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You're sitting on the sofa and your 13-year-old son plops down inches from you. An acrid odor reminiscent of a school locker room permeates the air. As you look at him, you notice a festering zit in the middle of his chin. He then greets you with a squeaky "hi." What happened to that angelic-looking child you used to dote over from babyhood through elementary school? In no time your son metamorphosed from being cute to downright repugnant. The transition from child to teenager is not an easy one. Many of us harbor are own painful memories of the horrific physical and emotional changes that accompanied adolescence. Most of us managed to get through these years unscathed. Yet we recall such vivid memories; we know these were traumatic times. "Showing empathy for your child is essential during this period," says Dr. Harvey Triebwasser, director of adolescent services at Children's Hospital of Orange County. "Many kids are both embarrassed and afraid of the changes they're experiencing, and parents play an important role in helping them get through this period." Puberty can start between the ages of 8 and 13 for girls and about one to two years later (between 9 and 14) for boys. Triebwasser stresses that there are wide variations among children since everyone goes through puberty at his own rate. Still, there are basic changes that take place as boys and girls enter adolescence. Although some children and even their parents may consider these developments to be unpleasant, it's important to remember that many of these are only temporary. Acne About 80 percent of teenagers have some form of acne, which occurs during hormonal changes. "It's important to remember that acne is normal and does not develop because a kid is eating a certain type of food or has bad hygiene," says Triebwasser. Many teens with acne continually over-cleanse their faces, which actually aggravates acne by forcing more sebum (skin oil) into the tissue. In treating acne, teens can use over-the-counter topical creams that contain benzoyl peroxide, which help keep pores open. The medicine tretinoin is often used for treating whiteheads and blackheads. Children who participate in sports should make sure that helmets, headbands and other equipment are not applying too much pressure in areas that are prone to acne breakouts. For more severe inflammation, antibiotics may be prescribed to prevent the formation of new acne. Doctors stress that scratching and squeezing pimples can lead to scarring that sometimes becomes permanent. Growing bodies Adolescents experience unprecedented growth rates, sometimes adding 10 pounds, as well as 2-3 inches, a year. Most parents start recognizing this when their teenager's shoes constantly need to be replaced before they are worn out. At the same time, not every part of a child grows at the same rate. Hands and feet will grow faster than arms and legs and the backbone grows slower than other bones, which makes some teenagers look gangly. Growth spurts that usually take place between the seventh and 10th grades account for the clumsiness and lack of fine motor skills that many teenagers face. Due to this rapid growth rate, some preteens are supersensitive about their changing appearances. For girls, no issue looms larger than the issue of weight. "Girls need to understand that it's perfectly normal to have some extra padding," says Triebwasser. Adolescents also should realize that bodies come in all shapes and sizes instead of the flawless body images they see on television or in fashion magazines. Due to the rise in eating disorders in the past 25 years, parents should consult with a doctor if their child is dieting excessively, over-exercising or seems depressed. As some children enter adolescence, they prefer to stop going to a pediatrician. According to Triebwasser, parents should ask their child if they would like to see a physician for adults or possibly a physician who works in an adolescent specialty clinic, such as the one at CHOC, which provides a full spectrum of medical services for teenagers. Body odor Many preteens start to experience perspiration and body odor as the apocrine sweat glands under the arms and the groin become more active. The sweat from these glands has no role in temperature regulation. Instead, it is released in response to stress, emotion and sexual excitement. Given the confused emotional state of most adolescents, can you blame them for sweating so much? To prevent this problem, children should take a shower or bath daily and should use a deodorant or antiperspirant. Mood swings Trading childhood for adulthood is an unnerving experience for many preteens, causing a flurry of emotions. The hormones that stimulate and accompany puberty also cause mood fluctuations. One minute your teen can be on the top of the world and a short while later they are sulking about some trivial matter. "Parents should not get overwrought when their child is experiencing one of these emotional fits, but at the same time they should try to be empathetic listeners to help keep communication lines open," says Triebwasser. Even though parents can accept mood swings as a normal behavior, they should let their children know that they are responsible for their own feelings. For example, a child may be allowed to feel cranky, but he should not take out those feelings on parents or siblings. Parents also can help their children work through these feelings in a variety of ways. Some kids may need time alone listening to music or writing in a journal, while others may need to ride a skateboard or shoot baskets. With so many changes occurring so fast, it's easy to understand why many teenagers are filled with fear and doubt. Yet it is also a time when many children who crave independence choose to pull away from their parents. Experts stress that even though they may not show it, teenagers crave emotional contact from their parents. "The best thing a parent can do to help their kids at this age is to spend time talking to them," says Triebwasser. "By being there for them emotionally, a parent provides the stability and reassurance they need when they're feeling frightened about growing up." Carol Daus is a freelance writer who lives in Huntington Beach with her husband and three children. |
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