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Published: June, 2009

Sex education, continued ...


“Children often begin to touch or play with their private parts in toddler-hood,” says Karen Child Ogden, licensed marriage family therapist and co-creator of the “Temptation Series for Tweens.” “It’s a good opportunity to talk with children about their bodies, about how touching makes them feel and what the family values and beliefs about sexuality are, including masturbation.”
   
As children mature, sex-related questions emerge; parents often assume the worst and panic. Remember to provide the amount of information based on the child’s maturity and curiosity level.
   
“Don’t pour a pitcher-full of information into a teaspoon of inquiry,” says Ogden.
   
“If they ask about something, ask them first what they see or think, and then respond,” says Ingersoll. “By doing so, you’ll understand where the child’s mindset is.”
   
Aside from child inquiries, parents need to seek opportunities to initiate informative conversations. Bring up a pregnant family member or use driving and television time to create a comfortable setting for sex talks without uncomfortable formalities.
   
Parents must take the first step and be direct during sex education.
   
“It’s important to foster communicative relationships, especially with pre-teens from age 8 to 12 years,” says Ingersoll. Participating in intimate discussions furthers the parent/child relationship and eliminates false information.
   
“There is no drawback with educating our kids about their bodies and about sex,” continues Ogden. “By doing so, we open communication, build relationships of trust and arm them for future relationships.” This is especially important in today’s sexualized techno-culture; misleading information can be attained at the click of a mouse.
   
“The benefits of discussing sex is that they’re being educated by you,” says Ingersoll. If parents avoid the discussions, children often attain misconceptions from their peers and the media.
   
Although it’s a common concern, demystifying sex does not encourage sexual activity. “This unfortunate thought process could not be further from reality,” says Schulz.
   
“It is a myth that talking with your kids about sex will make them more curious and more likely to engage in early sexual activity,” agrees Ogden. “We need to be the first to give them information so that they will develop healthy attitudes and expectations about sex.”