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Establishing the rules When Kate Kelly, author of "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Parenting a Teenager," speaks to groups of parents, the biggest complaint she hears about cell phones is: "I gave him a phone so I could get in touch with him, but he never picks up the phone when I call." Kelly, the mother of two adult daughters and a 16-year-old daughter, believes that cell phones are a privilege. "If they aren't answering the phone when the parent calls, then the phone should be taken away for a limited and specified period of time," she says. "With privilege comes responsibility." Michael H. Popkin, author of "52 Weeks of Active Parenting," suggests using a written agreement to be signed by both parent and child. Here are a few areas to consider: • Usage limit. Go over your cell-phone plan with your child and determine how many minutes/dollars are allowed per month. Decide what you will pay for and what your child is expected to cover. • Phone curfew. "No phone calls may be made or received after 10 p.m.," for example. • No phone use during class time. Many schools have this policy, but it's helpful for parents to reinforce the rule. (That goes for text messaging, too. In fact, some schools have reported students cheating on tests via text-messaging - another reason for the ban.) • Respect privacy. No taking pictures or recording conversations without someone's knowledge. • No cell-phone use while riding in the car with mom or dad. This is a time for family members to catch up with each other. • No cell phone use while driving, or riding with a friend who is using a cell phone while driving. Parents of teens should make this potentially live-saving rule very clear. Kathy Sena is a freelance journalist who frequently covers parenting issues. Website: kathysena.com. Today's world Speaking out in a sexualized world Newsday recently published a report on the growing frankness of television and the need for parents to talk their children through a world of sexual imagery. According to the story, parents shouldn't avoid the topic. "Too many parents are silent on the subject, avoiding the conversation because they're either too afraid, uneasy, or unsure about what to say," writes reporter Pat Burson. Warns Elena Sanchez, a marriage and family therapist: If parents are not talking to their children, then "television is. Computers are. The Internet is." Many believe that children have seen more "sexually explicit material before high school than some parents have seen in their whole lives," Burson writes. The fact that many of today's parents didn't talk to their own father or mother about sex may be missing the reality of today's world. Most experts say parents shouldn't rely on the child's school to provide complete sex education. In fact, many parents object to that kind of education. However, someone needs to provide a forum for the child. The parent remains the best adviser. The story can be found at: newsday.com/entertainment/ny-adcova4963395nov06,0,4213904.story?coll=ny-entertainment-promo Ripple Kids, Inc. New program teaches them to give back. Showing kids they can take action and make a difference in the world, the nonprofit Tustin-based organization, Ripple Kids, Inc., has created a nationwide place for inspiration. Started by Bridget Belden in 2003 after being motivated by her own charitable two children, Ripple Kids, Inc. features youth who are changing their community. The organization hopes that a "ripple effect" will cause other kids to follow in their footsteps. "We have a lot to learn from kids," Belden says. "They think not 'if' but 'I can.'" Kids register on the website (www.ripplekids.com), read about others who have helped their community, get inspired and share ideas. On the website there is a list of volunteering options and organizations: Just plug in a zip code and it will show local opportunities. "They're [kids] an invaluable resource, and parents overlook their ability," Belden says. "It doesn't matter what the end result is as long as they're taking action." Whether it's having a bake sale with proceeds going to Hurricane Katrina victims or donating one's hair to Locks of Love, an organization that makes wigs for children with cancer, Ripple Kids, Inc. doesn't focus on how big the contribution is but that kids are actually trying to contribute to their community and world. Information about the Ripple Kids program can be obtained online or at 714.602.2295. |
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