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Cell phones and children’s use Ask any group of parents about children and cell phones and you’ll get lots of opinions along with a bit of disagreement. For some parents, giving their child a cell phone has brought peace of mind. Leila Heim, who bought one for her 12-year-old daughter, is happy with the decision. “What I like about it is that she has it with her when she walks to school alone, and she can let me know, on short notice, if she has a change of plans after school. I also let her 9-year-old brother borrow it when he and a friend go skateboarding at the nearby elementary school.” “Once kids reach a level of independence that puts them out of immediate parenting range, a new set of concerns sets in. Concern for their safety and concern that we know where they are and what they are doing,” says Jenifer Marshall Lippincott, a teacher, mother of two teenage daughters and co-author of “7 Things Your Teens Won’t Tell You (And How to Talk About Them Anyway).” “To the extent that cell phones enable families to stay in touch and feel safe, they are invaluable.” “We got our daughter a cell phone for her 12th birthday, mainly because she’s now 30 minutes away when she’s at school,” says Denise Van Deuren, whose daughter attends a private school. “It has proven to be a great decision. She has called me on the bus to let me know there was a delay leaving the school. She has called me from school to let me know a rehearsal was cancelled, etc. I feel so much better dropping her off somewhere, knowing she can always call me.” Other parents have decided to give it some time. “I very much believe that our kids grow up too quickly, and I practice what I believe will keep them children longer,” says one mother of an 11-year-old and twin 7-year-old daughters. She has decided to wait to buy a cell phone, even for her older daughter, until her children “are at an age where they spend significant time on their own.” Still another family has found what they consider to be a happy medium: “We have an old cell phone that the kids share. No one has it all the time,” says Laura Inlow, whose two sons are ages 11 and 9. “It is given to whoever is going to need it and it has been very helpful in coordinating pick-up from sports, parties, etc. If they are going to be walking somewhere or be on their own, it makes us feel better that they could call us if they need us and we can check up on them. To date, neither of them has abused it or lost it. I’m knocking on wood!” “I think middle school is the appropriate age to start using a cell phone – as kids are starting to get more independent,” says parenting expert Michael H. Popkin, author of “52 Weeks of Active Parenting.” “It’s a way to monitor your kids as they start to break away from home.” Before middle school, children don’t need a cell phone, says Popkin. “The safety point is gone, and it’s just an expensive toy.” Kathy Sena is a freelance journalist who frequently covers parenting issues. Visit her website at kathysena.com. |
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