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During last July’s 5.8 earthquake, 3-year-old Bronwyn told her 1-year-old sister, “We’re going for a wiggle.” READ MORE
Early Years
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At Monarch Bay Montessori Academy, it's not unusual to see 2-year-olds dusting shelves and straightening books, 4-year-olds sharpening pencils, and 6-year-olds restocking art supplies. After snack, every child, no matter how young, is responsible for rinsing plates and cups in the sink and setting them to dry. And even though many dishes often need rewashing, that's OK, because children who help maintain their classroom learn the most important lesson of all. "Our classroom is like a small community where it's everyone's responsibility to keep it clean," says director and owner Paloma Johnston. Whether it's at school or at home, involving even the youngest child in chores can ultimately yield positive results, even if it means a few extra dirty dishes for you in the meantime. "Having children take on responsibilities develops their sense of competence and confidence, which is much more empowering than having someone else do everything for them," explains Terri Altwies, parent educator and founder of Families First, which offers various parenting workshops in Orange County. " As tasks become easier, they're more willing to take on bigger and bigger challenges, and having that sense of competency ultimately turns them into good leaders," she adds. Before you run out to buy a star chart to track all the new chores you would like to assign your children, here are age-appropriate tips to follow to ensure that the experience contributes to character, not chaos, in your home. • Start early: By age 2, and for some even earlier, children are eager to emulate their parents, and at the same time anxious to start doing things themselves. This is the perfect time to introduce them to responsibility, explains Newport Beach marriage and family therapist Barbara Royal. The key to assigning children this young is patience. "It's hard for us to allow children to make mistakes," says Royal. "When we want the dishes cleaned, we want them done perfectly, but helping kids just practice these things is really important; they're just learning that they can become helpful and contribute." Initially, children can help out by picking up after themselves and with other self-care responsibilities such as brushing their teeth and getting dressed. As they get older and become more efficient with each task, they can move on to other helpful jobs such as feeding pets, dusting furniture, setting the table, or making their beds. A lot of activities, like gardening, don't even have to feel like chores, and they can initiate some genuine moments worth remembering long after childhood. • Mix it up: Of course, while your 2-year-old may be eager to help with household chores now, eventually the novelty of it all may wear off. However, when you start to hear complaints and excuses, try to stick with it. By learning to complete tasks now, your child is developing an understanding of how important it is to complete other tasks in life as well, whether it's homework, an after-school job, or a college degree. "It's training for the larger world," says Royal. But one way to make chores a little more interesting is to ask kids to do something different each week. "They get bored easily, so change it around," suggests Altwies. "And by the age of 5, they can start choosing which jobs they would like to do each week." • Reward with encouragement: No matter if your child is 2, 6 or 16, the key to keeping her interested in helping out around the house and contributing to the family is encouragement. "If parents make it a positive experience from the beginning, and continue to do so, it gives children a sense of value and importance when it comes to the family team," Altwies says. But it's important to encourage children, rather than just praise them. Altwies defines encouragement as a positive verbal acknowledgement of specific behavior. For example, a child brings his dinner plate to the sink after he's finished eating: Rather than saying something like, "What a great kid," a better response from the parent might be, "It was very helpful when you carried your dishes to the sink. Thanks for your help." Both Altwies and Royal agree that encouragement is the best reward for a job well done by a child, not tangible prizes like money, special treats, or toys. That way the child discovers fulfillment through a sense of accomplishment and contribution, and they don't pick up that "what's in it for me" attitude toward helping out. If you feel that you must offer an additional reward for a special job, ask the child what they would like. You may be surprised to discover that a request for an afternoon together at the beach might beat out the newest DVD release. At our house, the two older children have been helping with small chores since they were 3, and I still can't believe my luck when they argue over who gets to feed the dog or set the table. Of course, on many days they need a little extra encouragement, too. But on the best days, I catch them actually helping each other with a chore. Then I know that they not only can help, but they want to help, and that's the lesson I've been hoping they would learn. Michele Piazzoni is a freelance writer and mother of three living in Folsom. She is a regular contributor to The Early Years and Getting Started. A former Orange County resident, she has written for Parents, the Orange County Register and a regional home improvement magazine. To reach her: mpiazzoni@hotmail.com. Getting Started By Michele Piazzoni • New studies indicate that waiting to introduce your baby to cereal between 4 and 6 months of age may reduce their risk of type 1 diabetes, especially if they may be susceptible to the disease due to family history. Researchers at the University of Health Sciences Center in Denver, and the Diabetes Research Institute in Munich both found that waiting until after 3 months, (but not after 7 months) to introduce solid foods such as cereal resulted in an improved outcome for children at 4 and 5 years of age. • There's a new trend in child care that bridges the generation gap. Facilities are popping up across the country that now offer integrated day care for both preschoolers and senior citizens. The goal of these centers is to improve the psychological outlook of the elderly while building the social skills of the preschoolers. Proponents say that the intergenerational atmosphere rekindles feelings of purpose among the elderly and improves their psychological outlook and in some cases even their health. For the youngsters there's a chance to build traditional relationships with the elderly, which is growing less and less common, and one study even showed that children in such programs scored higher on the manners skill test than those at traditional preschools. • Cheese is an easy and healthy finger food for toddlers, and by introducing it into your child's diet early you may be helping them down the road. A recent study of 10- to 12-year-old girls in Finland found that those who ate cheese to increase their calcium intake also enjoyed a larger increase in bone mass - results that could not be matched by calcium tablet supplements. So why not start early? |
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