During last July’s 5.8 earthquake, 3-year-old Bronwyn told her 1-year-old sister, “We’re going for a wiggle.” READ MORE
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Many, many people have trouble visiting the relatives, or finding time to meet for the annual family gathering. I don't. To me, it's a blessing. For perspective, I consider my grandparents' house in Los Angeles, which I visited time and again until they had to go to a nursing home in the 1980s. I made sure I was never too busy, or too important, to visit them. So when they left the house, and, later, when they left this world, my time had been well-spent. And so it is with at least a large part of my extended family, on my parents' side and my wife's as well. Recently, we returned from a family gathering on Lake Erie, on the Canadian side near Buffalo, N.Y., where several of Nikki's relatives have summer homes. Earlier this year, my immediate family gathered for my parents' wedding anniversary in Big Sur. It was the first time in more than 30 years that my brother and I walked through a particular slice of redwood forest where our family used to spend summer after summer. Not all relatives are fun to visit. I realize that. But I hope that my children get a sense of the importance of visiting Grandma and Grandpa today - and get to know as much of the family as they can now. At some point, time runs out, and the moments snuggling into bed at Grandma's home will be a memory. Short or long memory, it's really for us to decide today. Now. I learned, or at least re-learned, on this vacation that time is of the essence. Most of the family is doing well, though an uncle just had quadruple bypass and he's pushing 80. We didn't get to see him at the family picnic on a recent Sunday, and Grandma and Grandpa had to cut short the vacation when an injured hand and foot got the best of one of them. There are other telltale signs - personal things that I won't get into but that my generation sees as the elders age. Our children, ages 9 and 6, typically comprise the youngest members at these gatherings. They've got the most to lose when someone dies, because they will have had the least time to get to know them. They already have all sorts of questions about my wife's grandmother, who got to hold my oldest during two summer vacations back East, but who never knew our twins. As another summer ends, I am more aware than ever that time is passing by. There's no place like home, and there are no people like family. Take advantage of that fact. Now. |
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