EVERYTHING
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During last July’s 5.8 earthquake, 3-year-old Bronwyn told her 1-year-old sister, “We’re going for a wiggle.” READ MORE
Mother Knows Best
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If you have daughters, listen up, because I have sons. While our worlds are vastly different today - pink vs. blue; makeup vs. cars; giggling vs. hollering - at some point, and surely before either of us is ready for it, our worlds will be drawn together by that undeniable magnetic force known as dating. And whether you like it or not, you may one day open your front door to find my son standing there, asking for your daughter. Here is what you should know. I have raised my sons to be gentlemen - not an easy task in today's world. When they were little, they'd take pride in remembering to hold the door open for a lady, only to watch her walk past without so much as a nod of thanks. It's hard to bring up raucous boys to be gentlemen with so little positive reinforcement from the objects of their attention. I have taught my sons to respect women and have explained clearly that when your daughter says "No," she means no. They don't view women as objects; rather, they see them as real people with real feelings. They're aware that in any relationship, both parties are equal and have a responsibility to inspire and encourage their partner. In our home, though I'm the only female, they've learned much about women. They've observed my husband and me, how we interact, how we argue, how we support one another. In other words, they've had role models. To use the latest buzzword, we were parenting "intentionally" with the goal of preparing them for a healthy relationship with the opposite sex. In a roundabout way, we also did it for your daughter. Now, here is what I need from you. Resist the urge to indulge in today's sit-com male bashing. Teach your daughters that boys deserve the same respect women have been demanding from men for years. Don't let my son be the butt of jokes in your home (even the one about guys never asking for directions - they only lead to other devaluing commentary). Remind your daughter to be gentle with his heart. I've taught him to do the same with hers. The best advice my own mother gave me on matters of the heart was simple. "Find a man you can respect and one who also respects you." My parents are about to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary and my husband and I are looking toward our 25th. Should my guys ask about the secret to a good relationship, I will offer the words of their wise grandmother. "Respect is the key." So rest assured, when my son shows up at your door, it's safe to let him in. I just hope he'll be safe inside. Kimberly A. Porrazzo is a senior writer for Churm Publishing, Inc. and author of "The Nanny Kit." She lives in Lake Forest with her husband and two teenage sons. She can be reached at: kimberlyporrazzo@cox.net. |
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