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Editor's Note

Smotherhood ends It's time to stop being such a good mother. By Lynn ArmitagePublished: September, 2008

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When my daughters were born, my maternal instincts snapped into overdrive. As I lay in my hospital bed (on two separate occasions) cradling my newborns who were feeding from my breast for the first time, I swore with all my heart and soul that I would love, protect and care for these precious darlings for the rest of my days. What WAS I thinking? There comes a time in every mother’s life, around your first-born’s teen years (not coincidentally), when you suddenly realize you have to stop being such a good mother. As much as you think it’s important to their survival to continue to cook and clean and think for them, you’re really doing these emerging young adults a huge disservice. At some point, your babies have to learn to take care of themselves. Fetch their own worms. Up until recently, I’ve done most everything for my daughters. Out of love, yes. But mostly, out of a sense of duty. Those early diaper-changing days are hard to shake. Now my teen doesn’t even know how to iron. And my youngest can barely clip her own toenails, shame on me. As we face another hectic school year, I’ve decided to kick back a little. Instead of rising early every morning until mid-June like the perfect mom to make breakfast and lunches, prepare backpacks and gently open the blinds to awaken my children, I’m going to buy them each an alarm clock. They’re old enough to get themselves up. My 11-year-old wants to be a chef someday, so what better training than to prepare breakfast for three? And my sophomore, who never eats the lunches I fix her anyway, can throw a couple sandwiches into a bag. Believe me, not doing anything at all will be the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It’s tough love, Baby! If someone forgets her lunch, tough. I’m not going to run it up to school. If it’s chilly in the morning and they don’t grab a sweater, tough, I’m not going to nag about catching infectious diseases. They will not starve or freeze.  And if they do, it will be their fault, not mine.  How else will they ever learn? The way I see it, by teaching my daughters to take care of themselves, I’ll end up being the perfect mother after all.   Editor’s Pick: One of the best ways to encourage our kids to get moving is to clock their steps. A fun way to do that is with a Pedz pedometer. It’s shaped like a frog and comes in fun colors.     What’s more, each pedometer comes with an online account so children ages 5-12 can log on to mypedz.com set goals, play games, earn points and compete with friends. It’s like Webkinz for fitness. Each Pedz costs $12.99, plus a $5 shipping charge. To order, go to mypedz.com.

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