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Most children ages 10 and older will tell you that one of their favorite pastimes is chatting online. Sounds harmless, but is it? Just last February, a Tucson man was arrested in Fullerton while waiting to pick up a 13-year-old girl who met him on the Internet. In December, a former UC Irvine honors student was convicted and sentenced in the rape and torture of a 15-year-old girl from Orange who met him in an Internet chat room. In 2002, the murder of a 13-year-old girl made national news after it was learned that she met her murderer after instant messaging him on the Web. While these are more extreme cases, there are countless incidents in which children use the Internet to mock and humiliate classmates. The availability of picture phones has even resulted in compromising photos of students in school locker rooms or restrooms being mass e-mailed to their peers. "Parents cannot afford to treat their child's chatting on the Internet like other hobbies, such as Pokeman or baseball in which they don't really have to know much about these particular activities," says Andrew Goodrich, a detective with the Fullerton Police Department. "Parents must educate themselves about what's really going on in chat rooms and must be aware of how their child is using the Internet." As increasing numbers of children are gaining access to the Web, Internet safety will take on greater importance. A 2001 national survey by the University of New Hampshire of regular Internet users ages 10 to 17 found that nearly 1-in-5 had received an unwanted sexual solicitation in the past year. Furthermore, a 2003 study revealed that law enforcement agencies reported 1,000 arrests over a one-year period of adults suspected of cyber-sex crimes against children. The problem for many parents is that even if they use computers at work or at home, they may be unfamiliar with the intricacies of socializing via the Internet. Most parents are in the dark when it comes to chat rooms, instant messaging, and web blogs. To help parents understand the potential problems with Internet usage, organizations such as i-SAFE America, a Carlsbad-based federally funded safety foundation, conducts free school assemblies and presentations for parent groups. Many police departments hold similar programs. Coleen Walloch, community services officer, Laguna Beach Police Department, has noticed growing interest from parents and schools regarding Internet safety classes. Since police officers are authoritative figureheads, children often respond better to their presentations than parents' lectures. "The most important thing I stress to kids is to never give out any personal information over the Internet," she says. "Once children understand that the consequences can be deadly, they are a lot more careful about their actions." In her presentations, Walloch has the children sign a pledge that they bring home. Parents then make sure their child adheres to the pledge's rules, which includes: • I will tell my parents right away if I come across any information that makes me feel uncomfortable. • I will never agree to get together with someone I 'meet' online without first checking with my parents. • I will not respond to any messages that are mean or in any way make me feel uncomfortable. Other rules can be found online at safekids.com/kidsrules.htm. To help monitor a child's online activities, Goodrich recommends the use of software that not only blocks access to inappropriate material but also regularly sends e-mails to their parents on everything the child does online. Some of these include Net Nanny, Spector Pro 5.0, eBlaster and KeyLog Pro. Goodrich stresses that one of the biggest problems is that many children are unaware of the tricks predators use to lure them into relationships. "The Internet is the ultimate costume ball, because you never know who's behind the mask," he says. "It allows the user to always put their best foot forward by hiding all their frailties and faults, and they can make themselves sound completely different than they really are, such as being younger than their true age or even male when they're female." In trying to form a common bond with the child, most predators will exchange information about shared hobbies or passions, such as rock bands or sports teams. This prompts the child to communicate freely with them on a long-term basis. It's ironic that even though parents for years lecture their young children about the dangers of confronting strangers on the streets, these same parents are often unaware of their child's online heart-to-heart talks with strangers. Carol Daus is a freelance writer who lives in Huntington Beach with her husband and 3 children. Internet safety tips • Know who's on your child's buddy list. Have them print out of a copy of the list and identify how they know these people. • Make sure your child does not include information on instant profiles that could reveal identities. • Keep the computer in a centralized room in your house - not in their bedroom. • Communicate with your child about the potential dangers. • Set strict time limits for Internet chatting and enforce them. For more information: isafe.org or www.netsmartz.org. The Orange County Sheriff's Department offers an Internet safety course for parents. Call 714.647.7490. |
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