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While studies show that most seniors are healthy and function at high levels, issues related to their independence are likely to surface as they grow older. Despite this knowledge, adult children of an elderly parent rarely are prepared for the difficult realities that sometimes come with the aging process. Instead, it usually takes some form of crisis a fall, a stroke, a traffic accident or a parent’s inability to find his or her way home to capture one’s attention. “Adult children are generally not well prepared to deal with aging parent issues,” says Ian Wilson, associate director of the Orange Caregiver Resource Center in Fullerton. “In our culture, men and women are generally consumed with work and raising a family. This leaves little time for parents. And we tend to not always want to see our parents as anything else but self-sufficient and independent.” Though the subject can be difficult to broach, elder-care professionals say the best time to prepare is while our parents are still healthy. This allows adult children to carry out a parent’s wishes and helps to reduce stress and rash decisions that often arise when one operates in crisis mode. “Parents and adult children need to talk about the issues. They need to go over the ‘what ifs’ what if I have a heart attack; what if I get Alzheimer’s; what if I fall and break my hip,” says Wilson. “They need to talk about quality of life and finances and where to live, etc.” The Caregiver Resource Center recommends families take the following steps when implementing a plan. (For additional steps, as well as detailed information on each, visit www.caregiverresourcecenter.com.) The Elder’s Wishes and Desires Talk with the elder to learn their feelings related to aging, as well as their wishes and desires as they move forward. It is important to recognize the elder’s right to make their own choices related to their care, even if you don’t agree. Gather Important Information Have the necessities handy in case medical treatment is needed, a crisis occurs, or upon the elder’s death. A sample of the information to collect includes: Social Security and driver license numbers, insurance plans, names of doctors and telephone numbers, medications and dosages, and location of legal papers. Obtain an Assessment Determine the elder’s ability to remain safely independent, along with their strengths, weaknesses and areas of concern. The best way to determine the needs of an elder is through a comprehensive geriatric assessment. The multidimensional diagnostic process evaluates the person’s medical, mental, physical, social, environmental and financial status. Research Community Resources Once the assessment is complete and current needs are clear, research possible family and community resources to meet those needs. Develop a Care Plan Outline an action plan that focuses on the individual’s current situation, required treatment, housing requirements and optimal utilization of community resources. Arrange for Important Legal Documents There are at least four key documents that the elder may wish to discuss with an attorney. A Last Will and Testament outlines how they want their personal property and assets to be dispersed upon their death. A Durable Power of Attorney designates another person to act on their behalf in reference to their legal or financial decisions. A Living Will clarifies issues related to the use of life support systems. And a Medical Power of Attorney assigns an individual to make health care decisions in the event that the elder is unable to make decisions for themselves. Part of being prepared also involves becoming familiar with and staying attuned to the numerous warning signs. (See accompanying sidebar for details.) “Warning signs are meant to be heard and followed,” says Wilson. “Many problems, such as stroke and heart disease, can be avoided or treated successfully if addressed early.” The Orange Caregiver Resource Center, a program of St. Jude Medical Center, can be reached by visiting www.caregiveroc.org or by calling 714.578.8670. Warning signs Do you have an elderly relative who may be in need of some form of assistance? Here are a series of questions to consider when making a determination. Is the person... • experiencing any significant vision, hearing or memory loss? • experiencing any anxiety, depression or phobias? • oriented to time, place and person? • able to read, write and use the telephone without difficulty? • able to use public transportation or arrange to take a cab? • able to perform routine housekeeping tasks? • able to prepare meals and eat regularly? • able to bath independently and dress appropriately? • able to handle their own banking and financial needs? • able to exercise good judgment and make sound decisions? • able to manage their own medications? • able to go shopping for groceries? • able to maintain relationships with family and friends? • able to walk, climb stairs and remain standing? • able to easily and safely get up and down from a chair? • able to remember family names and appointments? • able to safely see and operate appliances? • able to drive? • able to participate in leisure activities? • expressing any issues or concerns? • experiencing a sudden weight loss or gain? • experiencing any bruises or cuts? Source: The Caregiver Resource Center |
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