EVERYTHING
FOR YOUR FAMILY
Cover Story
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When Joey Booth was just 9 years old, he helped to feed the poor. His younger sister, Sarah, only 7, has comforted abused children. And big brother Nick, all of 14, has supplied underprivileged children with needed school supplies. These children from this one family do more than most adults to serve their community. Why are these siblings willing to give up their play time, and even their allowance, to help someone else? To find the answer, you only have to look as far as their parents, Bill and Vicki Booth of Newport Beach. The Booths' own track record of volunteer work and community service is noteworthy, but in fact, their efforts are twofold. In addition to giving of themselves, they also consciously work to build moral character in their three children. "My husband and I are fortunate enough to have had parents who gave back to their community," explains Booth, daughter of former baseball commissioner and organizer of the 1984 Olympic Games, Peter Ueberroth. "That's what we wanted to model for our own kids." Admittedly, the Booths are a family of means. However, Vicki strongly believes that volunteerism is as important, if not more important, than money when it comes to learning about community service. "It's not entirely financial," she explains. "I believe in volunteerism AND philanthropy - they go together. When you give your time and effort, it gives meaning to the individual's life as well as to the nonprofit." Setting the right example How do you raise moral children, especially in a world that many say is on the brink of moral bankruptcy? How do you instill in them a sense of compassion, commitment to doing the right thing and service to others, when it seems as though everyone else is going in another direction? "I think it starts out simply with exposure and talking with them about what we're doing," Booth suggests, explaining that the children have tagged along with their parents on visits to the Second Harvest Food Bank. "They've been to these places and they understand what they do there. Over dinner, we talk, asking questions like, 'Can you imagine that some children don't have enough food to eat or a place to sleep?'" Those conversations prompted Joey Booth, now 11, to conduct his own food drive. Prior to Halloween, he sent letters to 90 homes in his neighborhood explaining that he was going to pick up canned goods for the needy while he went door-to-door, trick-or-treating. Booth says the neighborhood came through and each year since has anticipated Joey's arrival on Halloween. "We took the food to the food bank," his mother says. "Now he's on the mailing list so he gets his very own newsletter from them." Joey's sister, Sarah, along with her mother, purchased children's storybooks and delivered them to Human Options so that abused children would have something to take their mind off their troubles. On another occasion, Sarah agreed to give some of her stuffed animals to children who needed something to hold on to at night. Using a foundation The Booths know that eventually their children will grow from collecting canned goods to wanting to do more. To guide them to a lifetime of service, they've set up a donor-advised fund for each child through the Orange County Community Foundation (OCCF), which matches donor funds with needs in the community. "The money goes to the Orange County Community Foundation...they invest and hold the money," explains Booth. "You get quarterly statements and you decide where to give the money." For example, one year the Booth children were informed that backpacks and school supplies were needed for underprivileged kids. Their fund earnings were then donated to Families Forward to meet that need. "For families that want to make a difference, they take the labor-intensive part out of running a foundation. You can have as little or as much involvement as you want. "Our hope is that the children will find something they are interested in and passionate about," says Booth. "Right now, for my daughter, it would be animals." According to the 2002 Annual Report, the OCCF has, through donor-advised grants, supported community needs in areas such as social services, civic needs, education, health, the arts, the environment and religious and spiritual development. Suzy Melin, like the Booths, has involved her children and grandchildren in deciding where the earnings from her OCCF fund are dispersed. "The purpose was not only for us to help others, but the continuation of the giving through the generations." Melin recalls the generosity of family and friends during the Great Depression when her own family fell on hard times. "Because I was a Depression baby and I saw how our family needed help and the people that came forth, relatives, people from church, close friends...I know what it was to struggle and that colored my life greatly." Melin supports a number of charities, including those that serve the homeless and abused. Fueling a new generation The Booth children are part of a new generation dedicated to service, according to Russell Williams, CEO of the Passkeys Foundation Jefferson Center for Character Education, an organization dedicated to nurturing character in kids. "We are seeing a resounding change from the '60s 'me' generation (the parents of these kids), to a very service-driven consciousness." He admits that it is difficult to accept this trend among a generation that, as surveys show, also believes lying and cheating are OK. Citing a 2002 study by Rutgers University, Williams points out that "when it comes to lying, cheating and knowing what's right and wrong...they're behind the curve." Williams believes that "most Baby Boomers have missed the boat on passing along these values." He adds: "While we're talking about kids whose moral compass may be lost, when it comes to their interest in getting out there and getting involved in the community - projects that bring good to others - the whole theme of service is a huge theme for this generation." Mike Kenyon, youth pastor at Irvine Presbyterian Church, reasons that part of this generations' willingness to serve others is that it takes youngsters away from their own world and perhaps their own moral confusion. "I think it's a tough time, right now, with the barrage of influences kids have today, specifically in the media. I think they test the moral boundaries more than we used to - they're more willing to go beyond what's right and wrong." Williams agrees. "It's the toughest time to be a youth in the history of America. We don't allow our kids to be kids. We're told that what matters most is money, power and sexual attraction." Good deeds, great results Kenyon works with kids locally as well as taking them on trips to other countries. "I just got back from the Ukraine with some teens who were working with street kids and orphans. They collected clothes, medical supplies and sports equipment to take over to the kids." He believes the teen volunteers saw tangible results right away from their efforts. "It makes them feel good in a positive way." Kenyon shared what one teen wrote after a day of volunteering in Santa Ana, cleaning up the neighborhood and reading to elementary students. She wrote, "What I enjoyed most about today was that I could put someone else ahead of myself. I helped a little boy named Juan with his reading...Every day I am so stressed about my grades and my relationship with my parents. It was nice to forget about my problems and help someone who needed it. It made me feel good." Williams believes a trend toward community service among teens may also be due to the new emphasis on volunteerism in schools. Citing the high school graduation requirement of community service hours, as well as the introduction of character education in the classroom, he's hopeful. "We might call the narcissistic reflection of the previous generation as, 'What can I do for me?' These kids are thinking about, 'What can we do for others?'" His mission is to nurture this newfound focus. The Passkeys Foundation has launched Kids of Character in 13 school districts in Orange County. The six-week program, facilitated by the teacher, presents character themes and culminates in kids selecting an outstanding "Kid of Character" in their classroom. Williams is also proud of the Laws of Life national essay contest aimed at high school students to help them reflect on important values. "We've got 12 states involved and 28 high schools," he notes. The movement to teach lessons of morality and character is also about to change the curriculum of public schools. The new Institute for Character Education, an Orange County Department of Education program, has begun integrating moral and ethical lessons into the elementary curriculum, the result of a $2 million federal grant awarded under the No Child Left Behind legislation of 2001. Betsy Arnow, program director, explains. "When you think about it, character education had been taken out of education for the last 30 years. In the '70s we attempted to put moral education and values clarification into education but we didn't do it properly." She continues, "It was, 'Let's get kids to talk about values but let's not tell them what they are. We don't want to direct them in any way, shape or form, because everyone is different.'" Arnow believes we're experiencing the backlash of that mentality 30 years later, manifested in trends such as school violence. "Now we say, 'Enough is enough.' I think this grant is one of the best things that's come along in 50 years." Schools take charge This fall, five Orange County school districts will begin teaching lessons linked to the standards, but rewritten to contain lessons of morality and character. "We've picked three universal elements to measure," Arnow explains. "Integrity, respect and citizenship." Citizenship, she says, includes responsibility, civic mindedness, service learning and volunteerism. Vicki Booth, on the board of trustees for the independent Sage Hill High School in Newport Beach, points out that service learning is imbedded in the curriculum. For example, while learning Spanish, students spend time in Santa Ana registering the Spanish-speaking community to vote. History lessons involve visits to senior centers interviewing the elderly and recording history to bring back to the classroom for discussions. Booth says, "After four years, the hope is that they'll take that with them (community service) and that it will be natural." Mentoring is another tool for teaching kids about morality. Character Counts is a program that matches high school students with elementary kids. The older students choose stories that have a message of morality and volunteer to read them to younger children, explaining the "moral of the story" and leading discussions. Moral tutors are also appearing on campuses in this country as well as in England. Like a sorority "big sister," the tutor keeps tabs to see that her assigned student is attending classes, studying and helps her to handle any social or moral issues that may arise. It is reported that dropout rates are less when students have such a tutor. Modeling morality Regardless of what they are taught in school or at church, students still look to their parents as role models on issues of virtue. In fact, Irvine Presbyterian's Kenyon says parents continue to be one of the most important influences, "not just when they're little but also during the teen years." The Booth children have been blessed with good role models. Vicki is currently chairing the fund-raising arm of Hoag Cancer Center as well as serving as president of the Ueberroth Family Foundation. The Booth children's father, Bill, is a board member for Boys Hope/Girls Hope, an organization that nurtures at-risk kids by providing safe housing and counseling. In addition to full-time careers, serving as board members for their children's schools and Little League programs, the Booths make time to give back. Vicki says, "My hope is that the children grow up to be good people. These acts teach compassion, understanding and even appreciation of what you do have." Kimberly A. Porrazzo is a senior writer at Churm Publishing, Inc. Q&A on Morality The following is a Q&A with Michele Borba, author of "Building Moral Intelligence: The 7 Essential Virtues that Teach Kids to do the Right Thing" (Jossey-Bass) Q: How can parents compete with the barrage of media influences as they try to raise a moral child? A: They need to be much more "intentional" about raising good kids. They've got to be aware that the media is out there. Not only the media but also the neighbor next door, and peer around the corner and the CD music they're listening to. They also have to expose their children to goodness and do so "intentionally." There are wonderful, good stories in the news and we have to expose kids to that, otherwise they're going to grow cynical being exposed to the doom and gloom in the world. Look for the last clip on the nightly news and share that with them - it's usually the last story before the reporter signs off. Find wonderful literature, news events and movies. What a great thing, as a teenager, to see the movie "Pay it Forward" and start doing that as a family. Look for real people and real role models, but do it "intentionally." Q: What tangible actions can parents take to nurture goodness? A: You need to start with actions that they can see make a difference. Start with little things, but expose them in ways that they can see that they make an impact. Some parents have their children clean out their closets and put stuff into boxes. Their mistake is that THEY drive it to the fire department or wherever and the kids don't see the end result. Find simple things to do that your child is interested in. If they love the outdoors, let them pick up trash in the neighborhood or plant flowers. If they're athletic, have them help with the Special Olympics. Match your child's interests and skills and find a way to capitalize on that to make a difference. Do it as a family or model it yourself. Over and over again, people who demonstrate real altruism are asked why they did it. Repeatedly they respond by saying, "My parents did and so should I." Start with random acts of kindness and watch it spiral. Maybe it's just smiling at the person next door. Brainstorm little things you can do to make a difference; smile, ask, "Can I help you?" and write these things on little pieces of paper. Put them in a bowl on your kitchen table and on your way out the door pull one out to do that day. And then, don't forget to discuss it at dinner that night. "What did you try today? Did it work?" Q: Does this kind of lifestyle, one of charity, help children to lead a more ethical and moral lives? A: Only if you walk them to that path. Too often parents automatically assume that kids who are service-oriented will become moral human beings. The "intentional" part (of parenting) is to make sure your child knows the impact of their actions. Sure, kids are volunteering more these days, but are they doing it because they're told to do it? Your goal is to have them do it when no one is looking. That's what a moral kid does. He does it because he knows in his heart it's the right thing to do. Orange County Community Foundation The Orange County Community Foundation matches philanthropists with community needs. Families can create two types of funds: endowed funds, which will remain with the foundation and can be established with as little as $5,000, and non-endowed funds which can be opened with $10,000. Each quarter, clients will receive a statement reflecting fund earnings as well as management fees (which are as little as 1 percent). Clients can grant funds to any legal charity at any time. Todd Hanson, vice president of donor relations and community partnerships, says, "We do between 50 and 100 grants per month. This past year, we made 800 grants from $250 to $500,000. The average grant is between $5,000 and $10,000." Information: 949.553.4202 or www.oc-cf.org |
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