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Any affliction in a child, no matter how minor or severe, can be a parent's greatest trial. They see the threat to their cherished dream of a healthy and happy life, and all they want to do is make it better. A problem like stuttering can be very disheartening for both parent and child because, by all outward appearances, the child is perfectly healthy and normal. Only when he makes attempts to communicate and interact with the rest of the world does the challenge become apparent. Children who have trouble speaking fluently may experience negative emotions as a result. Early on, they may become frustrated at the inability to control their speech and easily communicate their thoughts. Later, as they enter school and begin to socialize more, they may feel ashamed about not being able to speak like other children. That shame can turn into a fear of being teased and laughed at by their peers, which can lead to loneliness and prompt them to go to great lengths to hide their difficulty. The parents of a child who stutters go through their own gauntlet of emotions. Sadness, guilt, a desire to pretend that this is not happening or that it will go away soon, and embarrassment are all some of the feelings that they may experience. If not dealt with, they could lead to feelings of anger or frustration at their child's inability to perform what seems such a simple task. The first, and perhaps most natural, reaction of a parent when a child begins to stutter is to tell the child to "slow down" or "take your time." As simple as it may seem, such advice does nothing to stop stuttering. It could, in spite of the benevolent and loving intentions that may be behind it, actually have a negative impact. Calling that kind of attention to the stutter could lead to frustration and increase the child's concerns about talking. This is a situation where actions speak louder than words. Getting the child to slow down his or her manner of speech is a valid goal. Parents who adopt a more relaxed and unhurried manner of speech themselves when speaking with the child will find setting that example a much more effective way of achieving that goal. Pay attention to the child and understand that what is being said is more important than how it is being said. A definition Stuttering is an interference with normal fluent speech, and the vast majority of people who stutter began to do so in preschool. Even speech pathology specialists, who deal with it every day, can find stuttering a vexing problem to contend with. Dr. Jean Lowry is a speech-language pathologist and a professor in the Department of Speech-Language Pathology and Audiology at Loma Linda University. She says that when children start to stutter, it's generally a result of multiple factors rather than one single cause. Those factors also can weigh differently in different children. "A certain group of factors come together and one child may respond by stuttering," she says. "Another child with those same factors may not. It would be nice if we had something more assuring to parents, to, say, 'Here's the way it is, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.' But people are more complicated than that, and you're dealing with little people." Parents who notice their young child beginning to stutter should not hesitate about seeking professional help, and that help can be as close as the public school system. Under Public Law 94-142, public schools are required to provide assistance to the child in school or pay for appropriate treatment elsewhere. This is something that is very much on the mind of Sharon Feldman, a speech therapist who works with the Riverside Unified School District. "I always would like parents to know that their children can start taking advantage of school services at the age of 3," she says. "With stuttering in particular, the earlier we can start working with them, the better." Dr. Lowry agrees. "We want them to seek good help," she says. "It's important for parents to talk to someone who actually knows about stuttering, who can answer their questions and evaluate the child." She adds that one of the goals of speech pathologists is to work with families as a whole so the stuttering does not stick. "Mom and Dad need to feel good about a therapist, as well as the child needing a good feel about the therapist in order for things to work well." Understand the difficulty Many parents of a child who stutters harbor the fear that the stuttering is a sign of emotional or psychological problems in their child, or even fear that they are somehow at fault and have done something to cause their child's difficulty. Stuttering is a physiological disorder and the evidence does not indicate that it has any emotional or psychological causes. This is a concern that Dr. Lowry often hears from parents and she assures them that "there is not a 'stuttering personality.' "We don't have any reason to believe that parents are causing stuttering." In fact, she sees parents as the child's best asset. "In the end, parents should follow their instincts. The truth is, nobody knows that child like that parent and their instincts are likely to be the best thing for that child. They may need more information, but they can take that information and mold it into who they are and how their family works." There is plenty of support available to the parents of children who stutter, and even to the children themselves. The Stuttering Foundation of America and the National Stuttering Association, located in Anaheim Hills, are two organizations that offer such support. They both offer a wealth of literature, as well as videotapes, to parents, teachers, and medical professionals aimed at educating them about stuttering and how to work with a child who stutters. The National Stuttering Association even offers a newsletter called "Stutter Buddies," with articles written by kids who stutter for other kids who stutter. Maturity helps According to statistics, 4 percent of the population will stutter at some point in their lives, but only 1 percent is stuttering at any given moment. This indicates that the great majority of children who stutter will outgrow the problem or have it alleviated through therapy. As puberty and physiological maturity set in, though, the problem becomes more difficult to deal with. Older children who stutter may find that, while the problem can be controlled to a certain extent through therapy and hard work, the condition may become a chronic one that continues through their adult lives. Sharon Feldman encounters these older kids through her work at Sierra Middle School and Ramona Middle School in Riverside. She wants the kids she works with, and everyone who meets them, to know that "stutterers aren't any different from a normal person other than they have trouble sometimes in speaking. Nobody is perfect in everything. I might have trouble throwing a ball or roller skating. It just happens that stutterers have trouble with talking, and doesn't mean they are any less a person." Feldman knows that these children who stutter are as bright and can have as much potential as any others. She wants to make certain that their stuttering, whether it is completely resolved through therapy or not, should never be an obstacle to following dreams. "I see adults all the time who are in professions that they are really not happy in just because they stutter," she says. Feldman believes that many stutterers have steered away from their preferred choice of a career or profession because of their speech difficulty. "But we have stutterers who are lawyers and stutterers who are physicians," she says. "Just because you stutter doesn't mean you can't pursue a profession that you might be more interested in than something else you might be unhappy with for the rest of your life just because you don't have to talk a lot. That's one of the things with the older kids that we try to get in their minds. They shouldn't let their speech keep them from pursuing a career that they really think they would enjoy." This is something that we should all keep in mind if we meet a child who stutters. That child has as much potential as any other. He or she may easily follow in the footsteps of other stutterers like Jack Welch, former CEO of General Electric, Academy Award-winning actress Julia Roberts, or Winston Churchill, statesman for the ages. Stuttering was certainly not an insurmountable obstacle in their pursuit of success, nor did it matter to people around the world whose lives they have touched and influenced. REFRIGERATOR CLIP 10 tips for parents of stutterers ¨ Speak with your child in an unhurried way, pausing frequently. ¨ Reduce the number of questions you ask your child. ¨ Use your facial expressions and other body language to convey to your child that you are listening to the content of his or her message and not to how he or she is talking. ¨ Set aside a few minutes at a regular time each day when you can give your undivided attention to your child. ¨ Talk openly with your child about stuttering if he or she expresses a desire to do so, but do not make a big issue out of it. ¨ Do not push your child to speak on days when he or she is having particular difficulty. ¨ Do not ask your child to stop and start over when he or she stutters. ¨ Help all members of the family learn to take turns when talking and listening. ¨ Observe the way you interact with your child. ¨ Above all, convey that you accept your child as he or she is. These tips were compiled from information available through the Stuttering Foundation of America and the National Stuttering Association. The National Stuttering Association 5100 E. La Palma Ave., Suite 208, Anaheim Hills, CA 92807 800.364.1677 714.693.7554, fax www.nsastutter.org The Stuttering Foundation of America P.O. Box 11749, Memphis, TN 38111-0749 901.452.7343 901.452.3931, fax www.stutteringhelp.org |
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