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During last July’s 5.8 earthquake, 3-year-old Bronwyn told her 1-year-old sister, “We’re going for a wiggle.” READ MORE
First Years
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I did such a good job getting my first baby on a schedule. You could practically set your watch according to when she ate, slept and made a poopy diaper. Certainly I must have been doing something right. Right? Boy, was I in for a reality check when the next two came along! The truth is, there are so many factors that play into how quickly a baby adapts to a schedule, not least of all your baby’s own unique personality, that it’s one of those things that’s often easier said than done, even for an “experienced” mom. However, developing a daily routine for a new baby can prove beneficial for both parent and child. Life is about carving out a little peace of mind for mom, and helping baby grow confident and secure knowing what the day holds in store for him. Sometimes parents have a lot of preconceptions about what they think is “right” when it comes to a routine, says Pam Bryant, manager of community education at Children’s Hospital of Orange County. But just like everything else, each baby is different. More importantly, in the beginning, it’s really up to baby to dictate his own schedule, especially when it comes to eating and sleeping. “Babies are self-regulating,” explains Bryant. “A lot of parents put emphasis on quantities; how often they eat and how much. A breastfeeding baby will eat until they’re full, and then they’ll stop. The sleeping and waking patterns center around those feedings.” Dr. Myriam Perez, a pediatrician with Kaiser Permanente’s Lakeview office in Anaheim, echoes this advice. “We know that breastfeeding babies need to eat every three to four hours,” she explains. “By about 6 weeks, most moms have committed to one form of feeding or a combination of both, and their babies have started settling into a schedule. At that point it’s realistic and safe to let the baby sleep as long as they want between feedings. They’ll wake up on their own.” Breastfed babies may go five hours between feedings, while bottle-fed babies usually go longer. (Of course, growth spurts may prompt more frequent feedings along the way,) Dr. Perez says she advises her patients to take advantage of their baby’s natural cycle while working toward a routine. Feed, burp, change diapers and put them down, she offers. (Newborns can sleep up to 18 hours a day.) By starting this process from the very beginning, babies grow accustomed to it before their increasing sense of awareness provides any distractions. Bryant advises parents to manage their baby’s environment as they go through each of the steps in this routine. For example, when baby wakes up hungry in the middle of the night, simply keep the lights dim and the atmosphere quiet. “That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t get up and care for your baby,” says Bryant. “But you don’t want a lot of stimulation at night. You’re not going to have playtime.” By about 3 months of age, babies reach two developmental milestones that should help solidify their nighttime routine. First, they learn to self-comfort, and secondly, many become physically able to sleep through the night without eating. The Ferber method, in particular, involves letting your baby cry for periods of time over a set number of days, in order to teach him to fall asleep by himself and sleep through the night. It can be hard on everyone in the household parents, grandparents, even older siblings. “Some parents find that they aren’t ready for that. They can’t stand hearing any tears without getting up and holding the baby. And there’s nothing wrong with that,” she says. Aside from eating and sleeping, even the simplest of your daily activities can offer the predictability of a routine that many babies crave. A morning story, an afternoon walk around the block, five minutes of tummy time or interactive play, a few moments with dad when he gets home from work, or an evening bath, just might become some of the key signals your baby quickly begins to recognize as he makes his way through those early days. Of course, the one other important factor to consider is time for yourself. New moms need to set aside a few minutes here and there to relax and refresh, especially during those first few months. “Trying to be a supermom doesn’t do anybody any good,” says Bryant. “The recommendation for a new mom is that she sleeps when the baby sleeps. Don’t try to get any other things done.” Finally, if your baby doesn’t fit into the schedule that you envisioned, or the one that your best friend’s baby follows, don’t worry about it. “Enjoy your baby at every stage,” says Bryant. “Don’t put too much emphasis on what you think you should be doing, there really is no absolute.” Michele Piazzoni of Folsom is a regular contributor to OC Family Magazine. For Letters: ocfamily.com |
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