OC Family - Moms. Kids. Life. - (The Bush Report)

A bully gets what's coming to him

Tue, 28 Sep 2010 08:00:00 GMT

A Sanford, Florida, father was recently jailed after he stormed a school bus and went all "old-school" on his daughter's bullies. His efforts did not go un-noticed. The Seminole County Sheriff's office arrested the man and charged him with disorderly conduct for lashing out at the perpetrators of the peer-to-peer terror.

In this lawyer laden, politically-correct, overly sensitive society, I think there's something refreshing about the primal way this man handled the protection of his daughter. I'm sure his vigilante justice has proven more effective than the memo the school might have issued (but didn't). The man claims he went to school officials before his tirade, and, collectively, they did nothing.

Many parents speak of how selfless they are with regard to their children, but could they muster the courage to do something as brash as this father? What this man did was wanton disregard for his freedom in favor of his daughter's.

I witnessed a bully at the park earlier this summer, and I was quick to reprimand the boy. It reminded me that I had my own re-curring encounter with a bully when I was in junior high. Several years later, I solved it for good (read that story here).

But not everybody can be their own champion. Especially this girl who reportedly has cerebral palsy. Given that fact, it makes the kids' bullying actions that much more reprehensible and father's actions understandable. Perhaps we'd have even more empathy if we saw the reported "second video" that shows a boy throwing the a condom on the 13-year old girl's head?

Where was the bus driver when this was going on? Isn't he supposed to be an authority figure? If not, then there shouldn't there be a chaperone from the school on the bus? It's reasonable to expect that your child be safe and free from persecution on a publicly-funded school bus. Perhaps the better remedy would have been a lawsuit directed at the school district, bus driver and parents of the bullies? That might have been an effective and lucrative remedy, but this man wanted immediate results and my guess is he got them.

You'll notice in the video the bully's mother is upset to the point of tears with the father's actions. Hey lady, I've got a better idea. Why don't you discipline your child for acting inhumanely. If you don't, you'll be visiting him in juvenile hall within a couple years.

As for the man, I say kudos to him for his courage and motivation to defend his daughter, though maybe not so much for the way he went about it. Having said that, I'd hope that if I did have a daughter that needed me like that girl needed her dad, I'd be there on that bus thinking of her welfare and not my own.

And for the girl who had been on suicide watch, what a sense of pride she must now have knowing her father has her back and how indelible his love for her is.

Here's more on bullies Can't we All Get Along?

and more on adventures in the park: In Park

The Big ABCD

Tue, 14 Sep 2010 03:11:00 GMT

I’ve got good news and bad news for you.

First the good.

The Angels have an awesome program called “Reading on the Green.” It’s a place where dad’s like me get to realize a dream of taking the field on professional baseball grass. Well, there’s an educational component too. It’s part of the Angels “Rally Readers,” a summer reading program that encourages kids to read.

While I’m sure it’s educational and all, I’m here to talk about the excitement for a 4-year old going on the field in a professional stadium… well, it’s actually hard to gauge in always-happy preschooler, but for a grown-a$$ man, it was awesome!

I think Jack was actually was more excited about the backpack full of back-to-school tchotchkes they gave away.

So here’s how the day goes:

After checking in with members of the Angels Strike Force (clearly, Jack is thrilled),

you take the field “picnic style” where Juan Rivera would normally be.

Then you pose for obligatory pictures.

and again…

and still again…

Then you actually do some reading.

After The Giving Tree, Green Eggs and Ham and a Pop-Up Baseball Book in the 90-degree heat, it was time to socialize.

So all-in-all, it was a great way to spend a long lunch-hour. Who knows? Maybe it was an indelible experience that he’ll remember always. I know I won’t ever forget it… at least not until I’ve gone senile, holed up in some crummy rest home, eating peas through a straw… but I digress.

So on with the bad news.

The program is over for the summer, so this has just been a big tease. Stay tuned for next year.

That which never was sometimes is...

Sat, 04 Sep 2010 12:28:00 GMT

We have one beautiful, wonderful son. Though he will tell you he's not beautiful, pretty, or cute... he's cool.

We wanted another child, and we thought we had one... twice... but we ended up with something altogether different... miscarriages.

People will tell you they're more common than you think. Clinicians will tell you it didn't survive because there was something wrong. But all the world's words and conciliatory and consolatory gestures are of little solace; they don't change the fact that you're heartbroken to a degree that mortal words can't capture. There's something that must be especially saddening to the women, the vessels, the life givers in these situations. I can't imagine what it must feel like, but I try. I try to empathize. We dads feel the pain too.

More than you know.

I sometimes wonder what would life would have been like. I do, and I grow sad all over again. Jack would be so good with a little brother or sister. He's good, sweet, and as you can see from the video, cool.

I am grateful and thankful of the wonderful family I have, but often, I deeply saddened for the one I don't.

'Diary of a Wimpy Kid': should you touch this cheese?

Tue, 03 Aug 2010 23:54:00 GMT

Diary of a Wimpy Kid (in stores August 3) chronicles a boy's entry into middle school. It's based on the best-selling illustrated novel by Jeff Kinney, but for the purposes of the movie, the diary is used as a story telling vehicle, ala the narration on the late '80s TV show The Wonder Years.

Ignoring the "fly under the radar" advice of his twisted older brother, our hero, Greg Heffley, tries all sort of activities to move himself up the popularity rungs... all with less-than stellar results. The bullies and the nerds are broadly drawn, and there's a lot of potty humor throughout.

One device in the film is a piece of swiss cheese that's been left to fester on the playground blacktop. Legend has it that whomever touches the cheese contracts the dreaded "cheese touch" making the toucher the school pariah. Gross bodily fluids play a too large role in this junior high for my taste. Then again, my kid's jokes are either of the "knock-knock" or "poopie" variety, so perhaps it's on point?

I could see how this would play more aptly in illustration form, and there'd be a natural attraction for a kid who has the book to see the movie. It does have a narrow niche. It's probably too much the book's target audience, and to banal for pre-teens portrayed in the film. It does deliver a good message at the end, but it failed to hold the attention of my four-year-old for 94 minutes. Having said that, it's entirely possible the mother-in-law had him jacked up on candy. To the film's credit, my wife and I saw it through long after the Jack tuned out, so the film does have definite charm.

The official site for the film is excellent with games and personal animations, and you can watch the studio trailer here.

Another POV: Roger Ebert gives Diary 3 1/2 stars (out of 4), but my guess is he identified with the wimpy kid (and diaries) more than most.

Contest: Win 10 iStorytime books

Tue, 03 Aug 2010 01:09:00 GMT

Should a 4-Year Old have an iPod Touch?

Too late, he already does. Totally contrary to the vitriol posted on Yahoo Answers. Apparently, I've compromised his development and have shirked parental duties by doing so? Whatever... it won't be the last time.

I'm a Blackberry apologist, but it was my idea to splurge on the iTouch, and it wasn't even my battery he'd been running down. My wife is the iPhone addict. But before I doth protest too much about hating The Apple Gestapo, please kindly remind me we have 3 ipods and an iPhone under this roof.

So tonight, Jack and I sat on the couch and played with Talking Tom and some iStorytime apps (see contest below). iStorytime is an illustrated, narrated collection of children's books for the iPhone. They have the option of reading aloud and automatic page turning, basically being the the parenting proxy the harpies on Yahoo accused me of .

And about the iTouch, lest you think we made the wrong decision. When I came home from work yesterday, unprompted by his mother (who did all the leg work), he looked up at me with his big blue eyes and said "thank you daddy for my iPhone." Ahh, gorgeous and gracious, not a bad combo.

So about the iStorytimeapp contest. A friend of mine is the co-founder of the parent company. He's agreed to give away 10 iStoryTime titles to some OC Family faithful. Also, be sure to follow @iStoryTime on Twitter. They've been know to put free codes for some of the books... There's a free download code for Peter Pan HD there now (already redeemed).

For contest entry, simply log a comment below. Contest begins immediately and lasts until 11:59 p.m. PT, Thursday August 5th. Comments will be given a numeric value in order of posting date, and winner will be chosen at/by random, One entry per email address please.

Good luck!

Tons of Funundrum: Behind The Scenes at the Circus

Thu, 29 Jul 2010 12:33:00 GMT

I had a big date this morning... 10 thousand pounds worth... just as advertised, she was tons of fun...

What was this all about? Well, the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus kicked off the Orange County run of Funundrum! at Honda Center last night, and we got the clean up duties. Actually, we got a close-up insider's look at the elephants baths they got before their afternoon performance today.

Because of some Orange County ordinance, we were only voyeurs. The lucky ones at Staples Center earlier this month actually got to participate. They are awesome creatures and seemed so docile and sweet for animals that weigh more than two Chevy Tahoes. What do these beautiful creatures do after they get soaped up, scrubbed down and rinsed off?

Here's a little preview:

So all our hard work was for naught, but they sure look like they were having fun.

If you want to see them up close yourself, Funundrum runs through August 8 at the Anaheim locale. Because I'm connected with the circus folk (OC Family, actually), you can get a special MOM discount (works for dads too). Here's the deal: 4 tickets for $48 – all performances, including weekends. To take advantage, go to Ticketmaster.com or call (800) 745-3000 and enter or say MOM to redeem your savings!

Here are the remaining dates at The Pond..., err... Honda Center (anyone else miss the moniker "The Pond?"):

It's The Greatest Show on Earth! Take it from a guy who nose!

The Long, Lost Trailer

Tue, 27 Jul 2010 06:00:00 GMT

So I’m not sure if my wife reads my writing. I asked her once if she read one of my posts, and she said she did with no elaboration, comments or words otherwise. I’m not sure if she was terse because she really didn’t read it and didn’t want to hurt my feelings, or if she did and didn’t want to start a big self-adulating discourse by yours truly (very likely), or perhaps she did not want to take away from our reality TV binge?

Either way, I’m going to find out really soon. This is a deep, dark secret I’ve yet to share with her. I got into mountain biking for about a season (I’m not actually sure when Mountain biking season is, but I’m talking about a three-month span). Subsequently, I bought a trailer so that I could tow Jack behind.

One summer afternoon about two years ago, Jack and I decided to trek to Tri-City Park; it’s about three quarters of a mile from doorstep to swingset. We hadn’t exercised our dog nearly enough, so I decided to bring Bruno along. I over-inflated the tires on the trailer for less drag, then hooked it up to the bike with a lynch pin system, fastened Jack’s helmet and secured him in the trailer.

Just before we left, I ran back in the house for some water, came back out, mounted the Gary Fisher, closed the garage door and grabbed the leash. [Bruno on a leash is kind of like me snorkeling; I kind of freak out for about the first 30 seconds, then I become quite the apt pupil]. We made our way down the slight grade of the cul-de-sac, and, predictably, I had 75 pounds of Catahoula jerking my chain for the first 100 yards, but he hit his stride by the time we got to the outlet street. We traveled up another asphalt artery, crossed a 50-MPH street, and went down another residential downgrade for about a quarter mile. Every so often, I shouted back to Jack “how you doin’?,” assuming no news was good news.

There’s a inlet to the park that runs between two houses and requires significant maneuvering through with a bike and trailer. I approached it, hopped off my bike only to discover that “no news” was definitely not good news. No news meant there was no trailer behind me! Yes, that’s right, I lost my kid. I panicked briefly, dropped the leash, and darted up the grade as if I was vying for a yellow jersey. I’m not sure if the phrase “Oh My God” is blasphemous in this context, but if it is, I’m going to hell 30 times over just for the return leg. I was hoping (to God) not to see a yellow carriage splitting lanes on Placentia Avenue. I didn’t. I re-traced my path and got to the end of a my street quicker than you can say "child services." A neighbor was driving down. I implored him to help me, and I didn’t wait for confirmation as I threw the bike in the bed of his truck. Just then, I heard someone shouting to me from in front of my garage, “he’s up here!”

Turns out, when I laid my bike down to run inside, the pin became “un-lynched.” Jack was sitting in front of the garage the entire time. My neighbor to the north found Jack in a bit of sorts, but not totally inconsolable. After squeezing Jack like a lemon and bringing my heart down to <200 BPM, I re-engaged the trailer, and we retrieved the dog who was waiting patiently, if not totally bewildered, at the precipice of the park; I think we made it to the playground despite the trauma, though honestly, I can’t remember... and yes, this was the same summer as innocence lost (trend here?).

The whole debacle reminds me the Luci and Desi vehicle The Long, Long Trailer. The iconic couple are newlyweds who take a trailer on honeymoon. Their adventure follows Murphy’s Law closer than any map, and after several disastrous episodes, Desi’s character (Nicholas Collini) has the following exchange with a park keeper:

Nicholas Collini: Been married long?
Park Keeper: About 31 years.
Nicholas Collini: Have many fights?
Park Keeper: Nope.
Nicholas Collini: Then take my advice: don’t buy a trailer.

My advice: Buy the trailer, but check it twice… and if you do something as stupid as I did, wait at least two years before you tell your wife.

In a related story, I’ve got a slightly used, InSTEP 2008 Quick N EZ Bicycle Trailer for sale...

The Day Innocence Was Lost…

Tue, 20 Jul 2010 22:22:00 GMT

Don't worry, this isn't a tale about anyone's virginity.

This is about the day that I saw my son's faith in humanity vanish like equity in a home... or a finger in the mouth to be exact.

It was a midweek afternoon. I had just come home from work. I passed a few neighbors at the end of the block on my way up the cul-de-sac. I grabbed Jack from the nanny (mother-in-law actually), wagoned up, and may have even had a few "daddy beverages" in tow. We rolled down the three houses to the impromptu block party. There were a six kids, four parents in all.

Jack was at that curious age at less than a year old. Unable to talk, but old enough to process. He seemed to enjoy the interaction with the other boys. He liked to point and touch; it was his sort of tactile way to experience of the world.

Well, he stretched out his arm outside the red wagon's confines and extended his index finger in full ET style.

I had no idea how profoundly prophetic the Extra Terrestrial's line "ouch" would be.

The blonde-mopped younger brother of a pair of pretty poorly behaved boys (we've since found out) bit down on Jack's finger in a manner would stir the Cullen's bloodlust.

Jack wailed like I had never heard before, but that wasn't the worst part. When I went to pick him up, he spiked my eyes with this wide-eyed expression I'll never forget. He couldn't speak, but you could see him questioning "why" through his screaming tears. Sure his finger hurt, but he didn't understand the monster's motives, and I think that was even worse. It was a moment indelible in my mind, and no doubt his.

Heartsick, I clutched my little bug tightly to my chest, and grabbed the handle of the wagon and retreated home.

We went on with our day and our lives in what was now one big, cruel world. It was truly the day that innocence was lost.

My Hero Code-Name: Supercheap

Tue, 13 Jul 2010 23:05:00 GMT

It’s summertime. Time for sun, time for fun and time for parties… parties that are fun to attend, but expensive to throw. Jack’s last large-scale party cost $1,000; he was 1.

So here’s my money-wise party tip. Make your invitations. Here’s how I did it…

Jack is into Superheroes. Any of them. Mainstream: Batman, Spider-man, Superman. Newfangle: BenTen, IronMan, Airbenders. Oldschool: Hong Kong Phooey, Mighty Mouse, Power Rangers.

All of them.

I’m a right-brain kind of guy insomuch as I a have some creative skills, and I often get lost on freeways (don’t laugh… it’s proven science). I wouldn’t, however, call myself “a creative type.” I would call myself cheap, or perhaps unwilling to shell out $95 on 50 custom invites.

So this is what I did.

My wife took this picture:

I went to BeFunky.com, uploaded the photo and added this cartoon effect:

I opened it in PhotoShop Elements 5.0 (10-year old program) and masked out the watermark. Coscto has version 8 for $49.99 ($79.99 – $30 online coupon good 7/15/2010 through 8/8/10).

Then I went to fotosearch.com and added callouts in Photoshop by pasting them in a "new layer."

Then, I went to fontspace.com and downloaded “UnmaskedBB” comic book font for free (for PCs, just download, extract and drop in fonts folder in C:drive/Windows/Fonts).

I added the text in PowerPoint because it was easier than Photoshop.

We printed them on 50 blank Wal-Mart blank invitations with envelopes (about $13).

I had a color map on back as well. All told, I used one color ink cartridge on my HP 7410 that I refilled at Costco for $9.99.

So Jack has a custom invitation and a happy birthday, and we’re out for about $25 bucks, plus my time value of money… Of course, I’m a mortgage broker, so now-a-days, I work really cheap.

Supercheap, actually.