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babyhood Navigating the beginning from A to Z By Amy Bentley On the day my husband and I brought our infant son home from the hospital, we had two questions for the nurses. One: Are babies sent home with an operating manual? And, two: If not, could we borrow one of the nurses for a couple of years? We were amateur parents about to take on the awesome responsibility of caring for another human being. As we walked into our house and placed our sleeping son in his bassinet for the first time, we asked ourselves, “Now what?” Unlike a new camera, babies don’t come with a guide for use. New parents have to wing it as they go along and wade through a ton of advice that other well-meaning folks throw their way. There is no one way to raise a child, but some things in the baby world are constant, and much of the advice you’ll get is good. We ran through the alphabet and came up with some useful tips to help guide you through that brave new world called “Parenthood, A to Z.” aspirin: The aspirin issue is a good example of this fact: When it comes to your baby and medications, don’t play doctor. Many people are unaware that aspirin can be dangerous for pregnant women, babies and small children. In 1990, the Food and Drug Administration issued a warning about aspirin use during pregnancy, especially the last three months. Too much aspirin taken at the end of pregnancy may increase the length of pregnancy, prolong labor, cause problems during delivery, interfere with blood flow to the baby, or cause severe bleeding in the mother before, during, or after delivery. Nursing moms also should avoid aspirin because it is transferred to breast milk in small doses, and continued exposure means it builds up in a baby’s body, according to the World Health Organization’s Working Group on Human Lactation. There’s also the risk that the baby could develop Reye’s Syndrome, a rare condition that affects the brain and liver, according to the National Reye’s Syndrome Foundation. Always consult with your doctor about medications. bed: There are tons of issues here. Does your baby sleep in your bed or in a crib? What position is best for the baby? What about bedding? As for where the baby sleeps, that’s up to each parent. Some new moms want their baby in their bed because it’s easier to nurse in the middle of the night, and they want the baby to feel secure. This may be true, but others caution that once your baby sleeps in bed with you, good luck getting him to stay in his own bed later. And, really, it’s pretty hard for mom and dad to catch any Zs while having the baby in their bed and having to worry about rolling over on top of him. Cribs are safe as long as they meet current safety standards. The hand-me-down from grandma or garage sale special could be problematic, from lead in the paint to other safety issues that now apply. The National Safety Council offers many tips, including: • Make sure the spaces between the slats are no more than 2 3/8 inches apart so the baby’s head can’t get stuck in between. • As soon as the baby can pull himself to a standing position, keep the mattress at its lowest position. • The mattress should be firm and flat and fit snugly next to the crib so there is no gap. Again, buy new, don’t accept something old. • Mobiles and crib gyms should be out of the infant’s reach. This also applies to curtain cords a huge hazard. Keep the crib clear of stuffed animals and toys. • Young babies should not be covered in blankets or comforters that can smother them. • Put your baby to sleep on her back with no soft bedding underneath. colic: The very thought that your baby may have colic is enough to send shivers up the spine of any new parent. Colic is intermittent abdominal pains or cramps that occur in babies whose digestive systems are still growing. It’s not really known why certain babies get colic but it is more common in bottle-fed babies who are sensitive to cow’s milk or babies who had a difficult birth. Babies with colic really suffer, and so do mom and dad. This is every parent’s worst nightmare, but it, too, shall pass. To help, nursing moms can cut out foods thought to affect babies when passed through breast milk. Items include tea, chocolate, coffee, spices, onions, garlic, broccoli, cauliflower, raw green peppers, strawberries, grapes and egg or wheat products. This may be boring for mom, but hey, if it stops the constant crying and your baby feels better, it’s a small price to pay for your sanity. Some babies swallow air when they bottle-feed, so experiment with a nipple with a bigger or smaller hole. Nursing moms can try different feeding positions to help the baby avoid gulping down air. Remember, colic won’t last forever. Most babies grow out of it by 3 months of age. Patience should be your virtue. Information: http://kidshealth.org/parent/growth/growing/colic.html diaper rash: Those irritants and wetness become trapped by the diaper next to a baby’s sensitive skin. There you have it. Deal with each reaction quickly because if left untreated, a diaper rash can cause painful blisters or broken skin. Clean the skin and let the diaper area dry completely. Apply a diaper rash ointment use a lot, not a little at each diaper change and change diapers often to keep your baby dry. The makers of Desitin, one effective ointment, suggest that if the baby’s rash hasn’t cleared up within one week with the cream, see the doctor. ear infections: The American Academy of Pediatrics says most children will have had at least one ear infection by their third birthday. My son had two or three, which is not uncommon. An ear infection results when fluid and bacteria build up in the area around the eardrum. Doctors say the easiest way to tell if your baby has an ear infection is he may fuss, cry more than usual, develop a fever, have diarrhea, fluid draining from the ear or tug at his ear. Pediatricians usually prescribe antibiotics and a pain reliever. For infants who get chronic ear infections, ear tubes may be necessary. Visit the American Academy of Otolaryngology’s website (www.entnet.org/healthinfo/ears/index.cfm) for information on this procedure as well as numerous other ear-related topics. food and formula: Tons of books have been written on the many benefits of breastfeeding, so I’m going to get right to the point: If mom has the time, desire and support, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends she should nurse for the baby’s first year. There are many good formulas as well. Working moms and other caregivers can bottle-feed or supplement breast milk with formula without guilt. One tip when it comes to introducing solid foods and new foods to a baby or toddler: Don’t expect your baby to love pureed green beans on the first try. If your baby rejects a food at first, keep trying. It can take up to 10 times before baby acquires a taste. Visit gerber.com for a feeding plan for each phase of development and a step-by-step guide for introducing solid food. An area of caution to note: Choking is a common cause of unintentional death in children under age 1. The National Safety Council recommends that parents avoid all foods that could lodge in a child’s throat, such as popcorn, raisins and small pieces of hotdog. Solid pieces of carrots are a no-no. i: “I” means “me.” The better you take care of yourself, the better you can take care of baby. Think nutrition, fitness and hours per week devoted just to yourself and your husband. Babyhood is no excuse to lose out on another “I” word intimacy. kisses: Plant lots and lots of silly kisses all over your baby. The baby will feel loved, you’ll feel good, and sooner than you know it, your baby will be giving them back in spades. lullabies: Sing to your child any song. Your baby will respond to the rhythms of the music and feel comforted hearing your voice. Babies don’t care if you’re way off pitch. But if you can’t stand the sound of your own voice, consider “We Sing for Baby” (book and CD set). Part of the popular Wee Sing series, the release contains 65 songs, rhymes and action verses for babies and toddlers. maternity clothes: Here’s a cool tip: Regular clothes in larger sizes or plus-sizes fit great and are stylish for the first four to five months of pregnancy. Many moms I know, including myself, wore size 16 jeans with elastic around the waist, and many of us raided our husbands’ closets for button-down shirts. These and regular maternity clothes are also great for those first months after giving birth. And avoid high heels or sandals with thin, tight straps. Flats and flip-flops are better. Don’t be a fashion slave; be comfortable. naps: Nearly all newborns and babies nap, and they need the rest as much as you do. When possible, new moms should seize the opportunity to nap when the baby does. Naps are critical for toddlers, too; they become REALLY cranky when overtired. Establish a nap schedule and stick to it. For a reluctant napper, try rocking your child or playing gentle music. And keep trying. Better naps mean better nighttime sleep. For more information on naps, visit the National Sleep Foundation’s website at www.sleepfoundation.org/baby.cfm. The foundation also offers sleep guidelines for newborns, infants and toddlers. outfitting baby: How many of us recall when our baby spit up big time or our toddler spilled milk all over his shirt, and we panicked because we were at the park and didn’t have any spare clothes with us? Don’t end up wrapping your baby in your jacket or running home. ALWAYS bring one or two extra outfits on outings. pediatrician: Don’t wait until after your baby is born or gets sick to find a pediatrician. Seek references from friends, interview doctors and check with your insurance plan before the birth. Finding a pediatrician you like is critical. You will develop a long-term relationship with this person, so choose wisely. quiet time: How do you get some? With a baby in the house, quiet time is hard to come by. Try sitting outside in the back yard on a nice day and reading while your baby naps. Or have someone else watch the baby and go out on an evening date with your spouse. Go to a nice, quiet restaurant not a family-type restaurant where other diners are likely to bring their noisy kids. reading: Some childless people may wonder why we parents spend so much time reading to our babies when they can’t understand what we’re saying. Comprehension isn’t the point, rather, bonding with your child and teaching a love of books. Babies of all ages like being read to. Most pediatricians recommend reading to babies as soon as they come home from the hospital. Research suggests that babies who are read to are more enthusiastic about reading, more successful in school, are better readers and more likely to remain lifelong readers. Reading aloud exposes babies to speech patterns, teaches them good language skills early, and enriches their vocabularies. Your baby will learn to associate books with good things. Here’s my family’s personal rule: My husband or I read a story or two to our son every night before he goes to bed. We take turns with our son choosing the stories, and he actually gets excited about bedtime now. Among the children’s classics to consider are “Goodnight Moon,” “The Very Hungry Caterpillar” and “Chicka Chicka Boom Boom.” siblings: It may be hard to avoid the jealousy issue at first, so prepare your child for a new sibling well in advance. Include your child in preparing for the new baby. For example, when shopping for baby items, let him help you pick them out. And why not take your child out to get his own special gift to bring to the baby at the hospital? At home, let your older child help diaper, feed and hold the baby, with your supervision and guidance. Be prepared for some testing, however. There may be times when you will just have to put the baby down to hug your toddler! And make the time, inside and outside the home, for just “Mommy and Me” time with the older one. toys: My son loved baby and toddler toys: small board books, magnetic drawing pad, crayons, the Gymini, stacking blocks and rings, the Baby Einstein infant videos (Baby Mozart was my personal favorite), the little push lawnmower, little farm animals, little cars and little fun kaleidoscopes to look through. Toys I stayed away from included all those busy, electronic toys with way too many buttons and way too many obnoxious sounds that claim to be educational but really aren’t. I don’t think my son ever learned anything from them other than how to become overstimulated by flashing lights and noise. umbilical cord blood: The storing of your baby’s umbilical cord blood is a relatively new medical issue. This blood is usually discarded after birth, but thousands of parents around the world are now saving it. Why? Human umbilical cord blood contains an unusually rich supply of stem cells that produce the red, white and immune cells that make up your blood. Stem cells found in cord blood have been used to save the lives of people with more than 45 diseases, including types of cancer and blood disorders. Cord blood is a perfect match to your baby’s blood, should you ever need it later if your child becomes ill. It also can be used to help a sick sibling or relative. The American Association of Pediatrics estimates that the chances of banking and later using the stem cells for a transplant are about 1 in 20,000. So this is something else to consider during pregnancy, especially if you have a family history or a predisposition to certain diseases. Talk to a genetic counselor or your doctor to learn more. Or, contact a provider of the service. Here are three: California Cryobank Stem Cell Services Inc. (800.400.3430), Cord Blood Registry (888.932.6568), Viacord (866.668.4895). vaccines: We hear more and more these days about health risks associated with immunizing infants and toddlers, usually from some media story about a child who was allegedly harmed by vaccines gone awry. But pediatricians say the risks of contracting terrible diseases are much greater than any risks associated with the immunizations. Doctors encourage parents to vaccinate their children on a schedule for diseases such as measles, mumps, and hepatitis as early as possible. Public schools and many day-care centers and preschools also require children to be vaccinated. The 2005 Childhood and Adolescent Immunization Schedule, recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics, Centers for Disease Control and other organizations, can be downloaded for free at www.cispimmunize.org/ websites: Parents now have easy access to a wealth of information. Here are three must-haves to place in your address book. • KidsHealth, created by The Nemours Foundation’s Center for Children’s Health Media, provides doctor-approved health information about children from before birth through adolescence (wwwkidshealth.org). • Dr. Spock Company, created by doctors and other experts, delivers original articles and answers to parents’ questions (www.drspock.com). Topics range from newborn care to how to entertain your baby. • American Academy of Pediatrics, an organization of 60,000 pediatricians, offers a number of recommendations for families (www.aap.org) and well as information on a number of health topics. x: This marks the spot for all those letters we couldn’t address. So we add three here E for education, M for music, and R for religion. education is a parental thing, first and foremost. Before you start blaming the system and the teacher, make sure you have done everything in your power at home to nurture the learning child. And start with baby. Music expands the mind and soul. Play music often at home and consider piano lessons and the like around age 7. Call it religion or spirituality or community support. Families need a special bond in this crazy world. Churches, temples and synagogues provide a source of strength that families often can’t find alone. yes: Try to say “yes” a little more to your child. We say “no” so often, it’s almost automatic. Try to pick your battles and give in a little, even if it means making a mess. Be creative. Instead of telling your toddler, “No, you can’t have another cookie,” try saying, “Yes, you can have another cookie if you pick up your toys first.” Then help her pick up the toys and have a cookie yourself. zoo: No, not the place with the caged animals. This is what your home has become now that you have a child! Most of all, enjoy this stage of your baby’s life. The moments go quickly. Amy Bentley of Temecula is a longtime journalist. This is her first report for OC Family Magazine. milestones What to expect during the first year By Dr. Clyde Wesp The first year of a baby’s life has the most rapid and profound change of any to come. The nice part about new babies is that they are healthy, robust new beings that are more resilient and, at times, more resistant than you might think. When looking at growth and development, a few common principles apply: There is always a range of normal. Not every child achieves developmental milestones at the same time. The rate of development is dependent upon two things motivation and ability. Your child’s personality will often influence how he progresses. A child may have the ability but the skill will not be present until the child is motivated. Progress is more important than the exact timing. All of the areas of development at interrelated. More complex skills build upon previous, simpler ones. Your child will develop in spite of you. The first 3 months A newborn’s world is rather small. However, look into your baby’s eyes, speak to him, hold her, feel how an infant’s body feels next to yours as you feed or cuddle. Touch a hand. You have just assessed all areas of development and had the opportunity to influence and lead your child on the developmental road. As parents talk to their infants and make facial expressions (most of the time with smiles), the infant at about 2 months will respond with a smile and a coo. This is a very exciting and reassuring moment for parents. Smiling and talking are high-level functions that can reassure you that your child is progressing. Months 4-6 Social development has made a quantum leap. Your child recognizes you, smiles and laughs and even will make noises to get your attention when she is bored. The simplest item can be fascinating because it is new. Foods on a spoon are a great source of interest and discovery for the 6-month-old. Your infant will want to hold his head upright at 4 months and sit alone at 6 months to see what is happening. Infants at 4 to 5 months will be rolling and getting ready to move forward. Getting the muscles ready with “tummy time” is helpful. Months 6-9 During this time, your child makes more sounds, his hands get more sophisticated and he interacts more socially with family members. You will notice your child building on past skills, making movements and articulations finer and more sophisticated. You will also notice that he is becoming a dangerous individual, without fear or anticipation of any peril and vulnerable to harm. You now transition into a protector from physical injury; the keeper of the keys. Months 9-12 As a parent of a 9-month-old, you will experience your child’s “first adolescence.” Adolescence is defined in the dictionary as a “transitional period of development between youth and maturity.” Get ready! Your child has now learned enough to know what he wants and does not, what foods he likes and not and how to spit them out when he wants. Your child now sees himself as separate from you and from others and wants to do more things by himself, such as eating, exploring and playing. Remember, keep in mind there is a wide range of normal. A 1-year-old child walks, says a word or two, feeds himself and is independent and secure enough to let you know in either words or behavior what he likes or dislikes. Look at the first year as a continuum and it all falls into place. Dr. Clyde Wesp is a pediatrician with Southern Orange County Pediatric Associates with offices in Lake Forest, Laguna Hills, Rancho Santa Margarita, Ladera Ranch and San Clemente. fave places By Blake Frino Help for breastfeeding moms While some moms prefer not to breastfeed in public, most have become nonchalant about it and don’t mind it at all. Finding comfortable places for breastfeeding in Orange County has become the new, sort of real-time Google search. Babies “R” Us, IKEA, Bergstroms and The Shops at Mission Viejo have a “Mom’s Room” in the bathrooms. There are also sitting rooms in Target, and Nordstrom has a ladies lounge that offers a comfortable setting and complete privacy. Macys has a family room. Are those enough public spaces? Probably not, since baby wants to be fed when he wants to be fed, not necessarily right at the time mom is buying shoes at Nordstrom. So, to improvisation. Many women just put a blanket over the baby while breastfeeding, and restaurants like the Rainforest Café in South Coast Plaza create a relaxed atmosphere where many families, especially mothers and their children, dine. A cover-up consisting of a shawl or blanket helps make mothers feel less exposed, which creates ease at restaurants like Ruby’s Diner at the Laguna Hills Mall where outdoor seating is available, and The Cheesecake Factory, which has booths and space between other diners. Breast pump manufacturer Medela hosts a series of fun and informative surveys each month, and in May you can cast your vote for your favorite public venue to breastfeed at www.medela.com. babies galore Orange County is alive with newborns If the fact that nearly 1 in every 10 babies born in California this year will be an Orange County resident doesn’t impress you, maybe this does: 1 of every 90 projected American births in 2005 will be here, in the fifth-largest county in the U.S. There are more than 3 million residents…and counting. An estimated 44,705 babies will be born in Orange County this year, among the 537,656 statewide, according to the state Department of Finance, Demographic Research Unit. Among California’s 58 counties, only Los Angeles County expects more births in 2005. Nationwide, about 4 million babies are born each year, according to the National Center for Health Statistics. That number matches the tremendous birthrate of the Baby Boom era (1946-64), when 76 million Americans were born, or nearly one-third of the population. genetics 101 Understanding your baby’s secrets By Brette McWhorter Sember One of the biggest questions expectant parents ponder is, who will the baby resemble? Will he have grandma’s nose or Uncle Joe’s sense of humor? Will she have mom’s blond hair or sing like grandpa? The answers to all of these questions are hidden inside your baby from the moment he or she is conceived. Genes are the key to who your baby will be. We understand more about genes than ever before, now that the Human Genome Project has completed the sequencing of the human genetic code (www.nhgri.nih.gov/). What are genes? When a baby is conceived, each parent provides the child with 23 chromosomes. The chromosomes from the mother and father match up and create pairs. Each baby has a total of 46 chromosomes that create 23 matched pairs of chromosomes. Almost all of your child’s biological information is encoded on these chromosomes. “All the important genes that run in our biology are housed in chromosomes,” explains Dr. Paul Billings, vice president and national director of Genetics and Genomics Lab Corp. of America. These chromosomes are then reproduced in the nucleus of every cell in the baby’s body, providing instructions for how the body should be built and function. Genes are smaller pieces of the chromosomes. “There are about 30,000 genes in the human genome and are distributed across the chromosomes,” says Dr. Billings. These genes are what determine what the body will look like and to some extent how the brain will function. Struggles between genes Some genes are dominant or recessive. Remember that genes come in pairs one from the mother and one from the father. A dominant gene is one that will trump the other gene in the pair. For example, the gene for flat feet is dominant. If a child inherits a gene for flat feet from one parent and a gene for regular feet from the other parent, he or she will have flat feet, according to Dr. Hope Northup, director of the Division of Medical Genetics at the University of Texas Medical School at Houston. A recessive gene is one that will show its trait only if the child inherits the recessive gene from each parent. “Cystic fibrosis and sickle cell disease are autosomal recessive disorders requiring both parents to be carriers,” says Dawn Allain, president of the National Society of Genetic Counselors. The concept of dominance and recessiveness does not apply to all, or even most, genes. “In general, genes act in a blended fashion,” says Dr. Billings. Most genes don’t win out over another and instead work together to create a trait. Most physical appearance traits, such as height, facial characteristics and body shape are multigenic. James Manser, associate professor of biology at Harvey Mudd College explains, “They are multigenic traits, meaning they are controlled by multiple genes whose individual contributions may not be well understood.” How genes are lost Guessing at your baby’s genetic makeup is usually difficult. What makes it so complicated is the fact that we inherit only one chromosome from each parent to make up each of the chromosome pairs. The other chromosome that that parent carries is not passed on. Dr. Northrup explains, “Each person receives 50% of their DNA from each parent; therefore, roughly half the genes from each grandparent are ‘lost’ to any individual grandchild.” There is no way for a person to know which genes he or she inherited from his or her parents and no way to know which half of his or her own chromosome pairs will be passed to a baby. Hair and eye color Geneticists used to believe that there was one gene pair that determined eye color, but now the thinking has changed. “Eye color is determined through the action of multiple genes,” explains Dr. Northrup. There is no simple way to predict eye color, but blue and green are generally thought to be recessive traits, meaning a child must inherit two blue recessive genes to have blue eyes. Brown is usually a dominant trait. Hair color is known to be a multigenic trait, which explains the wide variety of shades and colors possible. Handedness Whether your baby will be right- or left-handed is not clearly based on genes. “We don’t understand the genetic basics of handedness,” says Dr. Billings. “There is no predictive test. It is probably encoded by several genes. There are biological and genetic influences as well as environmental influences.” Height Height is another multigenic trait that takes into account both the mother’s genes and the father’s genes. However, if you want to know what height your baby will probably reach as an adult, try the online height predictor: www.keepkidshealthy.com/welcome/htcalculator.html. Intelligence, creativity, and personality Parents often wonder if their child will inherit some of their characteristics dad’s sense of humor or mom’s artistic ability. “Surely there are important genetic effects on the various ways of measuring intelligence and creativeness,” suggests Dr. Billings. “The way the brain is formed, how it is connected and the ways it interacts with the rest of the body is biological. Are there genetic tests for intelligence? No.” Personality is determined in a similar way. “Since so much of personality arises from the mind and brain, surely genes will play a role in its development and characteristics, but it is not likely that much of character will be significantly determined by our genetics,” says Dr. Billings. “Now that the entire human genome has been sequenced, it should be possible to identify all of the genes necessary to build and run a human. Linking each gene to a particular trait will be difficult, but it is a goal of modern biology,” says Dr. Manser. While the future may lead to much more detailed genetic testing, right now genetic tests can only provide a certain amount of information. “No currently available genetic tests can accurately predict physical characteristics,” points out Dr. Billings. There’s no way to know if your baby will have grandma’s nose until delivery, but Dr. Manser suggests that in general your baby will look, and act, like “a blended version of the two parents.” For more information about genetic counseling, contact the National Society of Genetic Counselors at www.nsgc.org or 610-872-7608. Brette McWhorter Sember is the author of “Your Practical Pregnancy Planner: A Month-by-Month Guide to All Financial and Legal Aspects of Preparing for Your Baby,” published by Contemporary Books. Her website is www.BretteSember.com. |
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