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The softball coach was puzzled. His exceptional team of 10-, 11- and 12-year-old girls was 15-1 with three games left to go in the season when the father of one of the players took him aside and handed him a piece of paper. "It's a suggested new batting order," he said. The coach looked at him in amazement. "We're fifteen and one," said the coach. "Do you really think I should change anything?" The softball team went on to win the city championship - without a new lineup. At one point, the umpire stopped the game and walked over to the manager of the 15-1 team. "It's your pitcher," he said. "Would you mind asking her to slow down her pitches? She's scaring the batters." As memorable as those two moments were, what the coach will always remember more about that team is its unity; how the parents supported the team not just with game-day cheers but with action before, during and after each practice and contest. Even that misguided parent with the new lineup was showing signs of involvement. An active, involved set of parents can make the difference between taking home a certificate of participation or a tall trophy that rests on the mantle. Parents who care show it by pitching in, sending signals to their children that the team is important; that it represents a commitment that must be followed through, even and often at the expense of other activities. Throughout the season, these parents are also smoothing the way for the coaches to do what they do best - teach kids how to win and how to behave on the field or court. Be there to cheer Good parental support is just one element of a successful youth sports team, but it's a big one. So big that in any youth sports league, the coaches rating prospective players on their speed and agility will often add a "P" next to players of similar skills. The "P" stands for "parents." In the long run, however, it will take more than nice parents to create a successful team. But defining "success" at this level is not always easy. The distinction is important because success often means different things to different people. Some parents believe that success is measured only in the won-lost column. Those parents may even believe that a hard-driving coach may be good for their child's development. These parents, however, may be trading their child's pure love of the game for a short-term benefit. And some of those parents have to ask themselves whether the thrill of victory is more for their child or themselves. To many coaches, success is defined not by the number of wins but the number of kids on their team who sign up for the sport the next season. If the kids sign up, they believe they have done their jobs. Winning and fun do mix Dan Keller is a youth baseball coach and instructor in Huntington Beach who emphasizes that children can win and still have fun at the same time. Here are Keller's top three rules for creating winners: • "First, have a plan. Kids need and want structure. It maximizes practice time and avoids boredom. • "Second, communicate your rules and goals. Establish fair guidelines on playing time, attendance, and expectations as far as effort and energy. Communicate them early and stick to them. • "Third, be realistic. Maintain a goal of developing the kids, with an emphasis on success. Do not get caught up in winning a 10-year-old league championship at all costs. In the big picture, this is just a step in the development of an athlete and more important, a young person. Be realistic with the ability of your youngsters. This makes victory more fulfilling and helps them learn how to handle frustrations." Another element of a successful team is teaching teamwork. Too often, kids watch the superstars and get the notion that one person can make a winning season. In any team sport, it is essential that each player understands that no one is bigger than the entire team; that in the end, the victors are those who relied on their teammates to contribute their own particular skill set to the victories. Successful teams also learn some lessons the hard way. During practice, for example, no player should be allowed to disrupt the learning process. Anyone who does should be disciplined according to the coach's rules - rules that are dictated at the beginning of the season so that everyone knows the boundaries. Most of the time, the discipline comes in stages. The first disruption gets a warning, the second disruption involves an extra physical activity such as running laps or doing push-ups. The third incident usual means removal from the practice or game. No player, no matter how good, is spared the discipline. Keep your head up To be successful, coaches also have to instill a sense of pride. Players should be made to understand that pride in their appearance is important and that uniforms must be properly worn. Similarly, care for their equipment must not only be stressed, it must be taught. Pride also means that kids don't gloat. The child who scores three goals in a soccer game and does a special dance after each one will look silly when her team loses. One example of how gloating can backfire was seen in the gold medal round of women's beach volleyball at this year's Olympics. While Misty May and Kerry Walsh were offering only a "high five" after a point, their opponents from Brazil treated each point as the defining moment their lives by smiling, laughing and hugging. In the end, May and Walsh won. Coaches and parents who work together to keep the team unified, excited and respectful will achieve success regardless of their record. Steve Smith of Costa Mesa is a regular contributor to Churm Publishing, Inc. |
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