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![]() I know a woman who lost both her mother and son since last August. Neither was expected. I can only imagine what she was feeling yesterday. I really never saw the pain that can be evoked by a holiday such as Mother’s Day, until yesterday. I remember back in my restaurant days when I HAD to work every Mother’s Day, it was always interesting. I used to joke around that for me, it was Future Mother’s Day, since I hadn’t had kids but was always optimistic I would. I have been slowly admitting to myself over the past year or so that it very well may not be true. Interesting, because lately my life has brought me in contact with many women who are “childless by choice” and are very comfortable with it. My standard reply when people asked me why I didn’t have kids has always been, “I haven’t met their father yet.” Life is nothing if not interesting. Yesterday I was reading some online posts about Mother’s Day and it’s amazing how many different ways this holiday affects people. One woman revealed that she cried for 15 minutes on her husband’s shoulder. She is 46 and she’s been married for more than 20 years and they’re childless. I guess that is something they’ve struggled with as a couple for years. I don’t know the whys and wherefores, but just that the day brought up some very deep feelings for her. I also read an email from a friend who lost her mother at 19 and how the day always brought up the pain of her loss vividly. She is now 44 and also has been married for close to 20 years, but does not have children. I never realized that Mother’s Day can be one of those evocative milestone events like your birthday and New Year’s Eve, where suddenly, your unrealized dreams and plans kind of sneak up on you to blindside you emotionally. I felt great compassion for the women who were revealing these stories. And felt a little bit melancholy for myself too. I’m 44 and still “have not met my kids’ father,” so it’s entirely possible that may never happen. However, I did have a lovely day with my mom and my sister. My brother and brother-in-law prepared an incredible brunch and we watched “Father of the Bride” (yeah, another melancholy reminder …) and had a very nice day. Well, save for a bit of teen angst involving the banning of a cell phone that was being used for serial texting, but that’s another story. I hope everyone who mothers in whatever capacity had a beautiful day and experienced some level of appreciation for all you do to cherish and nurture the people in your life. Contact me at: sbelknapp@churmmedia.com Follow me on Twitter: @susebelk Previous posts: 4-30-10 Brazilian Blowout 4-21-10 A thing of beauty 4-8-10 All-Star Fan Fest 3-24-10 Power of story 3-17-10 Baby beat 3-2-10 O.C. Camp Fair 2-25-10 Prevailing value of EVERY mom 2-19-10 I interrupt this blog ... 2-15-10 Shining Students nominations 2-10-10 Anaheim Ducks take flight 2-5-10 'It Takes a Village' Redux 2-1-10 A new day |
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