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 Trying to think of a topic to write about in my second blog post brought me, ironically, back to a partial theme of the first. I’ve had many discussions about my first blog since I published it earlier this week and I find the subject very interesting. What qualifies as a parent? And are any of the adults who influence, inspire, teach, protect and advocate on behalf of children any less relevant because they do not have children themselves? In my many discussions, I was reminded of the thousands, if not millions of teachers, nannies, child psychologists and pediatricians who do not yet have children and may never have them. I was also reminded that two of the most visible and ardent advocates for children in the United States – Oprah Winfrey and Ellen DeGeneres – do not have children of their own. Does Super Nanny? Hmm, I’ll have to look it up, but I don't think so. I woke up very early this morning and was watching a recorded Oprah show from earlier in the week – she was interviewing Rosie O’Donnell and there was reference to it “taking a village.” I know this got to be a rather hackneyed catchphrase, but the philosophy is every bit as relevant. A child isn’t just raised by a family, but by a community. My housemate and I have been discussing this issue because he is dating a woman with a 2-year-old son. He is her first child and housemate has no kids of his own. Both are trying to navigate some rough waters, particularly what role he is to play when they are in public. Recent issue: Disneyland. What do you do when the child begins having a meltdown or darts into the crowd (or, horror of horrors, the parking lot – remind me to do a rant on THAT issue someday soon). When do you not react and defer to the parent and when do you step in? There are no simple answers and conflict will often result. However, if we all understand that the child’s safety and socially acceptable behavior are paramount, can we all agree to help and support each other?  My sister used to refer to the group of tight-knit friends and relatives that surrounded my nephews when they were very young as “their adults.” Whether it was a relative or a close family friend, they were taught to respect and obey “their adults.” It worked out beautifully. Of course, there was little issue that any of us wanted anything other than the best for the boys and to care for and protect them.I understand that tragically, this isn’t always the case, but that is an issue for another day. However, it reminds me of a program that ties the two issues together. It was very big when I was growing up in Southern California in the ’70s – the Block Mother program. Does anyone else remember those white signs with a big red “stop” hand that used to hang in the windows of at least one house on every street? This was a sign that designated the “mom,” (though she may have been an aunt, grandma or concerned citizen) who agreed to be the safety zone for any child who feels threatened or is in need of help. We were instructed to learn who the Block Mothers were and run to that house anytime we were in need of refuge – whether it be a stranger, a bully or someone got hurt. I thankfully never had use for a Block Mother, but it gave me tremendous comfort to know they were there. Nowadays we don’t have moms who are reliably home every day as we did in the ’70s. So we need to be more vigilant and supportive and aware of our children. It really does take a village, or a community, to protect, support, reinforce, guide and teach. Why wouldn’t we work together? |
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Hi Susan, I just found out this site and I'd like to provide some usful info to my fellow OC moms. How do I start a blog? Thanks.
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