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During last July’s 5.8 earthquake, 3-year-old Bronwyn told her 1-year-old sister, “We’re going for a wiggle.” READ MORE
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Editor's Note: There he stood, his feet anchored to his mommy's belly, the onesie keeping him warm, his sleeves rimmed in holiday red. He seemed simply angelic. It was a Sunday, in church. He is 4-5 months old and a robustly sung song has peeked his interest. Who are those voices? Where are those voices? With his mouth closed in that classic baby look of awe, wonder and curiosity, eyes wide as he looks left, then right, one can only imagine how his ears have filled with music. This baby is God's handiwork, sure as those moments when he looks upward and a convenient beam of light illuminates his face. An immortal face. Before the second song is over, his head rests on mommy's shoulder. His hand clasps her shoulder. He's decided to sleep the good sleep, to sit this song out. He is a reason we just love publishing our annual issue devoted to babies. This year's title for our annual Big Baby Issue is "24 steps for the first 24 months." First-time mom and longtime contributor S. Danyelle Knight, reporting with experience at hand, gives this report: What a paradox. We parents are so eager to see our babies arrive at each new stage in their development, and yet we long for them to remain our soft and tender cherubs forever. The best we can do is to encourage their fits and starts at growing up...and try to cherish every milestone along the way. Here's how: Step 1: Preparing the nursery Nothing is more fun in the months leading up to B-day than preparing baby's nursery. When purchasing the basics for your baby's room, keep flexibility and durability in mind. Choose quality, versatile furniture pieces that will grow with your child, like a changing table that can do double duty as a dresser. Make certain your crib meets the latest U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission standards and don't use an old or borrowed mattress. Soft, squishy bumper pads and lofty quilts look cozy, but the American SIDS Institute (sids.org) warns that they may present a suffocation hazard. Don't forget a comfy glider or rocker for mom and dad, plenty of storage solutions, a diaper disposal system and a white noise machine or CD player for lullabies. If only the best will do for your little bambina, go shopping online at poshtots.com. Step 2: Choosing a pediatrician Like many other big decisions you'll have to make in the next few months, a good referral from a trusted friend or family member goes a long way to ensuring your peace of mind. Call your insurance company or visit their online provider directory to make certain the pediatricians you are considering are covered under your policy. Then, it's time to do your homework. Inquire as to the hours of operation and whether or not a pediatrician's office offers weekend appointments. Ask if same-day appointments are available. You may also be interested in a practice with multiple physicians. In the event that your doctor's schedule is booked solid, his or her colleague may be able to see your baby and then share the diagnosis with your pediatrician. Step 3: Breast/bottle feeding Just because it's natural doesn't mean it comes naturally. So, if you plan to nurse your infant, it's wise to educate yourself and your spouse by attending breastfeeding classes. Surround yourself with people who are supportive of your decision, identify a lactation specialist you can call for guidance (many make house calls) and purchase breastfeeding accoutrements, such as nursing bras, breast pads, lanolin ointment and a breast pump. It also helps to have a 24/7 online resource to turn to like breastfeeding.com. Whether you plan to breastfeed exclusively or not, it doesn't hurt to have a contingency plan. For the purposes of simplification, infant formulas come in two basic types: cow's milk-based and soy-based. In the milk-based arena, companies have developed lactose-free products and formulations made of broken-down milk proteins to assist babies with allergies or sensitivity to cow's milk. Consult your pediatrician for advice on whether your child requires a special formula. Regardless of whether you select a soy- or milk-based product, choose a formula that contains DHA (docosahexaenoic acid) and ARA (arachidonic acid), nutrients that have been shown to support brain and eye development. Step 4: Tub time Bathing a baby is not as easy as it sounds, especially the first time, but tub time can be something you and your child look forward to if you keep these three pointers from Johnson's in mind (baby.com): • Test the water temperature to be sure it's not too hot - between 90 and 100 degrees is ideal. • Fill the tub with only 2-3 inches for newborns and infants up to 6 months old and never more than waist-high (in sitting position) for older children. • Never leave your baby alone in the bath, not even for an instant. A child can drown in less than an inch of water. Step 5: Soothing 101 It's a tough transition from the warmth and security of the womb to the cold, harsh world. According to "The Happiest Baby on the Block" author and pediatrician Harvey Karp, it's a transition that happens three months too early, when babies' nervous systems aren't prepared for all that greets them on the other side of the birth canal. The angry cries and fussiness often referred to as colic, he believes may be solved by a five-step method that includes loud, rhythmic shushing, tight swaddling, resting baby on his side or stomach (not recommended for overnight or naps), swinging and sucking. Karp's advice is really not that revolutionary, considering moms and dads for generations have sworn by pacifiers, baby swings and long car rides as ways to calm the savage baby. He has simply perfected the skills your great-great grandma knew by heart. Step 6: Sleep baby sleep Experts are divided about the proper method for getting little Junior to sleep through the night, though they all agree sleep is as essential to your baby's growth and development as good nutrition. It's during deep sleep that baby's brain kicks into overdrive, making nerve cell connections that are vital for everything from good behavior to success in school. Visit babycenter.com to view actual videos of first-time parents trying out the Sears method and the controversial Ferber method of sleep training. My husband and I followed the advice of a friend with twins who recommended "Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child" by Dr. Mark Weissbluth. Though a somewhat dry read, the book had my baby boy sleeping through the night at 3 months. Step 7: Reading aloud One of the simplest, most enjoyable ways to stimulate your baby's brain is to hit the books. There's plenty of research that proves moms and dads who start reading to their children as early as infancy jumpstart their children's literacy and language skills. A great read to support this concept is "Baby Read-Aloud Basics" by Caroline Blakemore and Barbara Ramirez. These two elementary reading specialists suggest sharing your own childhood favorites with your baby as well as reading rhyming books and board books with fun illustrations. Step 8: When to call the doctor Learning the difference between a boo-boo that can be healed with a kiss and a bacterial infection that requires a pediatrician's touch is one of the things first-timers often learn the hard way. When your child's well-being is your first priority, it's easy to overreact to the slightest sniffle. So how do you know when to call the doctor? Pregnancyweekly.com lists several reasons to start dialing, including labored breathing, high fever, excessive vomiting and diarrhea and dramatic changes in temperament. If you feel something isn't right, call your doctor's office and ask to speak with a nurse. In minutes, you'll know whether to pack your diaper bag or send your worries packing. Step 9: Immunizations There's nothing fun about this topic, but immunizations are a necessary evil. The Centers for Disease Control and the American Academy of Pediatrics tell parents that the risks of vaccination are miniscule compared to the benefits of protecting your child from potentially deadly diseases. Visit cispimmunize.org for answers to frequently asked questions and a current immunization schedule. Step 10: Child care Leaving your child in the care of a stranger is one of the toughest things a parent will ever have to do, whether this happens at 6 weeks or 6 years of age. There are several options, each with its own advantages and disadvantages: family-based care, center-based care and at-home care with a nanny or babysitter. Again, asking for referrals from friends and family members is the best way to start your search. Then, it's time for some detective work to determine what works best for you and your child. When it comes to daycare centers, the National Association for the Education of Young Children suggests looking for a well-trained staff, a low child-to-teacher ratio, small overall group size (for example, no more than 10-12 toddlers in a room), low staff turnover and a clean, healthy environment. Step 11: Babywearing Imagine doing housework, checking emails and grocery shopping all with your little one in tow. It's a novel concept for American moms who grew up pushing their dolls around in strollers, but babywearing has been around for centuries - and it's making a comeback. Advocates say toting tots in slings helps ease the transition from the womb and supports development as infants are closer to the action of mom's and dad's daily life. If you're new to the concept of child carriers, it can help to attend a class where you'll get an opportunity to try different models on for size and learn the best ways to guard your back and your child's safety. For babywearing resources in your area, visit nineinnineout.org. (For more information, see article in First Years.) Step 12: Exercise Babies need plenty of time to stretch their little limbs in preparation for crawling, cruising and walking, so start providing opportunities for exercise early on. Doctors recommend allowing your infant to spend at least 30 minutes a day on his tummy in order to build the upper body strength needed to support his huge noggin. Just be sure to supervise tummy time, since the risk of suffocation and SIDS-related death is greater when babies are placed on their bellies. In order to make your child feel more comfortable facing down, you could try lying down with him on your chest or propping him up on a firm pillow. When he is ready to explore further, a roving toy like Playskool's Crawl n' Flutter Bee may encourage crawling. Step 13: Childproofing Since babies grow like weeds, it's smart to childproof your home before they become mobile. Securely attach tall bookcases and cabinets to the wall to prevent tipping from curious toddlers. Stash chemicals and cleaning products on a high shelf far from baby's reach. Since two-thirds of home fires that kill children occur in homes without a working fire alarm, test your alarms and replace old batteries. Plug electrical sockets, install latches on cupboards and put up sturdy gates to redirect baby away from kitchens and bathrooms. Visit onestepahead.com for childproofing suggestions and products. Step 14: Introducing solid foods Pediatricians recommend waiting until your baby is 6 or 7 months old before introducing solid foods. Any earlier and there's a higher risk of your child developing food allergies - and it's unlikely she will be able to sit up on her own or properly swallow solid food before 6 months. It's a common misconception that feeding sweet foods like pureed bananas will "spoil" baby's palate for more savory fare. Breastfed infants often respond best to sweeter first foods; formula-fed babies may prefer the bland taste of rice cereal. Start with single-ingredient baby foods like sweet potatoes or pears, and wait a week before trying another entrée so you'll know what to blame if your baby shows signs of a food allergy. For advice on how to make the first trip to the highchair a fun one, go to askdoctorsears.com. Step 15: Teething The first glimmer of shiny, white enamel - it's one of those exciting milestones that happens between months 4 and 6. Unfortunately, those precious little teeth are often preceded by weeks of drooling, whining and restless nights. Though experts aren't sure just how uncomfortable teething is for infants, any mom can tell you that it's no walk in the park. Ask your doctor what pain relievers are best to administer on baby's crankiest days and nights. You may have some success with homeopathic teething tablets. There are plenty of teething rings and toys for your child to cut his teeth on, but something as simple as an icy cold washcloth works just as well. Step 16: Creeping, crawling and cruising No longer content to sit still and observe the world around him, your baby is determined to get from Point A to Point B any way she can. She may crawl on all fours, scoot on her belly or pull up to standing and cruise along the furniture. Any method of locomotion between 6 and 10 months is a sign that your child is developing normally, so don't worry if she doesn't crawl on cue. According to Dr. Greene, author of "From First Kicks to First Steps," you can encourage your child to get moving by making sure she spends time on her tummy, by placing toys just out of her reach and by playing on the floor with your baby. Just don't get crazy about crawling. It's not a developmental milestone, and chances are your baby will be off to the races before you know it. Step 17: Walking It's one small step for baby and one giant leap for mom and dad! All bets are off the minute your baby becomes a surefooted biped, so make sure you have thoroughly babyproofed your home. You may even consider removing furniture like the oft-offending coffee table. Contrary to popular opinion, your baby doesn't need special shoe support to walk properly. Shoes with flexible soles like Robeez (robeez.com) promote development and prevent baby from tripping. Bare feet work great too. Step 18: Baby talk By the time your child is a year old, she should have a few recognizable words in her vocabulary. Some babies, especially boys, can be a bit slower with speech development, but they generally catch up by age 2. Helping your baby express herself is good for both child and parent, since it cuts down on crying and tantrums. Encourage conversation by talking to your baby from day one. Ask questions and pause for her answer. Explain what is going on when you change her diaper or run her bathwater. The more you talk to your baby, the more likely she will want to get a word in edgeways. Some parents also swear by sign language as an early communication tool. To find out more, visit babysigns.com. Step 19: Television watching I don't think I could have survived the first six months of my child's young life had it not been for Baby Einstein videos. And yet, I know what the American Academy of Pediatrics has to say on the topic of television watching - none before the age of 2. A recent study shows that toddlers who are television watchers are at a much greater risk for developing ADD/ADHD later in life. If it helps you break the habit or keep from buying those "educational" videos in the first place, consider that moms and babies made it for millennia without the boob tube. Step 20: Toys for tots Let your friends, family and co-workers know how you feel about baby toys before a battery-operated nightmare takes over your child's nursery. That's not to say there aren't some great toys out there that require battery power, but as a rule of thumb, babies prefer simple playthings. Stacking rings, blocks, push toys and puzzles are perennial favorites. Be wary of so-called educational toys that basically play themselves. As the saying goes, play is baby's work, and these toys make it too easy. Step 21: School readiness Many parents start worrying about whether or not their baby will get into Harvard while the little guy is still sticking pees up his nose. While that's just craziness, it is smart to start thinking about ways you can support your child's social and emotional growth so that he has the best chance of success in school. According to the experts at zerotothree.com, children need to develop skills in four key areas: • Language and Literacy - Learning to communicate through gestures, sounds, and words, which leads to the ability to read. • Thinking Skills - Learning how the world works, from their first understanding of "I call out...mom comes" to counting, sorting and problem-solving. • Self-Control - The ability to express and manage emotions in appropriate ways, which helps children with cooperating, coping and resolving conflict. • Self-Confidence - Believing they can be successful at taking on new challenges is essential for intellectual development. Step 22: Mealtime mayhem Get ready for some spaghetti tossing as your child approaches her second birthday. Even if your baby had exemplary etiquette before, it's likely her table manners are going to take a turn for the worse. Toddlers are notoriously finicky and if you're not careful, mealtime can become a battle of the wills. "In How to Get Your Kid to Eat...But Not Too Much," Ellyn Satter lays down the law for parents who might be tempted to force food upon their picky eaters. She says it's your job to prepare and present a healthy variety of foods and to create a pleasant mealtime atmosphere. The rest is up to your baby. Step 23: The big-kid bed There will come a day when your little cuddle bug will need to trade up to a big-boy bed. The transition usually happens between 18 and 24 months or whenever your baby is able to hoist himself out of the crib. Some children are perfectly content in their cribs until age 2 and beyond. When it's time to make the switch, help your child adjust by holding on to favorite blankets and stuffed animals. If your baby is an active sleeper, install rails on either side of the bed to help him feel more secure. Step 24: Temper tantrums The twos can be terrible or terrific, depending upon how you deal with this issue. In "Raising Your Spirited Child," Mary Kurcinka suggests learning your child's tantrum triggers and avoiding these situations whenever possible. As much as you may want to run in the opposite direction, stay near your child and help him use words to express how he is feeling. Make sure he understands hitting others or throwing things is inappropriate and follow through with clear consequences. Losing control now and then is natural at this stage in your child's development, so once the episode is over, let your toddler know that you still love him and he can start over. S. Danyelle Knight is a regular contributor. |
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