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When I told my wife I would be out of town for Father's Day, she asked, "Why?" I answered, "Why not?" The response wasn't to minimize the day's importance but to underscore its little impact. That said, while Father's Day this June 20 may come and go with barely a whisper, the role fathers play in everyday family lives continues to grow. The Feature story in the June issue addressed their importance in one aspect. Here are some additional figures, as well as a gift idea: • Neckties remain a big-item gift. Men's clothing stores last year reported sales around $800 million. • Some 25.8 million fathers are part of a married-couple family with at least one under-18 child at home, according to the U.S. Census. Of those, 20% have 3 or more children under 18; 10% are raising babies under 1 year old; 12.5% of these dads are under 30; and 4% of dads in this group are 55 or over. • The number of single fathers is growing, to 2 million from 393,000 in 1970. In that period, the number of single fathers who comprise single parenthood is 1-in-6, compared to 1-in-10 back then, the Census reports. By Craig Reem House Hunt The high cost of living puts a crimp on families Time magazine's recent cover story ("The Case For Staying Home: Why more young moms are opting out of the rat race," March 22 issue) was a fine read. A side story about mortgage payments and dad's income brought the family component into full focus. It put into perspective why so many women work outside of the home. As the author, Amelia Warren Tyagi, argues, it's not because mom wants the giant-sized SUV or a heart-shaped, Olympic-sized pool. It is to make ends meet. It is about food on the table and maybe a hamster in a cage. Most stunning is her assertion that since the mid-1970s, "the amount earmarked for the mortgage has increased a whopping 69%. At the same time, the average father's income increased less than 1%." Tyagi is co-author of "The Two-Income Trap: Why Middle-Class Mothers & Fathers Are Going Broke." Recently, the Orange County Register noted that Orange County's median home price had skyrocketed past the half-million mark, to $523,000. And, for the first time, median house prices in Riverside County broke the $300,000 barrier. The median price represents half of homes sold below that number, and half sold above it. This is nothing to cheer about. In fact, for anyone who understands the difficulty of a young family getting into that first home, it seems patently unfair. Homeownership is an American Dream; more and more, it appears to be a pipe dream. Around these parts, affordability often means that mom has to work. Summer Learning Make the most of time off to have time on Students can blend learning with leisure during the hot summer months. Here are some ideas: • Encourage readers to reach for more challenging material. The American Library Association and the Young Adult Library Services Association has a website of recommended books for young adults (www.ala.org/ala/yalsa). And remember the classics: "The Call of the Wild," "Wuthering Heights," "Treasure Island," "Little Women," "Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea." • Hit the library rather than the video store. Students should read a book first. • Encourage independent learning projects: Focus on favorite subjects and spend additional hours learning and discovering and pursuing those special interests. Sources: Dr. Raymond Huntington and Eileen Huntington, co-founders, Huntington Learning Center. Information: 800.CAN.LEARN. Custody Fights The State Supreme Court on child's welfare Many Californians know the story of the child who moves a long distance away with one separated or divorced parent and then suffers the strain of long plane flights and little connection with the parent left behind. The California Supreme Court recently tightened the rights of a divorced parent to move far away by deciding that a child's welfare trumps all disputes. Until the 6-1 decision, a parent holding custody of the child could move to another state even if the other parent objected. The 8-year-old standard had been defined as the "need for continuity and stability in custody arrangements." Now the court says family court judges must first consider the "best interests of the children." Since the mother typically has custody of the children, a firestorm of legal protest is expected. "It is unrealistic, if not dangerous, to require custodial families to remain in the same location throughout a child's minority, especially if such confinement is at the significant cost to the custodial family's ability to start a new and potentially improved life," the California Women's Law Center wrote the justices. Happy, Happy A recipe in book form for families If happiness is difficult to achieve, and families present the most complicated of challenges, can the 2 worlds share the same stage? The argument from author David Niven is yes. He has written several books for people to be happy, successful and healthy, and for relationships to be great. He has also most recently penned "The 100 Simple Secrets of Happy Families." The hook from Niven, a psychologist and social scientist who teaches at Florida Atlantic University, is his resource base - studies on families published in the past 10 years. Some of those "secrets," as chapter titles, immediately make sense upon reading, such as "Express Your Love," "Listen Without Judgment," "Find a Community That Fits Your Family," and "Emotions Last Longer Than Events." Others require a more careful reading, and perhaps a change in approach, such as "Another View Is a Strength, Not a Weakness," and "All Talk Is Not Equal." Writes Niven about expectations: "Children who fail to conform to our fantasy images will feel like failures, while children who do conform will feel trapped in a life not of their own choosing." The scary part of this excellent family book is that it is the parent who will find that he or she must change the most, not the least, to bring happiness - and lasting happiness. Each chapter ends with a statistic from a particular study, which is sourced in the back. This book instructs all families at any level of contentment. Those who read it with an open mind will learn much. For me, one of the most important lessons came from pg. 101: "What can you do to feel more supported? Give more support..." "The 100 Simple Secrets of Happy Families," by David Niven (HarperSanFrancisco), $11.95, 224 pages. By Craig Reem Teens at Work A parent checklist, 9-to-5 Here is information and a tip sheet for parents as approximately 4 million American teens work this summer. You need to make certain your youngster is doing more than earning a dollar. Is he happy? And, is he safe? • Teens are twice as likely to receive injuries on the job as adults, so remind them to be careful. • Most injuries occur in retail stores, restaurants and grocery stores, where two-thirds of teens work. • Part of the challenge is that teens, as part-time workers, often don't receive the appropriate or adequate job safety training. Remind them to ask for specific guidance. • Parents ought to check with their teens' employer and find out whether any supervisors have CPR training, or first-aid training, whether the company conducts sex offender or criminal background checks. Also, check with the state Department of Labor to determine if the employer has been cited for child labor relations violations. • Finally, do your own visit to see if the worksite is safe. This way, you can give it your personal once-over. Sources: National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health; Centers for Disease Control; and National Academy of Scientists Institute of Medicine. FAMILY NEWS BITES OC FAMILY WRITER EARNS AWARD Michael J. Medley, senior writer for OC Family Magazine's sister publication, Inland Empire Family Magazine, has earned a national award from The Stuttering Foundation. Medley, whose story appeared in the June 2003 editions of both magazines, won a second place in the Magazine Category. His story was headlined, "Say the Right Thing," and his 10 tips for parents of children who stutter was held up as a valuable resource. STUDENTS RECEIVE $96,000 IN SCHOLARSHIPS The Irvine Co. recently awarded $96,000 in scholarship funds to high school students who best demonstrated the qualities necessary to become future community leaders. Recipients were selected based on a number of leadership criteria, including community service, extracurricular activities, academic achievement and other accomplishments or qualities that demonstrate one's potential to be a future leader. Students also must be a college-bound senior from one of 15 participating high schools in the Irvine, Laguna Newport-Mesa, Tustin and Orange school districts. This year's finalists, each of whom received $10,000 in scholarship funds, are: Brent Godfrey, Irvine High School; Evan Hirsch, Corona del Mar High School; Rebecca Johnson, Laguna Beach High School; and Leobardo Velazquez, Tustin High School. An additional 26 high school seniors, each of whom received at least $2,000 in scholarship funds, also were honored. These funds can be used for tuition, books, fees or other expenses associated with college. The Irvine Co. has been sponsoring the Student Leadership Awards program for 18 years. Since its inception, the program has provided scholarship funds to more than 500 students. THE FOOD BANK'S GOAL FOR NUTRITION More than 170,000 Orange County children rely on free or reduced-price lunches during the school year, but what happens to them during the summer months when school is out? The Second Harvest Food Bank of Orange County intends to continue feeding hungry, low-income children throughout the summer through its new Kids Café program. The federally funded program offers meals and snacks through partnerships with local youth programs. Summer feeding sites include Boys and Girls Clubs in Fullerton, Stanton, Anaheim, Westminster and Garden Grove. Information: 714.685.3167. BLANKETS FOR TRAUMATIZED KIDS Orange County Girl Scouts gathered recently to hand over more than 1,800 blankets they knitted, knotted and crocheted for needy children. The blankets will be donated to the Binky Patrol Comforting Covers for Kids organization. The gifts will be distributed to emergency and disaster relief centers to comfort children and teens who are victims of disasters and other traumatic situations. GRANT TO ST. MARGARET'S EPISCOPAL SCHOOL Lawrence and Kristina Dodge have announced a challenge grant that will match all endowment contributions raised for St. Margaret's Episcopal School from April through December, up to $10 million. The grant is the latest investment in education by the Dodges and comes on the heels of their announcement earlier this year of a $20 million gift to Chapman University's film school that will be renamed the Lawrence and Kristina Dodge College of Film and Media Arts. WISHLAND OPENS FOR SERIOUSLY ILL CHILDREN Children with life-threatening diseases can enjoy a few days of stress-free fun with their families, thanks to the efforts of Laurie Kotas, founder of Wishland. Currently located in its temporary facility at the Marriott Residence Inn in Anaheim, Kotas' goal is to create a 50-suite resort centered near Southern California's vacation destinations. Families will be pampered by volunteers who will provide, according to Kotas, "...endless ice cream, a treasure chest filled with special gifts and bedtime tuck-ins by Wishland's own character, King Lion." Information: lkotas@wishland.com. IMMIGRANT IS HONORED Recent UC Irvine graduate Jennifer Ma-Pham was named a fellow by the Merage Institute for the American Dream. She is one of only 15 students nationwide to be honored. College students who are American immigrants are eligible. Fellows are chosen for their academic record, commitment to hard work, and demonstration of leadership, creativity, initiative and exemplary ethics. She receives $10,000 per year for 2 years to pursue a graduate degree or advance her professional career. LOCAL GYMNASTS TO PERFORM Gymnasts and dancers from Top Gun Gymnastics will soon be performing routines including dance, drama and gymnastics throughout South Orange County. Under the direction of Renee Doucette, children between the ages of 6 and 13, who have accomplished basic skills and have a desire to perform, can try out for the "touring" group. Doucette says, "The performance team will give children a way to build confidence and self-esteem in a non-competitive environment." Information: 949.540.0980. LOCAL TEACHERS BENEFIT FROM WALK/RUN Hundreds of Orange County Teachers Federal Credit Union members and employees raised nearly $9,000 at the recent Walk/Run For Education event that began at Tustin High School. The money will go to the Education Foundation for Orange County Schools, a nonprofit that provides grants to teachers. This year, the foundation has provided more than 24 grants totaling more than $42,000 to local teachers. - Reported and compiled by OC Family Magazine staff FAMILY FINANCE By Tucker Watkins It is your family’s financial security that matters most The past 3 years have brought unprecedented levels of stress and anxiety into many of our lives. Events ranging from Year 2000 preparedness, the September 11 attacks, recession and economic uncertainty, war in Iraq and increased terrorism in many parts of the world have brought many people back to the thing that matters most family. However, personal tragedies are not limited to global events and major catastrophes. Preparing for the unexpected often involves a more personal and realistic approach to your family’s security. Five days after purchasing a life insurance policy in late 2002, Mike Carpenter was hospitalized for severe stomach pain. Less than a week later, the 39-year-old father of one was diagnosed with colon cancer. Carpenter, a high school math teacher in Alabama, and his wife, a surgical nurse, first sought life insurance protection because he had a family history of heart disease and early male deaths. He wanted to ensure that his wife and their 1-year-old son would be financially secure if he died. Security included enabling his wife to pay off the mortgage and other debt and to fund their son’s college education. It also included providing them with an additional source of income if it was needed. You never know when life will take a sudden and unexpected turn for the worse. Transferring risk through the purchase of insurance protection is fundamental to a secure financial life. For example, if you become disabled, disability insurance can help you replace lost wages. And in the event of an unexpected death, life insurance can help survivors maintain their standard of living. If you haven’t addressed how you and your spouse want your family to be cared for if one of you becomes disabled or unexpectedly dies, it’s critical to do so. And it’s important to address these concerns whether or not you both generate an income. The loss of a stay-at-home parent can be costly. In fact, based on the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, if being a stay-at-home parent was a profession, the salary would run roughly $65,000 a year. In addition to examining how life insurance offers protection in the event of death, look at its other advantages. Many of today’s policies can also provide emergency income, college funding, supplemental retirement income, estate planning and more. In addition to insurance protection, family security means having adequate cash reserves. Financial experts advise putting aside enough money to cover 3-6 months of living expenses. For help examining which combination of insurance and financial products will best enable you to meet your financial goals, consult with a knowledgeable financial adviser. Tucker Watkins is a senior financial adviser specializing in comprehensive financial planning including retirement, estate planning, risk protection, small business and asset allocation. Tucker is a certified financial planner (CFP) and certified fund specialist (CFS) with American Express Financial Advisors, Inc., member NASD/SIPC, in Irvine. Information: 949.263.9001, Ext. 15, or www.tuckerwatkins.com. Helping Hand By Sandy Bennett 211 Information and referral system links OC residents Info Link Orange County is a resource that all families can benefit from at one point or another. Yet few people are aware of its existence. That will likely change, though, when the nonprofit agency launches a 3-digit telephone number service by early next year. The organization, based in Irvine, was recently named Orange County’s 211 provider by the California Public Utilities Commission. The 211 program, which will be launched no later than April 1, 2005, will offer information and referral services to residents 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Already there are more than 100 such call centers across the nation. “Most information referral agencies, like ourselves, have tended to be kind of an invisible service. Once someone gets to know what we do, they rely on us a lot, but it’s that first point of access,” says Angie Baur, executive director of Info Link Orange County. “We’re really hoping that funding will support our marketing efforts for 211 in a way that it will be as common as 911 for emergency services.” In the meantime, residents can take advantage of the agency’s comprehensive service by calling its toll-free number at 888.600.4357. An information and referral provider for Orange County’s United Way, the organization maintains a database that includes more than 3,000 governmental and nonprofit agencies, sorted into 90 categories. Do you have a parent who is starting to show signs of Alzheimer’s disease or a teen in need of a drug test? The agency offers a single point of access for connection to local and health and human services programs. Other categories include housing resources, legal services, domestic violence outreach and placement, work force development and a host of others. “There are statistics out there (that say) it takes about 7 calls for a person to find the right place that can offer the service they are looking for,” says Baur. “We hope to reduce that to 2 calls us and the (provider).” Information Monday through Friday from 8:30 a.m.-4:30 p.m. An after-hours voice message is available for emergency resource referrals. Toll-free at 888.600.4357 or www.infolinkoc.org. Sandy Bennett is associate editor for OC Family Magazine. |
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