But then there were the constant text messages and e-mails sent from my
iPhone, each one greeting the recipient as “Ho” (instead of the
intended “Hi”). Like this: “Ho, what r u doink after you pick up the
kids? Let’s Chik ‘o Lay!” After being accused of going “Irvine Ghetto”
by more than one friend, I thought it was best I hightail it down to
Costco and get my eyes checked.
It was obvious the
optometrist had seen my kind before. After my exam, she said with a
barely containable smirk, “How long have you been unable to see?”
Fumbling around in my purse for gum – by touch of course, not even
bothering to look for it – I finally confessed, “A very, very long
time.” She gave me the Dr. Drew I’m-here-to-help-you-through-this look
and went down the list of all the things wrong with my eyesight – all
the reasons laser surgery or contacts won’t work for my problems – and
then wrote out my prescription and pointed me to the glasses display
next to the big screen TVs and color printers.
I picked out
dark, traditional frames, going for the Wonder Woman’s alter ego (Diana
Prince) look. You remember Linda Carter’s “working girl” with glasses,
tightly bunned hair, and starched white shirt? Really! That was the
look I was going for. I think that makes me pretty immature, no? Which
puts this whole glasses thing in a paradox of me being both very
juvenile and (approaching) middle aged. YAY for me!
Suzanne Broughton is OC Family’s lead mom blogger. Read her blog HERE.
RSS Subscribe
