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Published: March, 2009 Cheating What to do if your child is caught

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Disbelief and denial. That’s usually the reaction parents have when they are told that their child has cheated. Whether cheating has occurred in the classroom or on the playing field, a range of emotions follow: anger, shame and a distrust of your own child.     The pressure for better grades, as well as higher batting averages, has pushed many elementary school children to cheat. By the time children are in high school, as many as 75 percent admit to cheating.    Society now tends to justify the means in order to get to the desired end. The old sports adage, “You’re not trying if you’re not cheating,” is taught early to young athletes, and it’s a lesson they are carrying into the classroom. So, what should parents do if their child is caught cheating? > Find out why Cheating may point to deeper troubles. When did right and wrong merge in his mind? What influences may have resulted in the child making the decision to cheat?        Have you put undue pressure on him to perform? Are you continually telling others, in front of him, that he got straight A’s? Your child may begin to feel that anything less will disappoint you. Lighten up on the acclaim. It might be time to move your son or daughter to a less competitive activity in which he or she isn’t measured by scores. > How to help Enlisting a tutor may help a child feel that he doesn’t have to go it alone. Signing your child up for private lessons to help improve his performance might help. Positive comments from a coach or tutor are directed at the task at hand, not at the child. There is a difference.     Children learn by example. Every time you make light of a situation in which you have cheated – not reporting all your income on your taxes, for example – you are setting the bar for your own child. Set the right example.     Encourage your child when he makes the right decision. Praise him for not dealing with a difficult situation by cheating. CELL-OUT A new epidemic is spreading across U.S. schools: cheating via cell phones. Now that most cell phones offer text messaging and  picture-taking capabilities, middle and high school students are using them to cheat on tests. Kids now share photos of their tests and text answers to exams.         Schools now have policies regarding cell phones. In many districts, phones must be left at the front of class every day. Others require students to leave their phones in the school office; the kids have access to the phones, when needed, and cheating becomes less of an issue.     If parents are worried about cheating, get rid of the phone extras. Text messaging, picture sending and other bells and whistles are unnecessary. Give your child a basic model; one that only sends and receives typical voice calls is all that is necessary to contact Mom when it’s time to be picked up from band practice. Jennifer Erix is the mother of three and a member of her local Parent Teacher Organization.

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