother late one evening last July, Julie Fine quickly got on the Internet to book a flight to Phoenix. A fireman had been at the house and taken her dad, her mother explained. But it wasn’t the unknown surrounding her father’s condition that caused the greatest alarm; it was the safety of her mother. “I flipped out because I knew she couldn’t be alone,” she says. “I didn’t know for sure what was wrong with my dad. But if a fireman had him, he was on his way to a hospital.” At 6:45 a.m. the following morning, the Laguna Niguel resident departed from John Wayne Airport leaving her husband to tend to their 9-year-old daughter. While caring for an elderly parent and raising young children still at home proves a challenge in itself, the situation becomes more difficult when families are separated by distance. Family members, for example, are unable to quickly reach a loved one in need. Additional logistics must be worked out for the children still at home. And traveling and communicating from a distance can be a huge expense. Despite such challenges, more and more families find themselves in this scenario. According to the American Society of Aging, nearly 7 million Americans, or 3.5 percent of the U.S. adult population, are long-distance caregivers those who live a distance of one hour or more from the older adult needing assistance. The average travel time for these caregivers to reach their relative is 4 hours. As a result of our increased mobility, some elderly adults simply do not want to move. For others, such as Fine’s parents, relocating proves financially unfeasible. Unlike California and other states, Arizona offers a Medicaid-based program that pays for assisted living. So what can families do if they are caught in such a situation? One option, says Blanche S. Katz, a community educator at the Council on Aging of Orange County, is to seek the services of a professional geriatric care manager. “If a mom and dad needed to have a personal care assistant, the professional geriatric care manager would know the local resources and be able to contact them, make the arrangements and get the proper kind of care supervised,” she says. “And then make sure it’s the care mom and dad really need.” Besides reducing the stress upon the adult child, the use of such services in many instances can also decrease the out-of-pocket expenses incurred by caregivers. The cell phone bill alone for Fine and her two brothers, for example, topped $1,100 one month. Add in car rental and airfare fees, along with missed wages, and the amount climbs dramatically. For elderly adults in need of non-medical homecare, agencies such as Comfort Keepers, Home Instead Senior Care and Visiting Angels, all 3 of which have locations nationwide, can bring relief. Staff members ensure that elders are safe, drive them to appointments, help with bathing and personal care. Services are available at some agencies for as little as 3 hours, as needed, to 24-hour care. Families also should have key phone numbers within reach, says Katz. The number for the Eldercare Locator is one (800.677.1116). The informational service provides callers with the telephone number for the closest Area on Aging, where they can call to find out about local resources. She also recommends getting the name and number of a parents’ neighbor to call if a need arises and to give them your number as well. In addition, Katz recommends that caregivers handle one task at a time. “If they are going to make the trip cross-country, or even going from North Orange County to South Orange County, try and plan to do only one thing. Don’t try to do 6 things,” she says. “Now if they come a long distance, they may stay a few days. So again, just try to take one thing on one day, one thing on another day. Don’t try to jam 3 or 4 things in on one day.” Fine’s family, all whom live in different states, took turns looking after her mother while her father recovered from a broken hip. But when it became clear several weeks later that the 84-year-old would no longer be able to care for himself and his wife, Fine and her brothers decided to move their parents into a residential care home. Fine still makes regular trips to Arizona to visit her parents and talks to them on the phone. But she now has peace of mind. “They’re in a place where they are well taken care of,” she says. Sandy Bennett is associate editor. |
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