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During last July’s 5.8 earthquake, 3-year-old Bronwyn told her 1-year-old sister, “We’re going for a wiggle.” READ MORE
Middle Years (7-12)
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Winning them over BEFORE they begin Daytime might be a little quieter around your house since the children went back to school, but in many households it only takes a couple of pages of math homework to turn a peaceful kitchen into a war zone during the afternoon hours. A typical scenario: He wants help; you don’t want to just give him the answers. As you try to offer an explanation, you’re met with the very appreciative, “That’s not the way my teacher does it,” or my personal favorite, “They don’t do it like that anymore, mom!” Frustration, hurt feelings, confusion and anxiety add up to a lethal environment and it’s only time before someone’s going to blow. The combination can be even more explosive during upper elementary years, or the first year of middle school, when children are introduced to even heavier work loads. So how do you keep things calm around your home when homework starts heating up? Create a plan for success before the problems start. “Setting up strategies that become habits is not only an important skill when it comes to homework, but it’s something that will be valuable throughout life, in college, business and other issues,” says Trevor Romain, author of “How To Do Your Homework Without Throwing Up.” According to Romain, the first thing every family should do is help their child develop a homework plan. The same way you schedule soccer, baseball, music lessons, or other after-school activities, your child should develop a routine for doing homework. This plan should include a specific place to work each day, a set amount of time to get the work done and a light snack before getting started. Sit down before school gets into full swing and help your child outline his own plan. You may also want to set up a “homework corner” that’s stocked with school supplies and ready to go. Just as an athlete gets into the game once he steps onto the field, ideally, getting homework done will become second nature once your child settles into a routine. Using a timer to keep your child on track is another tactic that may help, offers fourth-grade teacher Ross Modlin. At the upper elementary grades, children shouldn’t have more than one hour of homework, (not including reading time,) so why not break it up into manageable segments? For example, tell your child to set the timer for 20 minutes and when it goes off, return to check his work. While you’re reviewing, he can take a quick break, get up and stretch, or even grab a glass of water. Make the effort to check his work closely too, says Modlin. That way, you can identify any mistakes before he’s too far along, and take advantage of the opportunity to offer a little heartfelt praise when he’s doing something right. Teach your child to tackle the hardest assignments first. Rather than putting off the inevitable and growing more anxious about an assignment he’s not sure of, encourage him to work on the most challenging piece while he’s freshest. It’s less daunting and makes the rest of the work seem easy. (This is a lifelong lesson that not only works on homework, but many other situations as well.) Determine if your child really knows what she’s doing. “Students often think they know how to do something, until they try to do it,” says Dr. Lauren Meggison of Cambridge Tutoring and Test Prep in Laguna Beach. “Before you get into an argument about the homework, show your student how to do a representative part of it, or have your child show you,” she suggests. Do your own “homework” at the same time they do. Even if you’re not in school, you can be a positive role model when it comes to doing homework by sitting down to pay bills, balance the checkbook, or complete that registration form you’ve had tucked away. You’re showing your child that good work habits will always come in handy. If homework battles seem to be something that the two of you just can’t avoid, you may want to consider “de-emotionalizing” the situation by bringing in a neutral third party, like a trusted teacher, tutor, or family friend, until things get back on track, offers Meggison. Professional educators often also have the benefit of “tricks” or “shortcuts” that may help your child pick things up more easily. Finally, and this may be harder for you than it is for your child, let your child face the consequences if he doesn’t get the work done. Staying in for a recess, missing out on a special activity at school, or being embarrassed in class is a natural consequence related to unfinished homework. And it’s one lesson they will hopefully learn something from. Here’s to a year of quiet afternoons and happy homework hours at your house. They say, as a parent, you need to pick your battles. Hopefully, homework won’t be one of them.m Michele Piazzoni is a regular contributor. |
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