EVERYTHING
FOR YOUR FAMILY
Middle Years
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If you walk into a Best Buy, it's hard to believe the economy is weak. What you'll see are children buying CDs, DVDs, MP3 players, video games or any electronic toy that money can buy. Raised in an affluent age and targeted by a dizzying array of media messages, American children spend more than $166 billion a year on merchandise and directly influence a sizable amount of purchases their parents buy. It's not enough to have a few decent outfits, an older PlayStation set and a boom box with a handful of CDs. Today's child needs expensive designer duds, the latest video game unit and a CD burner to complement their high-tech stereo system. You also could add Disneyland season passes and their own PC with high-speed Internet access to the wants of many Orange County kids. How do parents handle this constant pressure of rampant commercialism? Joan Mueller of Aliso Viejo says it is an ongoing struggle trying to help her two children, ages 9 and 11, understand that material possessions need to be earned, not purchased impulsively. "My kids, like most of their friends, want things now - not later," she says. According to Roberta Berns, a UC Irvine lecturer in child psychology and social behavior and author of "Child, Family, School, Community," stresses that one of the biggest challenges for parents in today's consumer-oriented society is children's constant nagging for various products. That behavior goes against what parents know is appropriate. "Parents recognize that they need to raise their kids to delay gratification, yet the pressure to purchase all these exciting toys and electronic products runs counter to that," says Berns. Most parents find that saying "no" to "I want it" is actually more difficult than getting their children to clean their rooms or do homework. The other challenge is that peer pressure is an underlying cause of this obsession with shopping and spending. Berns says that in many cases, children do not care as much about the specific outfit or toy as they do about being liked by their peers. "If parents dig a little deeper, they often learn that their child is really concerned about being popular or fitting in with a specific group and that certain material possessions make them feel accepted," she says. Berns points out that an effective, yet idealistic, strategy would be for parents to band together either from school, church or their community organization to establish spending guidelines. "As a group, parents could also help their children participate in alternative activities that would enable them to grow inside," Berns says. Volunteering as a family or as part of a greater community organization is an excellent way to shed new perspective on material well-being. Dr. Cathryn Tobin, a Toronto-based pediatrician, mother of four and author of "The Parent's Problem Solver," stresses that the most powerful lessons about materialism come from how parents conduct their own lives. "Parents should think about their own style of relating to material goods. Do they buy treats when they're feeling blue or the latest electronic gadgets even if they have all they need?" she asks. If clothes from last year still don price tags or exercise equipment is still resting unused in the house, the parent is probably modeling poor consumer behavior. Berns adds that it's a parent's job to help children understand the basics of budgeting. "The bottom line is that parents need to be involved to help their children respond to consumerism in a healthy way. Allowances should be used and children should be taught how to plan and budget for their purchases." Parameters also should be set so the child understands how the money should be spent. As Berns points out, just like you wouldn't give a child a refrigerator stocked with junk food and let them eat anything they want from it, you also shouldn't provide an allowance and let them spend it entirely as they please. Carol Daus is a freelance-writer who lives in Huntington Beach with her husband and three children. She can be reached at cdauswrite@socal.rr.com. Beat the shopping habit 1. Give your kids an allowance. Children can learn the value of money by saving up for something they want. 2. Learn to say no. Your child does not have to buy a new pack of Yu-Gi-Oh cards every week. 3. Donate old toys to a local charity. Kids will learn that there are children who are less fortunate living in their own community. 4. Keep your children active. Help your children develop their passion - whether it's soccer, piano or chess. They will be less distracted by material possessions. |
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