Mary Pratt, a licensed clinical social worker from Lake Forest who
teaches hands-on parenting through Parent Child Interaction Therapy,
explains that children learn by watching and copying their parents.
This means that explanations alone won’t do the trick.
“Just
telling a child to do something may not get the results one wants,”
Pratt says. “But modeling it, then praising the child when they do it,
would be a more effective way to teach manners.”
Swann
reveals that another key element to teaching manners involves first
teaching core values. This way, using manners makes sense to the child.
Values to focus on are respect, honesty and consideration, which Swann
claims are the three core values of manners and etiquette.
“Rather
than teaching them what to say, we have to teach them why they should
say it,” she explains. “That’s when it makes sense to say, ‘Yes,
please!’ and ‘No, thank you.’”
These key words demonstrate respect and can teach a child to be grateful and appreciative, according to Symington.
Traits
like these, and consistent good manners, are extremely important in
creating a well-rounded child. A well-mannered child is automatically
liked more by adults and other children, Symington says.