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She's leaving home Saying goodbye to that student of yours To those parents whose children have left for a faraway college (defined as the inability to quickly drive home), most have recently said goodbye. And to those whose children will be moving out...If there is a need for additional tips about how to say the right thing, and to be supportive, read on: Parents would do well to remember their first experience of leaving home. For many it came easily, but for some it was accompanied by stress and for others conflict. This experience of leaving home is important psychologically for children, who are now young adults, and parents alike. The experience can set the tone for the next stage of family development, the adult-to-adult relationship with your child. No more telling a child what to do. After managing through adolescence, parents are faced with the fact that their child is a young adult. Long gone are the days of parental authority. Consider these suggestions: • Talk with your son or daughter about their feelings of leaving home. Don't push on whether they will miss you, as this feeling might actually be your own. If it doesn't come up, then maybe the thought hasn't crossed their mind in the excitement of the experience. • Reminisce with them about their growing up and the pleasures you have had along the way. Marvel at their growth and accomplishments and your anticipation of future accomplishments. • Plan well for the departure so the actual moment isn't fraught with last-minute errands or conflicts. Offer your help and be prepared to stand back or jump in - only as requested or discussed. Your hand is no longer attached to the bicycle seat and you have to let go, again. – By Gary Direnfeld Gary Direnfeld is a social worker, child-behavior expert, and author of "Raising Kids Without Raising Cane" (Secrets of the Trade, 1992). Clocks & Batteries As daylight-saving time ends, update smoke alarms About 1,000 children under the age of 20 die each year in American house fires. An annual campaign, "Change Your Clock, Change Your Battery," reminds parents that as they change back their clocks one hour on Oct. 26, they also change the batteries in their smoke alarms. That's the day daylight-saving time ends. Research has shown that non-working smoke alarms often are the cause of injuries and death due to fire and smoke. "Smoke alarm maintenance is a simple, effective way to reduce home fire deaths," says Chief Ernie Mitchell, president of the International Association of Fire Chiefs. For the past 16 years, the IAFC and Energizer, the battery company, have co-sponsored the campaign. Among this year's tips: 1. Plan, discuss and practice a fire escape route with your family. 2. Keep fire-starting materials away from children. These include lighters, matches, cigarettes, cigars and pipes. 3. Space heaters need space, at least three feet of clearance. And turn them off when you leave the room or go to sleep. 4. Remember that the peak time for home fire fatalities is between 10 p.m. and 6 a.m., when most people are asleep. A working smoke alarm cuts the risk of dying in a home fire nearly in half by providing an early warning and critical seconds in which to escape. Hearing Loss Proper protection is critical to guarding the ears Kids love music. But sometimes music can be loved to the point of impairing a child's hearing. Referred to as noise-induced hearing loss, the impairment can occur when an individual is overexposed to excessive sound. This includes an intense brief impulse of noise, such as a firecracker, as well as exposure to continuous loud sound over time. The playing of boom boxes, use of headphones and participation in a school band represent areas where volumes often are too high. Other sources include lawn mowers and power tools. Parents can take a number of steps to guard against noise-induced hearing loss, which is both cumulative and permanent. "The more people realize they need to wear ear protection, the better," says audiologist Jane Steckler, owner of Practical Hearing in Fullerton. "The problem is that people, men particularly, think they are too macho to wear them." Kids and dads, for example, she says, should wear earmuffs while mowing the lawn or working with power tools. Those who play musical instruments, particularly in a school band, should wear protection as well. Unlike typical sponge-type ear protectors, musician earplugs do not distort the sound. Individuals, says Steckler, can opt for a custom-fitted pair which costs around $150, or purchase a one-size-fits-most version for $15. Families also need to be cautious of the use of headphones. If others can hear sound coming from a child's headphones, the volume is at an unsafe level. In fact, some experts believe there is no safe way to use headphones, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics. One of the best ways to protect the hearing is not to use headphones at all. It's no Fun Obese children report lower quality of life Some 1-in-7 American children are obese, but little else is known about this group. How do overweight kids and adolescents cope with their bodies in the era of rail-thin Hollywood stars and high school diet plans? What can be done to undo negative effects? Doctors at Children's Hospital and Health Center in San Diego decided to find the answers to these questions by asking hundreds of healthy, obese and cancer-diagnosed children and adolescents to measure the quality of their own lives, based on a physical, social, and academic criteria. Obese children overwhelmingly reported lower quality of life than their healthy peers - scoring just 67 points out of 100, to the healthy children's 83 - and ranked nearly equal with the juvenile cancer patients. The obese students also reported skipping school far more than their healthy counterparts, opting to stay home rather than endure teasing and weight-related ailments. Partly because of this absence, the study revealed that obese children and teens are four times more likely to have academic trouble in school than are healthy students. The best remedy remains the same as always: healthy eating and moderate exercise. With the wave of unhealthy foods showing no signs of disappearing, parents must work with their obese children and teens to correct unhealthy diets and begin exercise regimens. Otherwise, these children may later encounter complications from childhood obesity - including heart disease, diabetes, and liver dysfunction - that can last a lifetime. - By Jeremy Beecher Keeping Kids Safe Unintentional injuries still the No. 1 killer of kids Despite a decline by nearly 40 percent from 1987-2000, unintentional injuries remain the No. 1 killer in the United States for children age 14 and under, according to a study by the National SAFE KIDS Campaign and Johnson & Johnson. Each year, unintentional injuries claim more than 5,600 children's lives - or an average 15 kids daily. There also were more than 11.8 million medical visits for unintentional injury among this age group in 2000 - or one injury visit for every five children. Most heartbreaking is that these injuries and deaths could have been prevented. Many parents, however, are unaware of the full impact they can have on their child's safety. Although 71 percent of parents surveyed by Harris Interactive either "strongly" or "somewhat" agree that most injuries can be avoided, an equal percentage say injuries are a normal part of childhood. Furthermore, 91 percent of parents "strongly" or "somewhat" agree they are doing everything they can to prevent their child from being injured. "Parents and caregivers are obviously uncertain how much of an impact they can have on their child's safety," says Dr. Martin Eichelberger, president of SAFE KIDS and director of emergency Trauma and Burn Services at Children's National Medical Center in Washington, D.C. "More can be done to keep kids safe. "Childhood injuries are not inevitable; they are preventable." The study showed the greatest areas of concern include motor vehicle occupant injuries, airway obstruction deaths and drownings. Motor vehicle occupant injuries are the leading cause of injury-related deaths among children; drownings rank second. The airway obstruction death rate represents an area where no progress has been made among infants under age 1. n SAFE KIDS is a national nonprofit organization dedicated solely to the prevention of unintentional childhood injury. Information: www.safekids.org. 10 years later A look at the Family & Medical Leave Act More than 40 million Americans have taken job-protected time off work to care for new babies, elderly parents, sick children, or to recuperate from an illness themselves, thanks to the Family & Medical Leave Act (FMLA), established 10 years ago. Considered one of the most significant steps toward balancing work and family life, the law allows workers up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave. Some 42 percent of those who take leave under FMLA are men caring for a newborn or newly adopted child. The architect for the FMLA was the National Partnership for Women & Families. After almost 10 years of campaigning for Congress to pass it, a move that served to eliminate stereotypes of women as the only caregivers, the law was enacted in August 1993. Even though employees are allowed the unpaid time off, too many workers can't afford to take the time off. According to the National Partnership for Women & Families, 3.5 million people who needed leave, were not able to take it siting loss of income as the reason. California, however, was the first state in the nation to adopt a comprehensive paid family leave law. Funded through the State Disability Insurance program, the law provides six weeks of partial pay to workers who need leave to care for a new child or seriously ill family member. Information: www.dol.gov/esa/whd/fmla/ |
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