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During last July’s 5.8 earthquake, 3-year-old Bronwyn told her 1-year-old sister, “We’re going for a wiggle.” READ MORE
Mother Knows Best
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No one is home. The house is quiet. There are dozens of things I could be doing, or, in truth, should be doing. Laundry: always laundry. Dusting: It’s been way too long. Instead, I’m distracted by the novelty of the silence, acutely aware that all 1,800 square feet of this house are, for the moment, mine alone. It’s an odd sensation, this seductive solitude, and one that all mothers, at some point, long for. Admittedly, new moms don’t begin craving their own space for a few months. They’re happy to respond to every whimper and almost flattered that whatever it is they have, their baby wants. The two are so connected that being apart is actually painful. But at some point, maybe it’s the sleepless nights, maybe it’s the lack of adult conversation, but at some point, even new moms join in the quest for seclusion. We wish for moments in which we can walk through the house, doing this or that, without having one ear tuned to the activity in the next room, or without someone toddling after us. When little fingers reach desperately under the bathroom door, it’s apparent just how few moments you have to yourself. Being physically available to your kids is one thing, but when you realize that your darlings also own your mind you can’t even finish a thought, let alone a sentence that’s when solitary confinement sounds like a welcome retreat. It happens to fathers, too, though they do alone time offsite. “I have to go to the hardware store,” my husband would say when our boys were little. “When you get back, I have to go to the grocery store,” I’d reply, having caught on to his strategy. My theory is that parents with small kids actually drive the economy. Because we’re not able to own up to our need to just get away, we make excuses to slip out alone and, of course, have to return home with a bag of something or other to justify the trip. But it’s when your mate takes the kids with them that they score bonus points. Home alone and caught up in the ecstasy of all possibilities, I’d often walk around in circles, wasting away the solitude while deciding the best way to spend these rare moments. Should I read? Maybe a long bath. Ahhh, a nap. Inevitably, by the time I decide, I hear the car door slam as my noisy family returns. “Did you miss us?” my boys ask. “Yes,” I say honestly, followed by, “Honey…I’ll be right back. We’re out of milk.” Senior Writer Kimberly A. Porrazzo can be reached at kimberlyporrazzo@cox.net. For Letters: ocfamily.com |
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