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She’s got her hair cut, a new outfit, and maybe even a special treat in her lunch box. She also carries butterflies to the first day of school. Don’t worry, a little bit of nervousness is natural. The excitement of meeting a new teacher, reconnecting with old friends, and just thinking about all the possibilities the new school year may hold is enough to even shake down parents. “There’s always a little bit of anxiety and excitement,” says Dr. John Brady of the California Association of School Psychologists. “Questions like, what’s my teacher going to be like? Or, who’s going to be in my class? show normal and reasonable excitement and apprehension. And these are very common in children right up through the high school years.” If you are worried that back-to-school anxieties are taking a bite of this special time in your child’s life, here are ideas you can use to help ease the worries and get things off to a fun start. Get back on schedule It’s best to try to transition your child from a summer schedule to a school schedule about two weeks before school starts. If you haven’t done so already, curtail nighttime activities and get your child to bed at an hour that still allows him a solid 9-10 hours of sleep. “A lack of sleep may cause a child who’s already a bit of a worrier to worry even more,” warns Brady. Plan something special One way to distract your child is to plan a special outing one day afterwards. A trip for ice cream, an early matinee, or a dinner out with the whole family can give your child something to look forward to and help her get through uncertain moments of those early days. Tune in Listening to your child’s concerns or apprehension about school is not only important, but it may help you discern the true source of your child’s worries. Last year, my daughter Allison went to school having heard rumors that her teacher was the strictest in the school. She immediately liked the teacher, and in talking to her it became apparent that what she was really upset about were the negative comments from friends. It was an opportune moment to point out other times when her friends had worried her needlessly and encourage her to develop her own opinions based on fact rather than rumor. Let them settle in If you’re concerned that your child is not happy in her new class, give it at least a week or two before you jump in, advises Brady. “A new classroom situation can look very unstable the first couple of days, and then a child settles in and forgets all about it,” he says. Friendly advice Although peer groups usually remain stable over summer break, if your child comes home after the first day of school and says that the friends were now making fun of her or something similar, it’s just another opportunity to sit down and do some more listening. “Too many parents give advice before they get a full sense of what happened,” says Brady. Before you offer up any pearls of wisdom, ask questions like, “Is there anything you can do tomorrow that would help you get along with these kids?” If that doesn’t seem to be a way to resolve the newfound differences, encourage your child to seek out new friends. Connect with other parents Starting a new school year without friends can be a big source of anxiety for many children, so if that’s your child’s situation don’t let it linger, advises Brady. If your child hasn’t connected with a peer after a few weeks of school, try to move things along from the sidelines. In other words, reach out to a family you already know to arrange a play date, or better yet, ask your child’s teacher to suggest a classmate she thinks would get along well with your child. Sports organizations, church groups and other extracurricular activities can be an additional avenue for your child to meet others. Once they enjoy a little interaction with their teacher and get back into the recess routine, the average child overcomes any back-to-school anxieties within a few days, says Brady. But about 1-2% may still be losing sleep, not eating or refusing to go to school after two weeks, in which case he suggests contacting your school to schedule an appointment with a counselor or psychologist. “When you talk to most kids, they’ve had enough of summer vacation and they want to get back to school at least until the reality of homework sets in!” Michele Piazzoni of Folsom is a regular contributor. |
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