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The challenge of the modern mother is to instill good values in her children, notes a new poll. Today's moms, some 82 million women who still have children in the home, recognize that motherhood is a hard job, but one in which they are optimistic to undertake. A recent "Voice of Mom" poll was conducted by ClubMom, a national membership organization. Among its other findings: • 90% of those polled say that their husbands recognize and appreciate the job that they do, and that nearly half of all dads (49%) split the responsibility of raising the children equally with their spouse. • Having children strengthens marriages, 69% of moms agree. • Nearly two-thirds of them (64%) are in the work force - 43% full time and 21% part time. But for the most part, they say it is a myth that there is tension between those who choose or have to work and those who are at-home moms. • How much is their work as mothers worth? Some 30% say they deserve $50,000 a year; 29% say between $50,000 and $100,000; and 21% say more than $100,000. • The primary challenge is teaching values to children (42%), followed by protecting young ones from harm (26%). Despite the incessant inroads made by pop culture, only 14% of those polled are very worried about having to compete with TV, music, movies and the Internet in their quest to shape a value system. • Among the big issues, education is first, say 40%. The ClubMom "Voice of Mom" poll reached 1,207 respondents in March. Margin of error, plus or minus 3.1%. Information: clubmom.com. More Than Lunch Ways to fire up the communication In October, we published a survey that shows that a lot of food is traded, and much of it ends up in the trash at school. A new book, "Lunch Bag Notes" (by Ann Marie Parisi and Al Parisi, Loyola Press, 197 pages, $13.95), is about keeping the lines of communication from ending up in the trash heap. It's about communication between parent and teen. The subtitle is, "Everyday Advice from a Dad to his Daughter." Once you get by the too-long introduction, the format is appealing and, more importantly, helpful. On the left page is a letter to his daughter and on the right questions for a parent and lines in which to take your own personal notes. Themes range from friendship to attitude to failure. The book, if used as proposed, becomes a journal that can be referenced time and again. Family Dinners Make it a full-course time together Mealtime may be more important than you think. According to a University of Michigan study, family dinners at home is the single strongest predictor for better achievement scores and fewer behavioral problems. Research shows that kids who have dinner with their families are less likely to use drugs and alcohol, get better grades and have lower rates of early sexual behavior and suicide. Yet, the dinner hour is disappearing, with the number of families who have dinner regularly decreasing 33% over the past 30 years. Julienne Smith of Yorba Linda hopes to rejuvenate the family dinner hour and bring families together, one conversation at a time. The mother of three recently launched "Food for Talk - Bringing Families Together One Conversation at a Time" after seeing the benefits first hand with her three children. "Food for Talk" features a recipe box of 200 cards designed to transform the "How was your day?" humdrum into meaningful, genuine discussions. Besides strengthening family bonds, the cards - which feature such questions as "What is your best character trait?" - serve as an entertainment tool during summer travel while in the car or riding on the plane. For more information, visit www.foodfortalk.net. Images in Focus Cox Communication's, John Walsh join forces to examine content Research conducted on behalf of Cox Communications, Inc., reveals that 85 percent of American parents say they are concerned about the images their children see on TV programs and websites. Forming an alliance with children's advocate and TV host John Walsh, Cox has launched "Take Charge! Smart Choices for Your Cox Digital Home" to help parents better manage their family's mass media experience. "Although many people want to better manage their kids' exposure to things they find objectionable, a lack of time and knowledge often prevents them from doing so," notes Walsh, the tireless crusader for victims' rights and missing children and host of "America's Most Wanted." "That's why Cox's Take Charge! program provides parents with proactive, easy-to-use tools and resources to promote safe and smart usage." Through an easy-to-use, comprehensive new website (www.cox.com/takecharge) and a free resource guide, Cox will also provide Orange County families with tools and resources to help them not only block content they find objectionable, but identify and get the most enjoyment out of exciting family-friendly content. "We took a snapshot of the American mindset and gauged concerns about the content available via broadband and digital technologies," says Leo Brennan, vice president and region manager of Cox Communications, Orange County/Palos Verdes. "It became clear that parents enjoy having so many choices for their entertainment and news, but they want help in monitoring and making the most of the mass media content coming into their homes. That's why we launched Take Charge! to empower parents in Orange County and nationwide." Findings of two national surveys conducted for Cox by Ketchum Global Research Network include: • More than half of American parents surveyed are either somewhat or very concerned about their children seeing images from the war in Iraq. • Respondents are most concerned about the appropriateness of online content. Outranking TV programs, movies, video games, and print media, Internet sites were named by 40 percent of parents as their No. 1 concern when it comes to inappropriate content. • Sexual images are considered more objectionable than other kinds of content. When it comes to TV, 51 percent of parents surveyed cited sexual content as most objectionable (over violence, reality TV, and war coverage), while 56 percent rated it as the most disturbing content on the Internet (over spam, open chat rooms and violent images). • Almost all respondents believe they should be responsible for ensuring that their children use technology appropriately, yet they want help in doing so. In fact, 71 percent of respondents indicated they are interested in having a printed or online guide to help identify family-appropriate content, as well as how to block inappropriate content. A Viewing Solution 6 tips for toddlers beyond TV An organization helping busy families has come up with six ways to manage toddlers that go beyond numbing TV watching. Quoting an American Academy of Pediatrics study that indicates a link between TV viewing by young children and attention deficit disorder problems, GoBabies, Inc. suggests options in the multimedia arena. Here are the tips from Maura White, CEO and founder of GoBabies, Inc., which also is co-producer with Burkewood Communications Corp. of the "GoBabies Alphabet Road" video series: • Look for slower, more naturally paced programs: An April 5 issue of Pediatrics points to the problem of rapidly changing images in much of today's programming. Look for videos with a calm, more natural pace. • Incorporate reality-based programming into your video library: When children see realistic images on the screen, they will better be able to identify those objects when they see them in real life. • Select programs that foster interactivity: These kinds of programs encourage the child to solve a problem, find an object, compare sizes, identify colors and shape, and build memory skills. • Pick programs with show-and-tell features: Look for videos where children are given instructions to sing, jump, clap and make hand signals, for example. • Coordinate parent/child activities: Although it is tempting to use the VCR as an electronic babysitter when you have something else you need to do, use your child's video collection as a launching point for games and discussions with your child. • Choose shorter programs: Manage your child's time in front of the screen based on your schedule, their interests, and what you want them to learn. Fire Alert Change clock, change batteries This month, daylight-saving time ends at 2 a.m. Oct. 31. Right now, today, may be the moment to do something you should do every time the clock changes: Change the batteries in your fire detection alarms. Tragic home fire deaths occur in communities nationwide each year. Approximately 1,000 children under the age of 20 die annually in house fires - an average of nearly three children per day. The simple practice of making sure homes have a working smoke detector can dramatically reduce this number. This is why the International Association of Fire Chiefs (IAFC), Energizer and more than 5,400 fire departments across the country are urging communities nationwide to adopt the lifesaving "Change Your Clock, Change Your Battery" habit before Oct. 31. Although smoke alarms are present in 95 percent of American homes, 20 percent do not work due to worn or missing batteries. This means that nearly 19 million homes are at needless risk. By adopting the simple "Change Your Clock, Change Your Battery" habit, and ensuring a working smoke alarm, Americans can cut their chance of dying in a home fire nearly in half. "The peak time for home fire fatalities is between 10 p.m. and 6 a.m. when most families are sleeping," says Chief Bob DiPoli, president of the IAFC. "Smoke alarm maintenance is a simple, effective way to reduce home fire deaths. Children and senior citizens are most at risk, and a working smoke alarm can give you the extra seconds you need to get out safely." Now in its 17th year, the "Change Your Clock, Change Your Battery" message reaches millions of children, senior citizens, and families in communities nationwide. The IAFC is a nonprofit professional organization representing more than 12,000 chief fire officers and emergency services leaders worldwide. Sources: National Fire Protection Association, International Association of Fire Chiefs, Sense of Smell Institute FAMILY FINANCE By Jonathan Fagan The Future Don't think you need an estate plan? Think again, and reconsider You've been accumulating assets and saving since entering the work force, but do you have a plan for these assets after your death? Most people think they do not need an estate plan: Do any of these reasons sound familiar? • I don't have enough assets to worry about estate taxes. There are a number of non-tax reasons for estate planning. If you have not done any planning, state law determines where your assets will pass when you die. There's no guarantee the legal system will make the same decisions you would have made. Putting your directions in your estate plan is the only way to ensure that your wishes are followed. In your will, you can also determine a personal representative who will handle your estate when you die. Parents can nominate who will take care of their minor children. Although the court makes the final appointment, naming a guardian ensures your wishes are known, and in most cases, followed. • I already have a will. Some situations are more complex and may require more than a will. Non-traditional family dynamics, tax planning issues and privacy concerns might be better handled through a trust. Even if your will plans for the distribution of property, do not forget to address incapacity. You should consider naming someone as the financial power of attorney to handle your monetary affairs and someone to be your health care power of attorney to make those decisions if you can't. • The estate tax has been repealed. It's true the estate tax has been repealed, but so far only in 2010 and it will be replaced with income or capital gains tax. The following year, the changes will "sunset" back to the original estate tax law of 2001. If you do not want your heirs to pay taxes on your estate, you will have to die in 2010. Over the next several years, the amount that can be passed at death free of estate tax will increase and the estate tax rates will decrease. Because everyone's situation is unique, it is important that you work with planning professionals to be sure your goals are met. They can help you prepare a plan that meets your objectives and helps reduce or eliminate your taxes, create liquidity for any taxes that are due and help keep your estate intact for your beneficiaries. HELPING HAND By Sandy Bennett Getting Help Domestic Violence Awareness Month The message that immediately pops up on the website of the National Domestic Violence Hotline not only sends a chill but zeroes in on the fear and danger that surround domestic violence: "SAFETY ALERT: Computer use can be monitored and is impossible to completely clear. If you are afraid your Internet and/or computer usage might be monitored, please use a safer computer..." No wonder. According to statistics from the NDVH: • Nearly one-third of American women (31 percent) report being physically or sexually abused by a husband or boyfriend at some point in their lives. • 31,260 women were murdered by an intimate from 1976-1996. • An estimated 503,485 women are stalked by an intimate partner each year in the United States. • Studies show that child abuse occurs in 30-60% of family violence cases that involve families with children. To help bring attention to this devastating - and many times deadly - family issue, President George Bush designated October last year as National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. For those who are a victim or fear you and your family may be at risk, the first step is to seek help. From counseling and assistance in obtaining a restraining order to emergency shelters and low-cost housing, a number of programs are available. Human Options, for example, operates one of four emergency shelters in Orange County. Accommodations, including housing, counseling, social and healing services, are provided to battered women and their children for 45 days. The Irvine-based nonprofit agency also offers affordable low-cost housing and support services for one year to families who have attended an emergency shelter program. In addition, its Community Resource Center in Costa Mesa provides various counseling programs, group sessions and legal assistance. And this is just a sample of the services available. For a list of resources in Orange County, visit www.dhs.ca.gov/epic/fvrefer/orange.htm or call Info Link Orange County at 888.600.4357 for a referral. Human Options can be reached by calling 949.854.3554. Sandy Bennett is associate editor at OC Family Magazine. Family News Bites SKATEBOARD MOMS MAKE PEOPLE OC Family Magazine's June '04 issue featured skateboarding's oxymoron - moms. Barbara Odanaka, who skateboards INSIDE her Laguna Beach home, wanted company - gals her own age - that love skateboarding as much as she does. So she organized the first annual Mighty Mama Skate-O-Rama which was held at the Laguna Niguel skate park. She has established the International Society of Skateboarding Moms. And, Odanaka has written a children's book, "Skateboard Mom," (G.P. Putnam's Sons). Since our June profile, Odanaka was the cover story subject in USA TODAY, ("Dude, that's my mom!" Life Section, June 30) and has been featured, along with her skateboarding pals, in PEOPLE Magazine! READING TIME IS LOW IN OC Santa Ana and Anaheim rank among the lowest in reading time, according to a new national survey. The cities ranked 76th and 74th, respectively, among 79 in a University of Wisconsin-Whitewater study, "America's Most Literate Cities 2004." The study attempts to measure ways to promote literacy. The scored categories were educational attainment; booksellers; newspaper circulation; library resources; and number of published periodicals. Ranking the highest were Minneapolis, Seattle, Pittsburgh, Madison, Wis., and Cincinnati. The bottom three were Corpus Christi, Texas, Hialeah, Fla., and El Paso, Texas. WALK TO CURE DIABETES Thousands of walkers will convene this month at two separate events to raise funds for the fight against juvenile diabetes. Craig Regional Park in Fullerton will be the site of the Oct. 10 walk, followed by another walk on Oct. 24 at Verizon/Hidden Valley Park in Irvine. A 2- to 3- mile walk, entertainment, food and a health fair are also planned by the Orange County Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation. Juvenile diabetes, or type 1 diabetes, is a costly, chronic disease that strikes children and adults and makes them insulin dependent for life. Last year, more than $73 million was raised nationally through Walk to Cure Diabetes. OC Family Magazine is a sponsor of these events. Information: 949.553.0363 or www.jdrf.org. MATERNITY/BABY STORE OPENS A leading maternity/baby lifestyle brand, babystyle, recently opened its second store in Orange County, at The Shops at Mission Viejo. The 2,683-square-foot store is located on the 2nd level in the Robinson-May wing between the food court and baby play area. babystyle offers an assortment of stylish and unique products for moms-to-be, babies and kids. BOYS & GIRLS CLUB AWARDED $50,000 GRANT The Boys & Girls Club of Fullerton will soon be able to serve as many as 500 more children, thanks to a $50,000 grant; part of an $80 million appropriation from Congress to the Boys & Girls Club of America. The facility, which has served Fullerton for 53 years, provides daily services and programs to nearly 4,000 young people at its four sites. SENIORS AWARDED SCHOLARSHIPS The Capistrano Unified School District Foundation has awarded scholarships ranging from $500 to $1,000 to 15 seniors. Scholarships were awarded based on the student's academic accomplishments, financial need, diversity and essays submitted to the foundation. Recipients are from Aliso Niguel High, Capistrano Valley High, Dana Hills Hill, Junipero Serra High, San Clemente High and Tesoro High. SAN CLEMENTE STUDENT EARNS HONOR Sarah Kramer of San Clemente is among 14 California students to receive a scholarship from the United Agribusiness League. The organization awarded $40,000 to 17 students on the west coast to assist them in their continued study of agriculture and related fields. TUSTIN RECEIVES FUNDS FOR AFTERSCHOOL SITES Camp Fire USA Orange County claims a share of a $27 million grant under the 21st Century Community Learning Centers program, designed to keep disadvantaged children safe and on track academically. Camp Fire will be funded for three sites in the Tustin Unified School District: Heideman Elementary, Lambert Elementary and Currie Middle School. MAKE A WISH HONORS CHILD AMBASSADOR Shelby Kwait of Laguna Niguel was recently honored for her work as a child ambassador for the Make-A-Wish Foundation. Her efforts fulfilled a wish for an ill child she didn't even know. This spring, Kwait, a cancer survivor, along with the Laguna Niguel Girls Softball league, Dana Hills High School students and other volunteers, sponsored a Hit-A-Thon that raised more than $13,000. After the event, Kwait was told about Tyler Gilbert, a 17-year-old Dana Hills High student suffering from a complex congenital heart disease who happens to live in her own neighborhood. His wish to spend a day in a recording studio was granted. - Reported and compiled by OC Family Magazine staff |
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