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![]() I found it interesting, and at times rattling, to read what some of the great philosophers – like Aquinas, Decartes, Kant and Hume – had to say about the existence or non-existence of a deity. And while that class gave me some good material to answer philosophical questions at cocktail parties, my daughter Danielle stumped me when she asked this theological puzzle: “Are there bathrooms in heaven?” “Umm. I guess we’ll just have to wait until we get there to find out,” I told her. That’s my stock answer to a lot of the questions my kids ask about God. Like, why does God make it rain, or why did God create bad guys? But after pondering the bathroom question for some time, I thought I could do better than that. Didn’t Jesus speak of heaven being like a wedding banquet? If so, my impression would be that divine bathrooms are made of solid gold and never, ever clog. I decided to go to the top, or as close to the top that I could get, for the answer. One Sunday after mass, I cornered the Rev. Paul Gins of St. Juliana Falconieri Church in Fullerton before the rest of the faithful could. “Father, I have an odd question for you,” I said. “Actually, it’s my daughter’s question,” I added, trying to pass the buck. “Are there bathrooms in heaven?”He grinned at me and said: “Well, that’s a deeper question about what our perception of heaven is, isn’t it?” he said. Yes, yes it is. Sure. Heaven to me would be a place where I could surf or play golf all day and my wife would be fine with that. It would be a place where there is no pain, no depression, no violence and, in my case, no tomatoes. He thought for a bit and gave me a plausible answer, as my daughter looked on. “The body is a gift of the Holy Spirit,” he said. “When we die, we bury our bodies reverently.” The body, he said, is no longer needed in heaven. Therefore, the needs of the body don’t exist any longer. “We don’t need our bodies to be one with God,” he said. “So, no, there are no bathrooms in heaven.” With that, he rushed off to find a more lucid parishioner to speak to. I looked down at Danielle, who had been listening to his every word. She seemed unconvinced. Later, I asked her what she thought heaven was like. “I think heaven is waterfalls and rainbows,” she said. “There’s no pollution. It’s a rainforest with lots of animals.” And, the most important feature of her perfect heaven: “It has a bigger Disneyland.” Tony Dodero is a longtime Orange County journalist and former editor of the Daily Pilot. Contact him at doderocommunications.com. |
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| Comment at 9/2/2009 |
| Comment at 9/3/2009 |
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| Comment at 9/4/2009 |