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On the Road

Sports moms spin the wheels of fortune.

By David KriesPublished: September, 2004

See that SUV carrying three kids scheduled for three different games at the same time? There’s an unspoken assumption that a “soccer mom” is behind the wheel. While dads take the more eye-catching roles (coaching, for example), moms often accomplish without complaint the grunt work ­ getting the young athlete fed, dressed, and to the game on time.

No doubt, some moms go to heroic lengths to get the children to fields, gyms and pools for all games and practices ­ on time, well-rested, completely dressed. This is especially true when two or more young players are involved. How do sports moms do it, and what motivates them? Are sports dads equally responsible for getting young players to the field, or do they make contributions elsewhere?

Super soccer moms
Sports mom Pha Gaines of Woodland Hills wrote me to describe her weekday dropoff routine, one that will get a sympathetic ear from thousands of readers: “I have a 14-year-old and a 15-year-old, and they both do sports. This year, one was due on the track while one was due on the court. Tuesdays are ridiculous ­ leave Woodland Hills at 4 p.m. and pick up the two kids. Straight to Pasadena to drop off the son for track, then catch the cross-town freeway to Lynwood for the daughter’s practice by 6 p.m.”

Then it’s time to pick up the athletes: “Get my son from Pasadena by 7 p.m. and return to Lynwood by 8:30 p.m. All to get home by 9:30 p.m. and finally get ready for bed. Phew! I’m writing it and can’t believe it.” Pha is clearly putting in most of the legwork to get her kids to practice on time.

Southern California mom Lynne Harris has an added complication: five kids who play sports. Making all the practices and games is an effort, but Lynne analyzes it this way: “The key factors to accomplishing the task are organization, flexibility, support of family and friends, and time management.”

Dynamic sports dads
Sports dads agree that mom seems most of the time caught at the pump. Soccer dad John R. told me: “It’s true two-thirds of the time. The other one-third, it’s the dad who has a flexible work schedule who is doing the heavy lifting. Let’s not forget that in most of the cases where the moms are doing the hauling, the dad is at a job. Most of those dads would happily trade that hour at work to drive the kid to and from practice, if they could.”

Another soccer dad who manages the sports schedule of several kids told me that the secret to making all the games and practices on time is not necessarily depending on mom, dad, or any one person. He said, “It’s called organization. You get the coach or another parent to take the oldest two, and you take the youngest. Or you take the nearest, so you’ll be at home by the time the others come back.

“Once we had a coach bring nine players to every practice and every game. Yes, the SUV was overcrowded with bags, balls and girls, but no one else could take them. Failing an arrangement like that, you’ll have to do what most parents round here seem to do: drop and run.”

Travel far and wide
Getting multiple players to multiple games is a challenge when the fields are nearby, so just imagine having conflicting events in different states. Among the region’s farthest-stretched sports parents are Karen and Jon Samuelson of Brea. They have three daughters who have played on various soccer and basketball teams. Their oldest daughter, Bonnie, traveled around the country this year in pursuit of a national free-throw shooting title. By necessity, Jon and Karen had to take a balanced approach to getting their kids to the game on time. They decided that all three girls competing on different teams at different locations was just too much, so Jon made a tough decision: “I put (7-year-old) Katie Lou on the same club basketball team as (9-year-old) Karlie, so I wouldn’t have to drive to so many different games. The problem is that Karlie was already playing up a year, so Katie Lou would be playing against girls who are at least three years older.”

For any other 7-year-old, the strain of playing up might have been overwhelming, but former Fullerton basketball star Jon and his athletic wife seem to have the genes for producing hoops players. “On the opening play of her first game with the older girls, Katie Lou steals the ball, goes the length of the court, and banks in a shot,” Jon recalls. Her quick score relieved any fear that Katie Lou might be in over her head.

Sharing success
In April, Karen flew to Maine with Bonnie to watch her compete in the national Hoop Shoot finals. Jon was with the younger girls at a basketball tournament in San Francisco when 10-year-old Bonnie won the national title. Jon told me, “I never thought I’d be this into girls’ basketball.” He and Karen both enjoy seeing the younger girls play on the same club team, and they’re both gratified to see Bonnie start experiencing recognition for her talent.

Bonnie Samuelson got lots of attention from the press for her remarkable free-throw expertise. One newspaper article featured the memorable headline “Brea Girl Puts Shaq to Shame.” During the NBA playoffs, Bonnie was asked to appear on the Lakers’ postgame show, so Karen Samuelson drove Bonnie to the ESPN SportsZone in Anaheim for her TV debut.

After a Lakers-Spurs game, ABC showed Bonnie trading baskets with former Laker Norm Nixon. Then sportscaster Rob Fukazaki talked to Bonnie about her national title, and asked her if she could give Shaquille O’Neal some advice for improving his free throws. To the delight of sportscasters everywhere, Bonnie said: “His shot has no rhythm. It’s like watching Charles Barkley swing a golf club.”

Footage of Bonnie’s dig at the outspoken sportscaster “Sir Charles” showed up on newscasts later that night. Bonnie’s quip came from her dad ­ she didn’t even know who Charles Barkley was. Jon was delighted that his daughter remembered what he told her to say.

Coming out ahead
The story of her TV appearance illustrates how everyone in the family contributes to Bonnie’s success: her dad’s coaching and basketball knowledge plays a role, her sister’s flexibility allows her parents to maintain a reasonable schedule, and her mom makes sure she’s where she needs to be. Bonnie’s nearby grandparents also help out, staying involved and watching the girls as needed.

It seems that the most successful sports parents are the ones who stay flexible and share the responsibilities of having several kids who participate in sports. The best approach, though sometimes complicated, seems to be enlisting the help of both mom and dad, other parents, grandparents, and even coaches to make the pickups and dropoffs when you’ve got a full sports schedule.

The technical knowledge and loving support of a sports dad is indispensable to a young athlete, but many players count on the sports mom when they need to get to the game on time. Local moms like Lynne Harris wouldn’t have it any other way. She says, “Yes, I’m busy. But I’d rather do this than visit them at juvenile hall.”

A full schedule of sports for your children focuses your time and theirs on healthy wholesome activities that are usually done together as a family. It’s the main reason that the affectionate image of the soccer mom at the wheel is so enduring. And for most families, when mom is behind the wheel, dad is not far behind.

David Kries of Mission Viejo writes regularly about sports-related topics.

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