EVERYTHING
FOR YOUR FAMILY
KID
QUIPS
During last July’s 5.8 earthquake, 3-year-old Bronwyn told her 1-year-old sister, “We’re going for a wiggle.” READ MORE
Get in the Game
|
||||
|
Much to the dismay of the ever-hopeful sports dad or mom, not every standout athlete wants to continue playing a sport at increasing levels of intensity. Despite success in competitive league play, a youth athlete might want to reclaim some of the time and energy spent on a sport and throw his or her talents at other interesting pursuits, such as playing the guitar, mastering a surfboard or even learning a profession. They may find the library of more interest than the ballfield. Brian Hlozek, a junior at Tesoro High School in Orange County, is an experienced athlete who has played soccer and baseball for more than six years. His natural talent was a contributing factor in two championship seasons. Upon reaching high school, instead of intensifying his commitment to these sports, Brian traded in his cleats for a surfboard. His father, Dennis, told me, “Brian enjoys team sports but always liked the more individual sports like skating, surfing and bike jumping. I think he enjoys the natural side of surfing. The ocean is a little different every day.” Dennis has spent years coaching his son’s teams, but has no surfing background. You might think that he wouldn’t consider surfing a worthy sport compared to baseball or soccer. Instead, Dennis has gained a new respect. “The more I learn from him about the sport, the more I appreciate how it is very similar to all sports. It takes a desire to improve and a lot of practice.” Brian Hlozek surfs at least once a day. His persistence has paid off with a spot on Tesoro High’s varsity surf team. It pulls you back in For Brian, what started off as a quest for personal enjoyment and fulfillment away from the world of competitive team sports has come back full circle. His dad is proud of his son’s spot on the varsity team, and Brian gets to spend his time after school not on the playing field but in the ocean that he loves. Marty Tadman, a senior in high school and wide receiver for the Mission Viejo Diablos, seems at first glance to be a 24-hour-a-day football player. He scored nine touchdowns this year, returned kicks and played defense. He was the Orange County Register’s Offensive Player of the Year. His high school coach says Marty was an integral part of the Diablos’ 41-game win streak. But when the record-setting era began, Marty wasn’t on the field. “In my sophomore year, I didn’t have the desire for it,” Marty told the Orange County Register. Marty decided to take a year off from football. With his extra time, he played basketball, tennis and ran track. The time away from football also gave him a chance to reflect on what was important to him. As he told the newspaper: “I sat out a year, and all my desire came back to me. Sitting out made me realize how important football is to me.” He came back after his hiatus with a new sense of commitment and parlayed his desire into a spectacular senior season. He’s playing college football next year for Boise State. The real world Tyler Thompson is another standout whose story takes a turn. Just four years ago, he was having 250-yard games as a running back for the Santa Margarita High School football team. He still holds the school record for longest touchdown run. He was Most Valuable Player for both the team and the Serra League. Tyler was accepted on the USC football team as a walk-on player. He “went to one practice, turned in his gear and said, ‘Thanks for the memories.’ He’s now a junior and intends to go to dental school,” says Dr. Tim Huston, a friend of the Thompson family and a former football team physician. Dr. Huston has been following local football for decades. He observes that standout athletes sometimes find that their chosen sport serves to open a door for them at the college level. “Then the real world begins and you’re on your own.” An important question that reluctant standouts have to ask themselves is, “How much do I love this sport?” Coaching conflicts have undoubtedly convinced many players to walk away from a particular sport. But the factors in the decision are many and complex. Eventually, standout athletes have to make a choice about how far to pursue a particular sport and at what point they choose another path. They become more multi-dimensional by closing one door while opening another. Personal growth is its own reward, though becoming well-rounded is challenged when every waking moment is spent in training, practice or games. For some players, like Brian Hlozek, a hiatus from a sport allows them to pursue a new, more personally fulfilling athletic direction. For players like Marty Tadman, time away from a chosen sport can reaffirm their commitment to it. For Tyler Thompson and others, being a standout player opens doors to college and a career beyond athletics. For a parent, haunting questions remain: “Did my favorite sports star just walk away from his or her best sport for a good reason? Is a great opportunity being missed?” Before your standout athlete gives up on a sport, you might want to make sure that the decision is based on sound reasoning. Just let them choose. Find out why Elizabeth Pantley, author of the book “Perfect Parenting: the Dictionary of 1000 Parenting Tips,” recommends that parents of both standout and regular athletes closely observe a couple games and practices to try and uncover the reason for disenchantment with a particular sport. If there is a personality clash between the coach and your child, you might have found the heart of the reason that the sport no longer appeals to your child. You might suggest changing coaches, if possible. Or, you might see that the pressures of the formal game are draining the fun out of it. Football, for example, carries certain pressures and expectations that are challenging to deal with, especially by the college level. A youth athlete can lose sight of the simple joys of running, passing and catching a football under the threat of a stressed-out head coach, impending pain and nagging injuries. Pantley asks, is the sport is taking up too much time? Most advanced sports require a huge commitment from a player at the very point in his or her life when personal and scholastic pursuits are getting more complicated. (There is no academic year quite as rigorous as the 11th-grade year; just ask those studying for the SAT.) Your player might need more time for new relationships, studies or pursuits than is allowed in the practice and game schedules. In the absence of a major problem with a coach or a team, what at first glance looks like an abandonment of the sport may be a sign of increasing maturity and independence. Your offspring is realizing there is more to the world and might not be turning his or her back on a beloved sport so much as reaching out for successes on a broader playing field. It is better to have tried and failed than to never have tried at all. And it is better to have tried, and succeeded, and then been wise enough to say, “Enough.” David Kries of Mission Viejo writes about families, sports and fitness for several regional publications and maintains a website for a local software company. To reach him: davidkries@cox.net. |
||||
RSS Subscribe
Digg This ArticleSEARCH THE SITE
