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First Years (0-2)

Early Years Useful tips and info for you and your infant (ages 0-2). By S. Danyelle KnightPublished: June, 2008

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Mommy guilt The mental and physical exhaustion of having a child fade with time. But once mommy guilt sets in sometime near conception, it persists well after babies leave the nest. What’s the worry about, and how do we rid ourselves of its crippling effects?     That’s the task the writers of “Mommy Guilt: Learn to Worry Less, Focus on What Matters Most, and Raise Happier Kids” set out to answer. I’ve synthesized the book’s “principles” into three reminders: > Dump the supermom suit. The next time you add to your to-do list, stop and think. Prioritize things that add to your joy and remember: When you’re stretched too thin, nothing seems worthwhile. > Stop comparing notes. Silence the need to compete with other moms. It triggers massive amounts of guilt; plus, it keeps you from drawing comfort from moms who are surely in a similar boat. > Don’t sweat small stuff. If you expect to maintain a spotless home, cook gourmet meals nightly, and look stylish and composed at every turn, it’s time for a reality check. Nurse away! Moms have the right to breastfeed in public It goes without saying that you open yourself up to a world of unexpected experiences when you bring children into the world. Along with the “joys” of projectile vomit, potty-training accidents and temper tantrums, I encountered a surprising discovery: discrimination. I’m frequently caught off guard by rude salespeople and nasty passersby intent on treating those of us who are perpetuating the species like second-class citizens. Sadly, the mistreatment even extends to breastfeeding moms who, when called upon to soothe and nourish their children in public places, are often made to feel like pariahs.     Nursing is perfectly natural. However, judging by the reactions many moms get from the peanut gallery, you’d think it was something perverse. Breastfeeding moms have been ousted from their airline seats, sent packin’ from public parks and asked to leave restaurants because the act of feeding their children was deemed unsuitable for public consumption. How strange that the sight of a baby nursing at his mother’s breast is deemed obscene when “butt cleavage” is an acceptable fashion statement.     In a culture in which bottlefeeding is ubiquitous, the odds are stacked against moms who try to follow the American Academy of Pediatrics’ guidelines and breastfeed their children for a year or more. It’s hard work, especially in the beginning, with sore nipples and sleepless nights to complicate the learning curve. Nursing does not get any easier when new moms are ready to venture out into the world. Should breastfeeding moms stay sequestered at home for fear of “exposing” themselves to a few squeamish citizens? I say, “No way!”     State lawmakers agree. The California Civil Code states: “Notwithstanding any other provision of law, a mother may breastfeed her child in any location, public or private, except the private home or residence of another, where the mother and child are authorized to be present.” That means it’s perfectly lawful for moms to nurse their babies at the coffee shop, the ballpark or the public beach without going to extreme methods of subterfuge. Know your rights, and don’t let yourself be intimidated from doing what comes naturally. School readiness Many parents start worrying about whether or not their baby will get into Harvard while the little guy is still sticking peas up his nose. That’s craziness, but it is smart to think about how to support your child’s social and emotional growth so he has the best chance of success in school. The experts at zerotothree.com say kids need to develop these skills: > Language and literacy: Learning to communicate with gestures, sounds and words so they can read. > Thinking skills: Learning how the world works, from counting and sorting to problem-solving. > Self-control: Expressing and managing emotions in appropriate ways. > Self-confidence: Believing they can be successful at taking on new challenges, which is essential for intellectual development. Recall Alert For a list of recent recalls on baby toys and products, visit ocfamily.com, click on Topics, then Recall Alert. S. Danyelle Knight is an award-winning contributor to OC Family Magazine.

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