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First Years (0-2)
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The first time you hear them, they are the sweetest sounds in the world. However, your baby's miraculous cries and shrieks, whimpers and wails take on new significance a few days after birth. Before long, it becomes clear that your sanity depends upon finding an off switch. If you're one of the lucky few with an easy-to-soothe little lamb of a baby, you can gloat as you read further of the strategies and suggestions the rest of us require. And if you are like me, the mother of a child with very "healthy lungs," you can take heart in knowing there are a few tricks of the trade that work (almost) every time. It's a tough transition from the warmth and security of the womb to the cold, harsh world. According to "The Happiest Baby on the Block" author and pediatrician Harvey Karp, it's a transition that happens three months too early, when babies' nervous systems aren't prepared for all that greets them on the other side of the birth canal. The angry cries and fussiness often referred to as colic, he believes, may be solved by a five-step method that includes loud, rhythmic shushing, tight swaddling, resting baby on his side or stomach (not recommended for overnight or naps), swinging and sucking. Chances are Dr. Karp's name has popped up at your child birthing class or your favorite mommy-to-be website, and that's because this guy really knows his stuff. His method of soothing babies is based upon years of cross-cultural research and hands-on experience treating children with colic; yet, his advice is not all that revolutionary when you consider moms and dads for generations have sworn by pacifiers, baby swings and long car rides as ways to soothe the savage baby. The specifics of his baby-calming techniques are important to note, however, and may not feel intuitive such as the tight, burrito-like wrap he recommends and the louder-than-commonly-practiced shushing method. Each baby is different, so understand that there is no magic formula for transforming your screaming banshee into a blissful cherub in 6.2 seconds. When your bambino launches into a cry fest, don't panic. Harness your last remaining brain cells and ask yourself a few simple questions: - Is it time for a feeding? - Is it time for a diaper change? - Is it time for a nap? - Is it time for a change of scenery due to over or under stimulation? If you can answer "No" to each of these questions, give Dr. Karp's five S's a try. Pop in the pacifier, swaddle your little bundle, turn on some tunes and set baby in his swing. In the time it takes for your infant to calm down, make yourself a cup of tea and take a few deep, cleansing breaths. After giving it your best effort, it's OK to let your baby cry it out. As a nurse friend of mine once put it, five or 10 minutes of crying is not the end of the world. What's more serious is ignoring your own need for a break and upping the odds of losing your cool. Sadly, the inability of parents to cope with crying is often the trigger that leads to infant abuse, including potentially fatal shaken baby syndrome. Taking a much-needed timeout isn't to say you should overlook prolonged crying. In some rare cases there is a medical reason for your child's anguished cries. If you are concerned that your baby's crying is out of the ordinary, consult your child's pediatrician who can screen for what Karp refers to as "ten red flags," including poor weight gain, lethargy and vomiting. Sometimes we all need a good cry - mom, dad and baby included. Trust yourself and know that over time you will get to the bottom of your baby's crying jags. On those days when nothing seems to work, send your spouse and angry infant on a long car ride while you unwind in a warm bubble bath. Best-case scenario, baby falls asleep (and stays asleep) for a few hours. Worse-case scenario, you smell a whole lot better for Baby Soothing Round 2 or 3 or 4... S. Danyelle Knight is a regular contributor. |
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