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It is everywhere, like multiple leaks in a dike: no matter how many fingers parents use to plug the holes, the subject reappears. It, of course, is sex. And families, and their children, appear overwhelmed by the message, like the customer at a magazine rack haplessly looking for something more Disneyesque and less in your face. So it is little surprise that many girls are only 9 years old when they start Girls Inc.’s four-part program on preventing adolescent pregnancy. While this may seem a bit young for some parents to begin talking to children about values related to sexuality and relationships, the Costa Mesa-based, nonprofit agency is right on cue. For many, the message is just in time. Girls and boys today not only need to hear messages about sex at an early age, they also require much more than a lesson about the birds and bees in order to counter the massive amounts of received mixed messages. “Bad” means good and “good” has lost its definition. “We’re competing against a very difficult backdrop of our current pop culture television and what kids see and observe all the time,” says David Souleles of the Orange County Health Care Agency, Public Health Department. “And that’s a real powerful set of messages to have to contend with and to work against.” Today’s backdrop comes with role models such as pop star Britney Spears, whose dress and style of dance young girls seek to emulate, and former President Bill Clinton, who sent the message to hundreds of thousands of cynical youth that oral copulation is OK because, he stipulated, it’s not sex. The landscape is further colored by popular television shows, such as “Sex in the City.” These days, pornography is easily sent and viewed via the Internet footage of group sex, violent sex and porn sites specifically dedicated to sexual encounters among teens sending a gruesome message of what our society now condones. “Society really provides mixed messages,” says Souleles. “There’s one thing at home, another thing in the school or another thing in the church. We may say one thing as adults, but do something completely differently as adults.” The effects of these messages, along with a number of other factors, can be seen in the sexual practices and terms used by preteens and teens today. Girls who choose to have sex, for example, are doing so at a younger age and often provide the prompt as the aggressor. The building of a relationship through courtship is becoming a quaint memory. Date rape is now commonly referred to as acquaintance rape. And hooking up, where two or more people get together solely for sexual purposes without any attachment, has become commonplace among many teens. Names have become secondary, never mind commitment. “Now, because of the society we are growing up in, sex is taken a lot more lightly and casually, like it’s no big deal pretty much,” says 18-year-old Casey Downings, who asked that her real name not be used. Such practices and attitudes, she says, stem not only from mixed messages in the media, but also from life on the homefront. Families rarely sit down together for a meal; lives are disrupted by divorce; 16-year-olds are handed brand-new cars and ignore philanthropic work; parents work hard to provide but aren’t available otherwise; family prayer time is nonexistent because a religious upbringing is too often ignored. “Because a lot of kids today are being raised on Ritalin and Nintendo 64, they don’t have that influence of their parents,” she says. “Our influence comes from rated-R video games and pornography on the Internet and nannies that don’t speak English.” Add in peer pressure, and the challenges for today’s youth intensifies. “It’s overwhelming,” she says. “And to try to take everything up and soak everything in and try not to be completely isolated, but at the same time try to hold on to your standards and values, it’s a battle. It’s a never-ending battle.” The good Though the challenges can indeed be difficult, many youth manage to hold steadfast to their values and beliefs. “The sexual activity of teens is pretty much split with a small percentage in between,” says one Tesoro High school student in south Orange County. “I know a lot of people who are waiting until they are married. And a lot of people who also are very active and it goes to the extreme where it’s almost an everyday thing.” Distaste of the sexual trends which include group experimentation and openly having oral sex in public places like movie theaters may be responsible in part for some of the more positive and encouraging directions. Compared to a decade ago, teens today are less likely to be having sex, according to The Media Project. Fifty-four percent of high schoolers in 2001, for example, report never having had sexual intercourse, up from 46% in 1991. Among those teens having sex, more are taking protective measures. Fifty-eight percent of sexually active high school students report using condoms during most recent sex; 18% used birth control pills. Abstinence and more effective use of contraception among teens likely play a role in today’s choices. According to the Advocates for Youth, teenage pregnancy, abortion and birth rates in the United States have declined steadily since 1991 in every age and racial/ethnic group. Locally, the overall birth rate for females ages 15 to 19 has declined 37% since 1992, according to the ninth annual Conditions of Children in Orange County report. The dangerous Kathleen Eaton, founder and executive director of the women’s shelter Toby’s House as well as three pregnancy health centers in Orange County, worries such statistics will bring a false sense of relief to parents of teens. And justifiably so. The big issue today for teens, she says, is not teen pregnancy; it’s whether they will later be able to conceive. “When I started 24 years ago, the girls used to come in for a pregnancy test. Today it’s STDs,” she says. “What our kids are dealing with and what I see at the crisis center site is absolutely devastating. And if you read medical brochures...you will find that the fear is that this generation will have epidemic levels of infertility because of the epidemic levels of STDs.” With dozens of diseases spread primarily through sexual activity, the prevalence of STDs is indeed alarming. The latest estimates from the Centers for Disease Control show 15 million new STD cases in the United States each year. Approximately one-fourth of these new infections are in teenagers. While some forms of sexually transmitted diseases have declined, other types are on the rise. According to the Conditions of Children in Orange County report, which tracks four types of STDs, gonorrhea, syphilis and AIDS have had substantial decreases since 1992 (74%, 92% and 63% respectively). Chylamydia, which represents the highest concentration of those STD cases tracked, on the other hand, has held a steady increase during the same period, until last year when it declined by 2.8%. Statewide, it is estimated that one in 10 adolescents between the ages of 15 and 19 are infected with the disease. “Part of the challenge with chylamydia is that many young men and women who have it don’t have any symptoms and don’t know that anything is wrong,” says Souleles. “But that doesn’t mean that they are not able to transmit it to their partners.” The other challenge threatening the health of teens is the spread of human papillomavirus (HPV), which is likely the most common STD among young, sexually active people and is of increasing public health concern. Studies, for example, show that some types of HPV infection cause cervical cancer. Others, like genital HPV, commonly known as genital warts, can be spread through skin-to-skin contact. “What we worry about obviously is the continued spread, the illness that it can cause for people who do become infected and (some of the consequences that can occur if left untreated),” say Souleles. Among the more severe and long-term complications associated with STDs are pelvic inflammatory disease, ectopic pregnancy, infertility, chronic pelvic pain in women and physical and mental developmental disabilities among newborn babies. The disturbing What’s most bothersome for many is the loss of once defined boundaries. Take for example the scenarios painted around the highly publicized gang-rape case involving Orange County teens and a then-16-year-old Inland Empire teen. Professionals who work with sexually assaulted teens and teens themselves say such an incident is not rare. And sexual assaults involving dual assailants, such as two or three guys raping one girl, are on the rise. (See accompanying tips on ways to protect teens from forced or coerced sex and date rape drugs.) A lack of boundaries can be seen on campuses as well, from girls being grabbed and poked while walking to their next class to being groped in a classroom when the teacher turns his or her back. Or, girls who fondle boys though a cutout pocket during class break. “(Youth) are really uneducated, as far as what’s OK and what’s not OK,” says Victoria Dominguez-Ashimine, a marriage and family therapist and founder of Tustin-based Girls United in Strength. “And a lot of the parents aren’t talking to their kids about sex in ways that are effective. They’re not (talking about appropriate and non-appropriate behaviors.)” Even the definition of sex has become blurred today and may be responsible in part for the increased numbers of high school students who report never having sex. In a study of college freshmen and sophomores, 37% described oral sex and 24% described anal sex as abstinent behaviors. They are not. Educating youth While it’s clear youth today are in need of more guidance and teaching, controversy exists over who should be teaching them and what they should be taught. According to the Heritage Foundation, debates about sex education have focused on two different approaches: “safe sex” courses, which encourage teens to use contraceptives, especially condoms, when having sex, and abstinence education, which encourages teens to delay sexual activity. Today’s programs oftentimes involve a combination of both. These highly disputed approaches, though, represent just one component of the education process. Today’s culture demands much, much more. “There’s those stupid commercials on TV,” says Downings. “Those anti-smoking commercials where it’s like, ‘talk, you’re kids will listen.’ And honestly, they are so corny; but it’s the truth.” Sandy Bennett is associate editor for OC Family Magazine. Delaying Sex Factors cited in new report The results of a recent study by the Rand Corp. sheds light on some of the factors that contribute to earlier initiation of sex as well as ones that tend to promote postponement. One factor is the television viewing habits of youth. The study, the first of its kind to find a direct cause-and-effect link between TV and sexual activity, found that teens who watch a lot of sexually suggestive television programming are almost twice as likely to have sex earlier than teens who do not. The study, funded by the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development, also showed that talk about sex on TV had virtually the same effect on teen behavior as depictions of sexual activity. Other risk factors include having older friends, getting lower grades, engaging in rule-breaking such as skipping class and sensation-seeking. The study, which involved nearly 2,000 adolescents, also identified a set of factors found to decrease the likelihood of first intercourse. Many of these indicators centered on parent characteristics, including having parents who monitored teens’ activities, having parents who were more educated or who were clearly disapproving of teens’ having sexual relations and living with both parents. Other factors that reduced the likelihood of having sex include being more religious and feeling less depressed or anxious than other youths. - By Sandy Bennett Keeping Safe 10 red flags for date rape from teen survivors • Trust your gut: Virtually every survivor talks about having a bad feeling about the person or the situation prior to or around the time of the actual assault. • Avoid drinking alcohol and taking drugs: Using any type of substance impairs decision-making abilities and may cloud judgment. • Know the symptoms of date rape drugs: If you begin to feel drugged, sluggish or strange, get help immediately. Often vision will be blurred, thoughts will become clouded and speech slurred. Act fast because drugs like GHD and other date rape drugs are very strong and begin to act quickly. These substances are often odorless, colorless and can be placed in water and soda. • Note any aggressive or violent tendencies in your date’s personality: Oftentimes perpetrators will act aggressively by picking fights or causing conflict with other people while around you. • Set limits and stand firm: Be firm and clear about when you need to be home, where you are willing to go and what you are willing to do. • Be aware if girls are outnumbered by boys: Be aware of possible vulnerable situations. • Deviant touching: Unwarranted touch, such as being publicly grabbed, can often quickly escalate into a date rape situation. • Secluded area: Be aware if driven to a place where there are not many people around or if you are taken to a place where you cannot easily walk away from. • Friends and family have a strong dislike for your date: People around you may be in a more objective and less involved position to see things about your date that you aren’t seeing. Weigh their input with your gut feelings. • History or rumors about your potential date: Like the psychology says, “The best indicator of future behavior is past behavior.” - Source: Girls United Together for Strength (See Helping Hand for information on Girls United Together for Strength.) |
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