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Kid Quips
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WINNING ENTRY “Can you tell me before my tooth falls out so I can catch it?” Danya, 6, of Tustin Ranch While playing at the park one day, Xander ran up the slide and hit his head on the bar at the top. In the middle of being comforted, he stopped crying, looked up and said, “We can’t afford to buy me a new head, huh?” Xander, 3, of Garden Grove I was in the shower when the phone rang. My daughter answered the phone: “Mom, the paleontologist wants to talk to you.” I asked her to repeat herself twice, as I didn’t think I heard her correctly. Each time she insisted a paleontologist wanted to talk to me. Since I don’t know a paleontologist, I figured she was confused with the speech PATHOLOGIST my 2-year-old sees regularly. Upon answering the phone, the woman on the other line said, “This is the AUDIOlogist.” Courtney, 7, of Mission Viejo My son asked to go play at his friend’s house and I said, “No, sweetheart, you don’t need to go inside their house. Just play outside in the cul-de-sac, instead.” Obviously frustrated, he replied, “You need to get some health insurance before you die of the NO disease.” Luke, 6, of Yorba Linda I gave my son a cookie. “Here you go, pumpkin pie.” He looked at me and stated, “I am not pumpkin pie, I am a normal human being.” David, 5, of North Tustin My son had a stomach ache and diarrhea after eating too much at a birthday party. He sat on the toilet holding his stomach and said, “Mommy, why don’t they call it fire-rhea?” Eden, 5, of Foothill Ranch Noah was about to go to kindergarten the next day. He was in the bathroom and I asked, “Do you need any help?” He said, “Mommy, if I have to go to the bathroom at school, do I have to call you so you can come and help me? I am a big boy, can’t you see that? Mommy, what I am going to do with you?” Noah, 5, of Orange County We were outside on a beautiful fall day. One of the large, white fluffy clouds drifted over the sun, and my daughter looked up and said, “Hey, who turned out the lights?” The sun reappeared and, relieved, she said, “Oh good, the lights got turned back on.” Saylor, 2 1/2 of Costa Mesa I was babysitting a little girl who was watching my friend nurse her baby. This little girl loved orange juice more than anything. As she watched the baby nurse, she turned to me and said, “You could even put orange juice in there!” Milan, 6, of Newport Coast ALSO FROM MILAN: After a wonderful trip to Hawaii, my daughter asked when we would once again return to the world called Hawaii, where they have the “hello-ha?” While staying at beautiful Crystal Cove for the night in one of cottages right next to the gully, the frogs and crickets were chirping quite loudly. My son said, “Will somebody PLEASE turn off the frogs!” Bradley, 5, of Costa Mesa |
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