Health: In Shape

The chance to begin anew is often cherished by New Year’s revelers. Reinventing yourself through diet, exercise or education tops the list of parents looking forward to a new year. As you contemplate being more organized, saving money or eating more vegetables, your kids are aware of your actions. 

    As 2008 rolls in, children eagerly anticipate the chance to join New Year’s resolution-makers. Although a child may have the best of intentions when promising to turn over a new leaf, resolutions, like many life experiences, require maturity, reflection and patience. Here’s how you can help:

Determine her readiness
    First, talk with her to establish her expectations. Is she looking to improve an area of her life or her behavior? Does she want to expand a skill or take on more responsibility? “Many children automatically imitate adults they overhear, who are discussing resolutions without understanding the words,” says life coach Meaghan Duffy of Cleveland, Ohio.

Does she understand what it means?
    The term “resolution” can be overwhelming and confusing. If your child is not old or mature enough to understand the word, she may not be ready for the pressure it commands. Establishing New Year’s rules, changes or habits without the lofty connotation of a resolution eases a child into the concept of refining herself as she develops throughout the new year.  

Redefine it
    Children as young as 5 are able to comprehend the concept of incorporating change. Talk with  an older preschooler or kindergartener about changing habits, or adding a new job to the day to help her embrace a resolution. Instead of looking at resolutions as an annual event, suggest to an elementary-age child to set weekly or monthly resolutions based on her age and interests.

Give lots of support
    “A few weeks into the New Year, my 6-year-old son was so disappointed when he realized he’d forgotten to make his bed. Because it was his resolution, he felt he’d let himself – and us – down. He failed to recognize that he was successful because he had made his bed every day for 3 weeks before forgetting,” shares Benita Ward-Thomason of Olathe, Kan. Offering her son praise for what he was able to accomplish, while helping to redirect him back toward his goal, Thomason’s approach is one that will help your child challenge himself, while being proud of himself for his achievements.

Be realistic!
        Resolving to never fight with a sibling is an unrealistic, but common, resolution among kids. Hoping to receive a better grade in science without studying or turning in homework assignments is unattainable and sets a child up for disappointment. Offer a few suggestions to spark her resolution creativity.  

Resolutions for kids under 6:
> Help with the care and feeding of a pet
> Brush teeth for 2 minutes, twice daily
> Share 1 toy every day with a sibling or peer
> Practice writing vital info (name, address and phone number)

Ages 7 to 10:
> Expand the household duties (empty all household trash daily or weekly, set and clear table every other night or every weekend, etc.)
> Begin projects that he’s always wanted to attempt, or complete those that have been set aside (i.e. tackle a 500-piece puzzle, swim a full lap, etc.)
> Learn a new skill (guitar lessons, ceramic class, etc.) or look into playing a new sport

Ages 11 to 15:
> Mentor a younger sibling in sports, a hobby, etc.
> Allot specific time to spend with an extended family member (i.e. grandparent, aunt, etc.) once a week/month, etc.
> Designate 1 night a week as “electronic-free”

Tracking resolutions
    Sticker charts, tallies and progress pictures help children quickly view their accomplishments. Incorporate motivational tools and praise to propel your children to continue to strive to attain their New Year’s goal.

Rethinking goals
    A child’s determination to walk the dog every day might fade after a few weeks.  Committing to a number of days might be something your child needs to learn on his own. If he believes he is ready to attempt a difficult resolution, encourage him to test his abilities and limits, while stressing that revising a resolution is always an option, not a sign of weakness or failure.

Prioritize!
    A child who hopes to reduce the amount of time he spends playing video games, feeding the cat and keeping his room organized might require some creative juggling. Help him to prioritize resolutions based on his expected results. “Realizing that there are situations where it might not be possible to address all resolutions at one time will prevent a child from becoming overwhelmed,” explains child and family therapist Brian Malinowski.

Accomplishing resolutions
    The obvious purpose of a resolution is success, but what happens when your child realizes his goal? Mental health experts, such as Malinowski, suggest encouraging children to continue to set new or higher standards for themselves regardless of the time of year. “If a child fulfills his resolution to learn to swim, guide him to consider strengthening his swimming ability instead of resting on his victory laurels,” he urges. m

    Gina Roberts-Grey is a frequent contributor to OC Family Magazine.�