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First Years (0-2)

Child of my heart What to consider if you want to adopt By Tamirra StewartPublished: April, 2010

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When I was growing up, there was something secretive about kids who were adopted. It seemed uncommon and mysterious, and no one openly said they were adopted.     In 2010, adoption has moved from mysterious to, well, normal. Even popular – just look at the celebrities. They make it seem so easy, don’t they? One moment they’re childless (or far from it, in some cases) and the next there’s a beautiful baby, usually foreign-born, in their arms.     But is adoption that easy?     For the rest of us, no. Adopting a child doesn’t just happen through the purchase of a round-trip ticket to a Third World country, and the process isn’t any easier domestically.     But this is a good thing. Fairly recently, laws and restrictions were put in place nationally and internationally to protect the well-being and health of children.     For some, however, the process is a little too arduous and, some think, separates those who are serious about adoption from those who are very serious about adoption. According to the National Center for Health, in 1995, of the 99 percent of women who wanted to adopt, 16 percent took steps toward adoption. Of that 16 percent, 31 percent actually adopted.     The adoption process may seem like an uphill battle but, according to adoptive parents, the rewards are many.     Most children who are waiting to be adopted come from a less-than-perfect home life.     “Their background is usually abuse, neglect – sometimes physical and emotional,” says Kian Clineff from Canyon Acres, a not-for-profit adoption agency. “These kids are behind socially and most definitely behind educationally.”     In the United States, there are 123,000 children waiting for adoption in foster care, over half of them living in the home of a non-relative. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services defines “waiting children” as “those children who have a goal of adoption and/or whose parents’ parental rights have been terminated.”     Adoptions can be public or private. A public agency is operated by the county or state, and is supported by tax dollars. In 2008, there were 55,000 children adopted through public agencies.     All private agencies are licensed by the state. All agency adoptions require a “home study” of adoptive parents. A social worker who has met with the applicants on several occasions, both individually and together, will prepare a report. At least one meeting must occur in the applicants’ home.”     For more about the types of adoption, go to ocfamily.com. •> SHOULD YOU ADOPT? What to ask yourself before adopting: > Why do you want to adopt? > How do you feel about not being genetically related to your child? > How do you see yourself talking about adoption with your child? > How will you help your child understand his or her background when there is little information, abandonment issues or a difficult history? > What is your age preference, and how firm are you about this decision? > Are you prepared emotionally and financially to adopt a child with mental or physical challenges? > What racial heritages would you be willing to consider in an adoptive child? > What level of openness are you willing to consider with birth parents? Source: adoption.com •> THE 9 STEPS TO ADOPTION 1. Make contact – Patrick Hammond, OC adoption agency recruiter: patrick.hammond@ssa.ocgov.com 2. Attend an agency orientation – Child welfare professionals will provide an overview and answer questions. 3. Begin a Parent Resources for Information Development and Education (PRIDE) training series, taught by foster/adoptive parents and social workers. 4. Attend an adoption-application workshop and receive an application. 5. Submit the completed application – must be submitted in person, by appointment. 6. Begin home-study process – After completing PRIDE Training and application review, you will be contacted to begin a home study. 7. Complete a home study 8. Obtain a foster care license – You must obtain a license before becoming eligible to adopt. 9. The matching process begins   Source: Social Services of Orange County Tamirra Stewart is a contributor to OC Family magazine.

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