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NEWS, VOICES, TRENDS JULY 2005

“Love is not Supposed to Hurt,” to provide information on choosing healthy relationships...

By OC FamilyPublished: July, 2005

Also featuring | running program | mothering's best | population boom | where is your parent ? | FAMILY NEWS BITES

KNOW YOUR DATE
Teens need to identify abuse when it happens

Editor's Note: The following information was provided by Human Options, an Orange County domestic violence service provider that is addressing the fact that abusive behaviors begin during the teenage years. The nonprofit speaks to middle and high school classrooms with a program, “Love is not Supposed to Hurt,” to provide information on choosing healthy relationships. Information: humanoptions.org. For the 24-hour crisis hotline: 949.854.3554.

Here are warning signs:
Does your boyfriend/girlfriend…
o Want to spend every minute together?
o Quiz you about everything you do when you are apart?
o Keep you from seeing old friends?
o Make fun of you or put you down in public?
o Threaten to “do something bad” if you break up?
o Make you feel like you can't end the relationship?
o Use alcohol or drugs as an excuse for being mean?
o Have an uncontrollable temper?
o Often get upset and refuse to discuss the reasons why?
o Force you to do things that you don't feel comfortable doing?


Parents should encourage their children to assert themselves in nonviolent ways. Teens need to know that abusive language and physical violence is not acceptable.

One in five female high school students reports being physically and/or sexually abused by a dating partner.
Some 20% of girls ages 14-17 report knowing someone their age who has been hit or beaten by a boyfriend.
Some 85% of girls who break up with their abusive boyfriends report being stalked by them.


RUNNING PROGRAM
Growing number of OC youth like the distance

Long-distance running Coach Jerry Palazzo has noticed an increase in interest, and performance, among pre- and teen runners interested in the little-known sport of cross country. He and David Estrada oversee the Tustin-based Equalizers Track Club, a nonprofit, youth distance running organization serving Orange County since 1986. The club trains and competes two seasons each year, in the late winter and spring for track (mile and longer distances), and late summer and fall for cross country. The club has a strong tradition of taking a relatively small group of runners and achieving high ideals.

The coaches' goal is to provide a healthy competitive environment that will promote a positive self-image and a wholesome attitude toward competition. For example, each runner is taught that he or she is competing against only one person _ themselves. And, each runner should strive to improve his or her own times with each race and not worry so much about what the next person is doing.

Members are educated in running form techniques (efficient and injury free), breathing techniques (avoiding cramps), individualized pace, and basic habits such as eating, drinking and sleeping. Training workouts include strengthening drills and exercises, easy runs, long runs (flat and hilly terrain), tempo runs and interval training.

The club is registered with USA Track and Field and participates in many USATF sanctioned meets in both track and cross country, with the ultimate goal of qualifying and competing in the National Junior Olympics. The program is open to all Orange County youth, born between 1990 and 1996, for the upcoming cross country season beginning in August. Information: Jerry Palazzo at 714.469.5891. Via e-mail: jerrypalazzo@cox.net


MOTHERING'S BEST
Tips from real moms about real issues

There's no better childcare advice than that which comes from mothers. Based on what actually works, rather than theories from childcare experts, the wisdom imparted from real-life, in-the-trenches moms is golden.

Jennifer Lawler, author of “Dojo Wisdom for Mothers” (Penguin Compass) asked real moms for their best tips on how to effectively and lovingly discipline their children. Here are her findings.

Find a mentor. Seek a parent who has successfully raised their children who can offer suggestions on how they would handle your particular dilemma.

Remember what it was like to be a kid. They're impulsive and still have to develop traits like self-control and discipline. It's our job as parents to help them accomplish that. However, in the meantime it's helpful to remember what it's like to be in their shoes.

Learn what works and remember that each child may react differently.

Be open to different discipline techniques and how your child responds to each. Employ that technique on future occasions. Try to diffuse any conflict with statements like, “I don't want to fight with you…”

Choose your battles. Be a little flexible with your child. Instead of saying, “I want you to wear this top with those pants,” offer two selections, including the one you want, and let your child choose.

Employ positive motivation rather than punishment. Instead of saying, “You're grounded if you don't pass your math test,” say, “You can have two friends over if you pass your math test.”

Allow them to experience the consequences of their behavior. Better for them experience failure early than to than wait until the stakes are higher.

Trust your instincts. You know your child better than anyone else.

Information: jenniferlawler.com


MORE PEOPLE
Inland Empire leads population boom

Riverside and San Bernardino counties continue to be among the state's largest-growing areas, according to the latest figures by the state Department of Finance. And that is no surprise. Sister publication Inland Empire Family Magazine reported in 2003 that by 2020 the Inland Empire will have grown by 2 million people _ the size of Houston _ making it the fastest-growing region in the United States.

The latest figures, putting the state's population at 36.8 million, mark Riverside County as the state's fastest-growing, at 3.8% in 2004. San Bernardino County is among the fastest-growing at 2.5%. Only the state's Central Valley competes as another large region. Orange County was in the “less than average” category, with 1.1% growth, as was Los Angeles County, at 1.2%.


AFTER SCHOOL
Hey, do you know where your parent is?

Twenty-two percent of California children in working families are unsupervised in the afternoons, according to data released recently by the Afterschool Alliance. This is the second wave of Alliance's household survey, America After 3 PM, funded by the JCPenney. The data focus on working families - those in which both parents or the single parent holds a job. California-specific sampling finds that just 14% of children in California's working families are in afterschool programs, while the parents of 36% say they would likely enroll their children in a program if one were available.

“We have a lot of work still to do in creating afterschool opportunities for our kids,” says California Afterschool ambassador John Poch. “We've made a good start, but the resources are still not nearly sufficient to meet the demand from working families in our state. It's past time to translate rhetoric into funding and ensure that afterschool programs are available to every California family that needs them.”

Nationally, according to America After 3 PM:

o Two in five middle schoolchildren in working families (40%) are unsupervised in the afternoons. (The study defines middle school as grades 6-8.)

o Fully 9.7 million children in working families who do not participate in afterschool programs would be likely to participate if a program were available, their parents say.

Fourteen percent of K-12 children in working families attend afterschool programs, compared to 11% of all K-12 children. Nineteen percent of the children of single working mothers participate in afterschool programs.

Some 31% of Caucasian, 25% of African-American and Latino, and 21% of Asian Pacific Islander children in working families are in self-care in the afternoons.m

The Afterschool Alliance is a nonprofit public awareness and advocacy organization supported by a group of public, private, and nonprofit entities working to ensure that all children and youth have access to afterschool programs by the year 2010. Information: www.afterschoolalliance.org.


FAMILY NEWS BITES

UPDATE ON HOOPSTER
Here's a follow-up to December 2004's Get in the Game story (www.ocfamily.com/ocfamily1204/game_1204.html)
about Bonnie Samuelson and her basketball-playing family: Bonnie took first place again in the final national shootout, and her 9-year-old sister, Karlie, in her first attempt at the national finals, took fourth place.

PARENTS NEED MORE CYBERSMARTS
While nearly half of parents monitor their children's online activity daily or weekly, the other half admit they don't even know that such monitoring tools are available, according a new study commissioned by the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children and Cox Communications.

To help increase awareness and use of the parental controls and Internet filtering tools, Cox Communications launched “Take Charge” in 2004 in partnership with children's advocate and host of “America's Most Wanted,” John Walsh. Visit www.cox.com/TakeCharge for complete survey results, online safety tools and tips, links and a glossary of common Internet chat lingo.

OC DADS HONORED
Four distinguished business and education leaders in Orange County recently received the annual Father-of-the-Year Award, presented by the Father's Day Council. The 2005 recipients include David DePillo, vice chairman, president and chief operating officer, Commercial Capital Bancorp, Inc.; Greg Dillion, founder and co-managing partner, Newmeyer & Dillion, LLP; Stephen Paulin, senior vice president, Sullivan Curtis Monroe; and Scott Paulsen, retired administrator, Newport Mesa School District and adjunct professor, Vanguard University. The award, which celebrates its third anniversary in Orange County, is given in recognition of outstanding fathers who have demonstrated the ability to balance their personal lives, to serve as role models for their children, and to help make a positive difference in their communities.

COUNTY PARKS ONLINE SYSTEM
Harbors, Beaches & Parks, a division of the county of Orange, Resources and Development Management Department, recently launched an automated parks reservations system. The web-based program allows the public to reserve picnic shelters, campsites and wedding locations at various regional facilities. Customers can place a reservation in real time, 24 hours a day, seven days a week by logging onto www.ocparks.com, or by calling 800.600.1600 from 9 a.m.-9 p.m. Monday through Friday and 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Saturday and Sunday, excluding major holidays.

FAMILY TREE GROVE PLANTED
Several trees were recently planted at Irvine Regional Park in Orange in honor of 12 extraordinary people and organizations that have make a significant difference within foster care and adoption. The Family Tree Garden caps an 18-month public awareness campaign organized by the Public Relations Society of America/Orange County Chapter. Its goal is to inspire more adults to help make a permanent difference in the lives of thousands of local children in need of a loving home.

CONSTRUCTION TO BEGIN ON NATURE CENTER
Construction is scheduled to begin in August for the James and Rosemary Nix Nature Center, located in Laguna Coast Wilderness Park's Little Sycamore Canyon. The center will serve as the park's ranger headquarters, docent center and educational facility. The $3.1 million project is schedule to open in mid-2006.

FOR TEACHERS ONLY
Office Depot will offer its 12th annual Teacher Appreciation Breakfasts every Saturday from July 16 through Aug. 27. Held at Office Depot retail locations throughout the U.S., the events are designed to provide a venue for area teachers to network and prepare for the new school year. Visit www.school.com to find out the date, location and time for the scheduled breakfast in your community.

FULLERTON'S TOP STUDENTS
Several Cal State Fullerton students were awarded special awards at the university's recent graduation. Three president's awards were among the citations:

President's Associates Scholastic Awards (Sarah Jay and April Ulloa, both of Fullerton); President's Associates Graduate Student Award (Dominick Sturz of Placentia); and President's Associates Service Award (Samanaz Kapadia of Downey).

FRANK LLOYD WRIGHT
A website has been created for youth ages 11-14 to design and build a virtual home with the assistance of an online Frank Lloyd Wright. Architect Studio 3D, working with Wright's Preservation Trust, has developed the interactive technology. Young would-be designers can think through a single-story home in a number of styles and then furnish the creation with elements such as furniture, light fixtures and wall coverings. Go to: ArchitectStudio3D.org; click on “Design Studio.”

_ Compiled and reported by OC Family staff

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